Venting Maybe a goodbye?

[Safralavendel]

I've been planning my cbt for about 4 weeks now and pretty much everything has gone wrong in the last 24 hours lmao.
I took a little too much ketamine yesterday and then called my friend and told them about my plans. They then called the ambulance with the information that I had overdosed on ketamine, which of course wasn't true. Then the paramedics and police arrived at the door. I didn't want to open the door at first, but when they tried to break it down, I gave in and was forced to go to hospital with them, even though I was able to communicate normally again. At the hospital, I was then kept under surveillance by two police officers fpr one hour until I was able to speak to the doctor. The conversation literally only lasted five minutes and then she released me. What a joke! As I was still on drugs, I asked to be taken home as I hadn't yet regained all my senses and lacked any sense of direction, my mobile phone battery was almost empty and I was being driven here against my will. The doctor then said that wasn't her problem and left me alone. I can't with this fucking system...
Now I'm still upset and feel really angry and ashamed because all my neighbours have heard about it.
I want to leave, but I imagined the whole thing would be a bit more peaceful. Today is my birthday and I wouldn't want to do it on any other day.
I'm trying to calm down a bit. Here's my plan:
- I'm using vomex as my AE, as unfortunately I couldn't get a prescription AE
- as a sedative I use mirtalich
- Paracetamol as a painkiller
- SN drink

I would like to thank the forum for all these valuable tips! I would also like to thank florence + the machine for their valuable music. Musically and lyrically I felt seen very much. If I don't write anything in the next 2 weeks, I must have been successful!

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry have to go through this. Good luck with your plan. I hope you find peace!

 

[ForgottenAgain]

So that visit to the hospital boiled down to just being a waste of time where they left you to fend for yourself for getting back home. So aggravating... I hope it wasn't too scary going back home alone, hope you found someone to take you back?

I imagine this bad experience may have worked to give another small push for ctb. It angers me when situations like this, that are meant to help the individual, just end up doing more damage - talk about losing faith in humanity.

I'm not savvy enough on methods to comment on the plan but I hope it works out well for you, if you decide to go through with it. Please keep updating so we know how you're doing...

 

[Safralavendel]

So that visit to the hospital boiled down to just being a waste of time where they left you to fend for yourself for getting back home. So aggravating... I hope it wasn't too scary going back home alone, hope you found someone to take you back?

I imagine this bad experience may have worked to give another small push for ctb. It angers me when situations like this, that are meant to help the individual, just end up doing more damage - talk about losing faith in humanity.

I'm not savvy enough on methods to comment on the plan but I hope it works out well for you, if you decide to go through with it. Please keep updating so we know how you're doing...

Exactly! Now I still have to deal with the feelings of incredible shame and anger, which I have no energy for. And I don't want to be labelled by my neighbours as the crazy person who takes drugs.
I take my tranquillisers straight away. As soon as I've taken SN, I'm going to switch off my laptop.

 

[lost_ange2211]

I'm sorry this has happend to you. Good luck with your plan and may you find your peace.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

Exactly! Now I still have to deal with the feelings of incredible shame and anger, which I have no energy for. And I don't want to be labelled by my neighbours as the crazy person who takes drugs.
I take my tranquillisers straight away. As soon as I've taken SN, I'm going to switch off my laptop.

Of course, it's awful, especially when others notice that something is off like the neighbours. Really poorly done on their part.

All the best for you, truly, you're not crazy and I sincerely hope no neighbour thinks that but, if they do, shame on them.

I'll be wishing you a calm and peaceful exit with SN, God knows you deserve tranquility

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find the freedom you search for, best wishes.

 

[Mi Mi]

I've been planning my cbt for about 4 weeks now and pretty much everything has gone wrong in the last 24 hours lmao.
I took a little too much ketamine yesterday and then called my friend and told them about my plans. They then called the ambulance with the information that I had overdosed on ketamine, which of course wasn't true. Then the paramedics and police arrived at the door. I didn't want to open the door at first, but when they tried to break it down, I gave in and was forced to go to hospital with them, even though I was able to communicate normally again. At the hospital, I was then kept under surveillance by two police officers fpr one hour until I was able to speak to the doctor. The conversation literally only lasted five minutes and then she released me. What a joke! As I was still on drugs, I asked to be taken home as I hadn't yet regained all my senses and lacked any sense of direction, my mobile phone battery was almost empty and I was being driven here against my will. The doctor then said that wasn't her problem and left me alone. I can't with this fucking system...
Now I'm still upset and feel really angry and ashamed because all my neighbours have heard about it.
I want to leave, but I imagined the whole thing would be a bit more peaceful. Today is my birthday and I wouldn't want to do it on any other day.
I'm trying to calm down a bit. Here's my plan:
- I'm using vomex as my AE, as unfortunately I couldn't get a prescription AE
- as a sedative I use mirtalich
- Paracetamol as a painkiller
- SN drink

I would like to thank the forum for all these valuable tips! I would also like to thank florence + the machine for their valuable music. Musically and lyrically I felt seen very much. If I don't write anything in the next 2 weeks, I must have been successful!

Happy Birthday
Best wishes for a smoother transition

 

[rozeske]

I hope everything goes smoothly for you

 

[Dot]

I've been planning my cbt for about 4 weeks now and pretty much everything has gone wrong in the last 24 hours lmao.
I took a little too much ketamine yesterday and then called my friend and told them about my plans. They then called the ambulance with the information that I had overdosed on ketamine, which of course wasn't true. Then the paramedics and police arrived at the door. I didn't want to open the door at first, but when they tried to break it down, I gave in and was forced to go to hospital with them, even though I was able to communicate normally again. At the hospital, I was then kept under surveillance by two police officers fpr one hour until I was able to speak to the doctor. The conversation literally only lasted five minutes and then she released me. What a joke! As I was still on drugs, I asked to be taken home as I hadn't yet regained all my senses and lacked any sense of direction, my mobile phone battery was almost empty and I was being driven here against my will. The doctor then said that wasn't her problem and left me alone. I can't with this fucking system...
Now I'm still upset and feel really angry and ashamed because all my neighbours have heard about it.
I want to leave, but I imagined the whole thing would be a bit more peaceful. Today is my birthday and I wouldn't want to do it on any other day.
I'm trying to calm down a bit. Here's my plan:
- I'm using vomex as my AE, as unfortunately I couldn't get a prescription AE
- as a sedative I use mirtalich
- Paracetamol as a painkiller
- SN drink

I would like to thank the forum for all these valuable tips! I would also like to thank florence + the machine for their valuable music. Musically and lyrically I felt seen very much. If I don't write anything in the next 2 weeks, I must have been successful!

Dd th/ hosptl nt ask u abt ur mentl hlth or offr u n.e rsourcs