m0e
Member
- Nov 19, 2023
- 6
play the vid while reading the thread it puts you in my mood writing this...
ive been thinking ma whole life anxiously and thinking deeply about god and existence i had no troubles yet i was not ok even when i had troubles to acheive that false "balance between the yeng and yang" it did not feel alright i prayed teared up till i reached the truth that i had no troubles!! all the time … i was the only trouble it started with me and it will end with me god has abandoned me and living another day to suffer pointlessly is undesirable i condemn existence for my state of mind and soul am
….
am ready …
am ready to tear this shallow skin of biological existence and reach to the truth only the nothingness and only is truly desirable am sick of living just because other people expects me to am not living for anyone i lived for my self and am dying for my self and raising the middle finger to everyone who wanted me to be something i didnt want to be and here i invite everyone who is comitting it because they didnt get social acceptance to not do it... at least coz of other people that would be mre sad than the hellish reality they lived in ….. an un-regrettable death as i always wanted, i dont expect nor want to be missed nor grieved upon as that wont forward or rewind any thing that happened my death will always be an ugly scar on the beautiful face of the false existence painting that pro lifers tried to draw..at least for those who knew me, sorry if i was rude in any possible way i just want you to understand its my choice to sleep well once and for all…one cant be harmed if he didnt exist in the first place as funeralcry said for, everyday i hated… i hated this flesh and meat i lived inside i always thought that am better … better than this but i got shocked when i realized that i wasnt that why i existed in the first place
ive been thinking ma whole life anxiously and thinking deeply about god and existence i had no troubles yet i was not ok even when i had troubles to acheive that false "balance between the yeng and yang" it did not feel alright i prayed teared up till i reached the truth that i had no troubles!! all the time … i was the only trouble it started with me and it will end with me god has abandoned me and living another day to suffer pointlessly is undesirable i condemn existence for my state of mind and soul am
….
am ready …
am ready to tear this shallow skin of biological existence and reach to the truth only the nothingness and only is truly desirable am sick of living just because other people expects me to am not living for anyone i lived for my self and am dying for my self and raising the middle finger to everyone who wanted me to be something i didnt want to be and here i invite everyone who is comitting it because they didnt get social acceptance to not do it... at least coz of other people that would be mre sad than the hellish reality they lived in ….. an un-regrettable death as i always wanted, i dont expect nor want to be missed nor grieved upon as that wont forward or rewind any thing that happened my death will always be an ugly scar on the beautiful face of the false existence painting that pro lifers tried to draw..at least for those who knew me, sorry if i was rude in any possible way i just want you to understand its my choice to sleep well once and for all…one cant be harmed if he didnt exist in the first place as funeralcry said for, everyday i hated… i hated this flesh and meat i lived inside i always thought that am better … better than this but i got shocked when i realized that i wasnt that why i existed in the first place
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