ItsOverIsntIt

ItsOverIsntIt

Experienced
Sep 9, 2020
234
I dont know if anyone else is having this problem, but I guess its offtopic or whatever.

Today is my moms birthday and I dont know how to feel. Im happy for her but i keep lying about what I am doing and how I feel. I feel numb and like I wont get anywhere but I have never told her that. I feel like she will be disappointed in me. This isnt how I wanted the day to go and I wish I could make it better for her but I am exhausted.
I keep telling her that I am doing fine and making up lies about my schoolwork to make her and my family feel better. I dont know how long i can last before I say a wrong lie

If anyone has any similar experience you are free to share
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
I told her everything and that's the worst mistake I ever made. Or maybe the worst mistake is that I didn't join a forum until it was too late so I actually had someone to talk to who might have actually helped. This is extremely painful for me so I debated whether to even respond. You're my past self had I not been so feckless and what I'd tell you is what I'd tell myself or what I wish someone had told me. That's the best I can do until I kill myself. I think you'll be fine. You've just got to make it through the day. As have I
 
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TheSoulless

TheSoulless

I'd like to fly but my wings have been so denied
Jan 7, 2020
1,055
I've lived alone for a month now. When my family asks how I'm doing, I do lie about it. How could I tell them that I do nothing but play games and drink beer, or that I don't eat well, clean my apartment or exercise? They know I've been struggling with depression, they just don't know how much.
 
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Silver

Silver

The 21st century is when everything changes
Aug 8, 2020
745
Ugh I relate to this. Spent years lying to family about school, university etc, I felt I had to because they only accepted me doing well, not badly. Same now and my experience is similar to TheSoulless, if I told them what I really do (nothing, really) I'd be subjected to questioning so it's not worth it and I lie to avoid it.
 
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