Discussion Meeting other suicidal people

[Sarros]

Lately people I meet or get to know have confessed to either being passively suicidal or have admitted to once being actively suicidal or having commited suicide. It's quite alarming to see.

But in a sick way, I feel awkwardly comforted in the sense that they feel that they can admit that to me and that I have company in that regard outside of this site. I can't shake the feeling however, that, other than a feeling of safety or security that allows them to admit this to me, it's instead something they feel like is something more surface level or innocuous to admit.

I also want to help these people but I find it difficult to express some kind of warmth to them outside of physical touch which has become increasingly taboo for a male to initiate. But I can't help it, that's just my 'love language' so to speak.

 

[hopelesswanderer]

That must be challenging to deal with emotionally especially with your own set of circumstances. Do you find yourself tempted to give them words of encouragement or push them to seek help? That's probably how I'd feel even though I don't feel that way about myself. I've never had anyone open up to me in that regard, it makes me think everyone around me is just perfect and enjoying life thoroughly and I'm the only one hurting

 

[Sarros]

You would think so but the way they mention it in passing and how blasè they are about it doesn't really put a whole lot of weight in it despite the subject matter. They also don't really go much into detail about it.
I'm not sure what to make of it even though the behavior is not quite unlike mine own at times. Call it a cry for help if you like, I think when I let slip like that, I kind of just want a hug. But it's not something a guy can ask for.

Speaking of which, if it helps anyone reading this, sending you a virtual hug I could really use one today...and for the last 20 years.

 

[hopelesswanderer]

. But it's not something a guy can ask for.

Speaking of which, if it helps anyone reading this, sending you a virtual hug I could really use one today...and for the last 20 years.

Sending you a virtual hug! As a fellow male I related so much to that comment. Sometimes I subtly reference my suicidal ideation to a friend and wish I could get a hug but my friends just brush it off like you said.

 

[wren-briar]

Call it a cry for help if you like, I think when I let slip like that, I kind of just want a hug.

Depending on the person and context, it is absolutely okay to ask for a hug! Don't assume, but —in my experience— asking is absolutely okay in the vast majority of cases.

Speaking of which, if it helps anyone reading this, sending you a virtual hug I could really use one today...and for the last 20 years.

Lately people I meet or get to know have confessed to either being passively suicidal or have admitted to once being actively suicidal or having commited suicide.

I've really only had it come up in one of three situations.

First, I had an accident that almost left me a quadriplegic (which is one of those situations where I definitely would want to CTB). I ended up having conversations with three different people, including one who was barely more than a stranger, who expressed that they too would want to CTB in such a situation. And in all three, the other person suggested making a pact so that if either of us were to become quadriplegic, we'd do everything we could to help them CTB. It was honestly surreal and amazingly comforting! And yes, I still touch base with each of them from time to time, and they've reached out to check on me from time to time.

Second and third, were between being made actively suicidal and falling to CTB, and since failing to CTB in late Aug. Interestingly, all of my truly close friends, even though this isn't something we had ever talked about before I was made actively suicidal, have been supportive of me CTB. I think a large part of it is that they really have seen just how thoroughly I was destroyed.

Of them, over half have admitted to wanting to CTB themselves, either in their past, or as something they're looking forward to, but even then it's been to varying degrees. Some who wanted to in the past, claim that it's something they don't actually want to do (i.e. it's purely ideation), but then give concrete reasons why they wouldn't do it, and none of those reasons apply to me —yes, there's been a wee bit of awkwardness in those conversations.

Frankly, I absolutely believe in one's right to die when and how they choose. If any of my friends CTB before me, I'll absolutely be sad that I, and their other friends and family members, don't get to spend time with them anymore, but I'll be genuinely happy that they've achieved that goal for whatever reason (I assume for peace from this world, like me, and like most of us, but their reasons are their reasons). And yes, over the decades, I've had other friends, colleagues, friends' relatives, etc, who did CTB, and my first thought upon learning about each of them was always gratitude for the person who CTB and only then sadness for those they left behind.