Hi guys,
First of all I want to say thank you to our community here, I'm glad that I found this place where I have found so many people who share the same feeling with me even though our situation might be different, and also a lot of useful information to make my plan (hopefully) come true.
If anyone has read my last thread, I have tried to CTB couple of times but it wasn't succeeded, to be honest, because I was afraid. Last time when I was in my car with a pan of charcoal burning, I started feeling every stage of CO poising, I felt nausea, dizzy and my vision has changed to a point that I couldn't tell the distance properly when I tried to grab my car key. I tried to fall as sleep so hard but couldn't, then it struck me that what if I didn't die from this and ended up suffering for nothing, that was when I opened the car and got out, I couldn't move so I sat in the middle of the road for so long, at some point during that time I thought what if I got back into the car but then my logical thinking (or my survival instinct) saying to me that since I opened the door and let the CO out, the chance of me succeed is even more low.
It's been couple of weeks from that night and I've been thinking to try it again everyday. I shared my thoughts in my last thread and got advise that if I could manage to keep staying in my car that day, that would be my last already. And it really encourage me to try one more time, and hopefully will be my last. I tried if I could get my hands on some weed that could help me to fall as sleep to lessen my suffer, but I couldn't make it.
So I guess I'll just have to man up this time. My plan is to buy the best quality charcoal I can find so they last the longest, probably will try to use some paracetamol for the headache, I'm planning to get going on couple of nights from today, hopefully that will be my last day on this miserable life. If somehow I failed again, I would come back and share the experience with you guys.
Thank you all again for this wonderful site!
Bye friends!
First of all I want to say thank you to our community here, I'm glad that I found this place where I have found so many people who share the same feeling with me even though our situation might be different, and also a lot of useful information to make my plan (hopefully) come true.
If anyone has read my last thread, I have tried to CTB couple of times but it wasn't succeeded, to be honest, because I was afraid. Last time when I was in my car with a pan of charcoal burning, I started feeling every stage of CO poising, I felt nausea, dizzy and my vision has changed to a point that I couldn't tell the distance properly when I tried to grab my car key. I tried to fall as sleep so hard but couldn't, then it struck me that what if I didn't die from this and ended up suffering for nothing, that was when I opened the car and got out, I couldn't move so I sat in the middle of the road for so long, at some point during that time I thought what if I got back into the car but then my logical thinking (or my survival instinct) saying to me that since I opened the door and let the CO out, the chance of me succeed is even more low.
It's been couple of weeks from that night and I've been thinking to try it again everyday. I shared my thoughts in my last thread and got advise that if I could manage to keep staying in my car that day, that would be my last already. And it really encourage me to try one more time, and hopefully will be my last. I tried if I could get my hands on some weed that could help me to fall as sleep to lessen my suffer, but I couldn't make it.
So I guess I'll just have to man up this time. My plan is to buy the best quality charcoal I can find so they last the longest, probably will try to use some paracetamol for the headache, I'm planning to get going on couple of nights from today, hopefully that will be my last day on this miserable life. If somehow I failed again, I would come back and share the experience with you guys.
Thank you all again for this wonderful site!
Bye friends!
