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silentsinger

silentsinger

Experienced
Mar 1, 2019
261
I know a lot of people are capable of saying mean things that they come to regret, I certainly am.
I cannot understand sometimes why somebody who should be looking out for/after me keeps being so mean to me with their words and actions. I wont post here about my circumstances because that's not what this is. I just can't understand the cruelty and the mentality. If it were the other way around and I were physically well I would be 100% supportive of this person.
I do understand that alcoholism is an illness and a terrible one at that but I don't think it excuses his behaviour. The thing is, I actually agree with some of his comments. I really am no good to anyone the way I am. It is just a fact. But I try to deal with it the best I can, I try to be positive when I can and I try not to ask 'why me?'. Because why not me? Illness is a tragic and devastating part of life, but it is life.
I worry a lot about other people and I like to make sure people I care about are ok. I worry about how my Brother deals with my illness. He visits when he can but he doesn't live nearby and he is very caring. I am also lucky that I have supportive people on here and that one or two even pm me. But I just wish this person could think about the consequences of his actions. He was been like this throughout my upbringing but has been worse since a family loss. Shouldn't he be thinking that family is important? I play 'Lean on me' regularly by Bill Withers and it is moving me to tears right now.
I know nobody can help me with this but I feel lonely and ill and I just needed to vent. Thank you. Xx
 
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silentsinger

silentsinger

Experienced
Mar 1, 2019
261
Please can I talk to somebody if that is ok? I feel a bit desperate at the moment but very emotional.
 
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silentsinger

silentsinger

Experienced
Mar 1, 2019
261
Hi, doll. Message me if you wish.
I'm so sorry, I don't know what I was thinking asking that. I just feel a little worse than normal. All of us need somebody to talk to, I was just being selfish. You're really kind though for saying that because I know you mean it. I have seen some of your posts and I always love seeing the picture in your avatar.
 
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sunny.sativa

sunny.sativa

organic
Apr 2, 2019
317
Heyyy, hey don't apologize! Glad you responded. I'm not judging you at all right now, I promise. I don't blame you for reaching out, I stopped called the hotline, myself, because they always sent me to a ward. Ugh. Not helpful.
What's going on that's bringing you so low today?
My avatar seems to be doing his job. :)


Edit:
I mean, wait okay, i did read your post and I understand what's going on, for the most part.. I didn't mean to neglect the subject, but I suppose I meant to ask if anything in particular happened today
 
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silentsinger

silentsinger

Experienced
Mar 1, 2019
261
Heyyy, hey don't apologize! Glad you responded. I'm not judging you at all right now, I promise. I don't blame you for reaching out, I stopped called the hotline, myself, because they always sent me to a ward. Ugh. Not helpful.
What's going on that's bringing you so low today?
My avatar seems to be doing his job. :)


Edit:
I mean, wait okay, i did read your post and I understand what's going on, for the most part.. I didn't mean to neglect the subject, but I suppose I meant to ask if anything in particular happened today
I just had a bad meet up with a family member but I feel very poorly too and my treatment can take it's toll, it makes me feel rough. I just feel exhausted with too many emotions. God no, you've not neglected anything, it's really nice of you to reach out like that and be supportive. That means a lot to me. Thank you so much!!
 
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sunny.sativa

sunny.sativa

organic
Apr 2, 2019
317
I just had a bad meet up with a family member but I feel very poorly too and my treatment can take it's toll, it makes me feel rough. I just feel exhausted with too many emotions. God no, you've not neglected anything, it's really nice of you to reach out like that and be supportive. That means a lot to me. Thank you so much!!
Family is damn rough to be around, man, I feel that 100%. Especially when you're similar people (well, in my case this is an issue because my personality is shit, so dealing with it from the outside is horrible lol) Treatment? For mental or (/and??) physical ailments, may I ask? What would help you, do you think?
 
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Tabbyql

Tabbyql

Chronic people pleaser
Mar 13, 2019
282
Please can I talk to somebody if that is ok? I feel a bit desperate at the moment but very emotional.
Hey sorry it's a bit late, but if you need to vent. I'm here too :)
 
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silentsinger

silentsinger

Experienced
Mar 1, 2019
261
Family is damn rough to be around, man, I feel that 100%. Especially when you're similar people (well, in my case this is an issue because my personality is shit, so dealing with it from the outside is horrible lol) Treatment? For mental or (/and??) physical ailments, may I ask? What would help you, do you think?
I'm so sorry for the late reply, i feel so rough today. I agree about family but you don't seem to have a bad personality to me. I have an illness that is going to cause my death but it is quite common for people living with it to find the treatment makes them very ill.
Hey sorry it's a bit late, but if you need to vent. I'm here too :)
Thank you very much. If ever either of you want to talk I would always lend an ear. Even if i didn't see your messages straight away i would get back to you as soon as i could. Thank you so much.
 
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silentsinger

silentsinger

Experienced
Mar 1, 2019
261
Black eye yesterday, kind of proves my point.
 
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silentsinger

silentsinger

Experienced
Mar 1, 2019
261
Someone gave you a black eye? I hope not.

It's not ok how your family treats you. I can't understand it.
It's just the one person but I do find it hard. I know a lot of people have similar issues with family. Xx
 
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Orin

Orin

Experienced
Apr 16, 2019
253
I know a lot of people are capable of saying mean things that they come to regret, I certainly am.
I cannot understand sometimes why somebody who should be looking out for/after me keeps being so mean to me with their words and actions. I wont post here about my circumstances because that's not what this is. I just can't understand the cruelty and the mentality. If it were the other way around and I were physically well I would be 100% supportive of this person.
I do understand that alcoholism is an illness and a terrible one at that but I don't think it excuses his behaviour. The thing is, I actually agree with some of his comments. I really am no good to anyone the way I am. It is just a fact. But I try to deal with it the best I can, I try to be positive when I can and I try not to ask 'why me?'. Because why not me? Illness is a tragic and devastating part of life, but it is life.
I worry a lot about other people and I like to make sure people I care about are ok. I worry about how my Brother deals with my illness. He visits when he can but he doesn't live nearby and he is very caring. I am also lucky that I have supportive people on here and that one or two even pm me. But I just wish this person could think about the consequences of his actions. He was been like this throughout my upbringing but has been worse since a family loss. Shouldn't he be thinking that family is important? I play 'Lean on me' regularly by Bill Withers and it is moving me to tears right now.
I know nobody can help me with this but I feel lonely and ill and I just needed to vent. Thank you. Xx

I can certainly relate.

I was born into a mean family. Both sides.

You wanna know how mean? I once confided in my mother that i was having suicidal thoughts. She asked if i have thought of how i would end it.... I said "maybe jump over the Golden Gate Bridge."

She said "why waste money going to SF when you can jump over the Coronado bridge?"
 
silentsinger

silentsinger

Experienced
Mar 1, 2019
261
I can certainly relate.

I was born into a mean family. Both sides.

You wanna know how mean? I once confided in my mother that i was having suicidal thoughts. She asked if i have thought of how i would end it.... I said "maybe jump over the Golden Gate Bridge."

She said "why waste money going to SF when you can jump over the Coronado bridge?"
I'M Really sorry to hear that you have had similar experiences. I think that is very upsetting, such a callous remark. Parents really can shape the way we feel about ourselves from an early age, can't they?
 

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