Venting Luck Controlling Life- The Ultimate Contributor to Suicide

[Worthless_nobody]

Bad luck is essentially the reason main reason why Ill be commiting suicide. Because of bad luck I experienced all the horrible things, abuse, trauma, bad mental/physical health etc. Luck ultimately controls our fate and our destiny in life..we can only control our lives so much. Luck dictates our, genes, our health, who our family is, who we meet, what opportunities we have. It is so disheartening to try so hard in life...to do everything right and the same as others only to be beaten down, defeated and driven to suicide by life while others continually get blessed and blessed all because of luck. How is this fair? Suicidal people are told to "get help, hang in there, it gets better" and all sorts of unhelpful, vapid, empty platitudes that solve nothing. We are forbidden by society to kill ourselves but expected to exist in a terrible situation. When we go through trauma that beats us down and drives us to suicide we are called a "survivor or a warrior" and that the bad things help to make us stronger...no its driven me to kill myself. Im sick and tired of being a "survivor", and having life test me...im sick and tired of hanging on only for life to beat me back down again the minute I begin to become happy again or life starts becoming marginally better. It never fails...its like life is peeking around the corner watching me about to be happy then it all comes crashing down again worse than before. Trauma piled on top of trauma. A person can only take so much bad luck before they snap and just give up.

I didn't ask for this life..I didn't ask to be here. I tried really hard in life...yet luck determined my fate...and because of luck I choose to die. I just cant believe this...this is life..this is it.....Im just saddened and sick I have to ctb but its the only way. Just venting this out because no one in life listens.

 

[XYZ]

I agree with you. Life is a game of chance. Einstein said he could never accept quantum mechanism because "God does not play dice with the universe." I think God is playing dice, poker and blackjack while drinking vodka with a couple of Russians who only have one bullet in their gun. It's all random.

 

[bigdog]

Recently I started to believe in determinism. So basically it is luck. We control literally zero in our lives

 

[softfuzzyman]

I keep finding people whose take is "no amount of suffering or hard work will guarantee you'll be rewarded with an easy life in the end or success, no matter how hard you work you still might just keep receiving bad circumstances" but they like try to spin it in a positive way and say "you still just have to keep going like everyone else" but it's just like wtf no you're literally saying what I believe, that it never gets better, but saying that's a good thing? Wtf is wrong with people. I think the mindset there is "we all have to go thru suffering that isn't our fault and we can't control so you don't get to just cop out ha ha you should just take it because that's what everyone else does" but that's so awful.

 

[Checkmate3]

Oh, yes. The disgusting circumstances that life puts against me are simply unbelievable. If it's not bad luck I don't know what is. Sometimes these circumstances even look cartoonish, as if someone creates them out of thin air in a hurry. Sloppy job by the Universe, and yet it works. I give up.

 

[XYZ]

Recently I started to believe in determinism. So basically it is luck. We control literally zero in our lives

Determinism is the opposite of luck. In a deterministic universe events are caused by previous events. They are not random.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I keep finding people whose take is "no amount of suffering or hard work will guarantee you'll be rewarded with an easy life in the end or success, no matter how hard you work you still might just keep receiving bad circumstances" but they like try to spin it in a positive way and say "you still just have to keep going like everyone else" but it's just like wtf no you're literally saying what I believe, that it never gets better, but saying that's a good thing? Wtf is wrong with people. I think the mindset there is "we all have to go thru suffering that isn't our fault and we can't control so you don't get to just cop out ha ha you should just take it because that's what everyone else does" but that's so awful.

I get so sick of these people. All of them in my life who say that garbage wouldn't last a day in any of our circumstances. Non suicidal pro life people just don't get it and never will. I'll also never understand why everyone is ok with life. We live to work to die...that's it. I feel so alone that I just can't accept life. I can't accept the "that's just what society says you do, everyone does it". The thing is all of us here have had so much worse luck than most others in life yet they can't just even try to understand. It's unfair we are held to the same standard as everyone else and expected to live like everyone else when life beat us down worse despite trying to make things better. So people like us here on SS just cant go on anymore and society shames suicidal people...it's just sickening.

Recently I started to believe in determinism. So basically it is luck. We control literally zero in our lives

This is interesting I will look into it. I have read about a lot of different philosophy and ideas but not this yet. Here is just some brief summary I found. I don't fully understand and will read further but I agree with parts of it especially the part about genes and anxiety:

Quoted excerpt: "Determinism: the doctrine that all events, including human action, are ultimately determined by causes regarded as external to the will. Some philosophers have taken determinism to imply that individual human beings have no free will and cannot be held morally responsible for their actions."
"Determinism is the belief that all human behaviors flow from genetic or environmental factors that, once they have occurred, are very difficult or impossible to change. For example, a determinist might argue that a person's genes make him or her anxious. An extreme determinist would argue that gene-based anxiety cannot be altered, while a moderate determinist would argue that anxiety's genetic basis makes it more difficult to change"

 

[Anthagonos]

Of course.. luck exists and I dont know if I have had very bad luck in life or astonishing awesome good luck.

One thing Im sure: lots of strange things have happened to me in my life.

For example having a car accident and we survived because my car perfectly fit in the unique rock it was present there. If not, we would had fallen more than 30 meters and maybe we havent survived.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Of course.. luck exists and I dont know if I have had very bad luck in life or astonishing awesome good luck.

One thing Im sure: lots of strange things have happened to me in my life.

For example having a car accident and we survived because my car perfectly fit in the unique rock it was present there. If not, we would had fallen more than 30 meters and maybe we havent survived.

Wow that car accident sounds scary! I have had a lot of very strange surreal things happen in my life as well. Mostly bad luck but very odd things have happened to me that had I been in another place at that time I would have been dead already.. stuff like that. It was really scary when I was homeless...see a lot and experienced very strange things. It's a weird feeling knowing I would have been dead already if I had stayed in a certain spot...and here I am planning to ctb.

 

[Anthagonos]

Wow that car accident sounds scary! I have had a lot of very strange surreal things happen in my life as well. Mostly bad luck but very odd things have happened to me that had I been in another place at that time I would have been dead already.. stuff like that. It was really scary when I was homeless...see a lot and experienced very strange things. It's a weird feeling knowing I would have been dead already if I had stayed in a certain spot...and here I am planning to ctb.

Yes, this is awesome.
I spent years of my life researching methods to expand life. Basically using magnetic fields in living beings. Now I am planning ctb too. Ironic, right?

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Yes, this is awesome.
I spent years of my life researching methods to expand life. Basically using magnetic fields in living beings. Now I am planning ctb too. Ironic, right?

I'm interested what is the magnetic fields your talking about? I might as well learn something new to pass time until it's my time to ctb.

 

[Anthagonos]

I'm interested what is the magnetic fields your talking about? I might as well learn something new to pass time until it's my time to ctb.

It started years ago when I wanted to be millionaire. I was young and without experience and I had abandoned school because it bored me. So I decided to "research" things about medicine.

In my "research" I accidentally discovered some researchers that claimed that aging can be reversed using electricity. One of those researchers was George Lakhovsky. This man claimed that all living beings emited radiation and when individuals are healthy they emit specific frequencies. When there is a disease the frequencies change. So he invented a device calle MWO that emitted all the good frequencies at once. He shown he was able to reverse multiple diseases but also aging!

It seems as long as we get old our bodies lose frequencies that are possible to "stimulate" when external magnetic fields are applied to the living being. Basically it seems aging is a process where the living being gets distorted about frequencies. If you are capable of stimulate the correct frequencies you are able to reverse aging.
Priore also discovered that depending the frequencies applied it was possible to invigorate or destroy the living being. Its all about frequencies!

This is easy to see when you expose a plant to a acoustic energy. You can accelerate, ddecxelerat, etc... depending the frequencies applied.

 

[Superdeterminist]

In this reality, everything is chance, it is purely circumstantial. One does not pick their genes, their parents, their environment...anything. We're just aware of everything as it unfolds, for better or worse, with an illusory feeling of agency. Prolifers love to cry about free will and the ability to simply "change your mindset", but that's complete rubbish. The fact is, brains are made of matter, which is constrained by the same physical laws as all other matter, brains are not 'free' by any means, whatever that is even supposed to mean. Therefore, decisions are not free, because they result from neural activity. Whether or not one's life improves is not their choice. One's mindset may one day improve, or it may never, and in either case one can't account for exactly why it did (or did not). One can't simply 'think' oneself into a better place, which is to say, one cannot fundamentally rewire their neural circuits just by willing it so. If we were truly mentally free, everyone would only make perfect decisions.

 

[Anthagonos]

In this reality, everything is chance, it is purely circumstantial. One does not pick their genes, their parents, their environment...anything. We're just aware of everything as it unfolds, for better or worse, with an illusory feeling of agency. Prolifers love to cry about free will and the ability to simply "change your mindset", but that's complete rubbish. The fact is, brains are made of matter, which is constrained by the same physical laws as all other matter, brains are not 'free' by any means, whatever that is even supposed to mean. Therefore, decisions are not free, because they result from neural activity. Whether or not one's life improves is not their choice. One's mindset may one day improve, or it may never, and in either case one can't account for exactly why it did (or did not). One can't simply 'think' oneself into a better place, which is to say, one cannot fundamentally rewire their neural circuits just by willing it so. If we were truly mentally free, everyone would only make perfect decisions.

My mother for example had a problem when she was born. Lack of oxygen. A guy told me that that problem causes problems with social interactions. Everybody says she is a little bit crazy. I didnt decided that I wanted that mother.

One day I was sit in a place near a friend that was following a conversation. He mentioned the name of one school and finally I ended in that school. That school was so bad in educational level that I stopped studying. If I wasnt there I would never had listened to that school name and I would never gone there. Maybe today I would have an university degree.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Well life did it AGAIN...I try and I get beaten down. I'm just so done, so sick of trying, sick of crying....I can't take it anymore. It never fails...life always finds a way to ensure I'll ctb...some people say suicide is "the cowards way out or you shouldn't let things get you down fight back or if you commit suicide your letting your abuser or life beat you"....NO that's just worthless platitude and shaming. I'm not going let life win ...I'm going to stop playing the "game of life" I'm opting out. Life turned it's back on me I'm turning my back on life and refusing to play anymore. Suicide really is the only path for me. If all this shit in life was supposed to "make me stronger"...well it didn't...it killed me.

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

It could get better if you do something about it. If you stay in the same place without doing nothing it's difficult that things get better. Not talking about you/your situation. But if you want something you have to go for it. Don't wait for things to happen. But sometimes we do our best and bad things happen anyway. Bad luck. I don't know what else to do. I tried everything to improve. I gave my best. I wanted to have a better life but I can't and I will be stuck with these thoughts forever. It sucks.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

It could get better if you do something about it. If you stay in the same place without doing nothing it's difficult that things get better. Not talking about you/your situation. But if you want something you have to go for it. Don't wait for things to happen. But sometimes we do our best and bad things happen anyway. Bad luck. I don't know what else to do. I tried everything to improve. I gave my best. I wanted to have a better life but I can't and I will be stuck with these thoughts forever. It sucks.

Oh yes I agree. Things could change if people do something to bring about change and try. It's always best to try first that way you know deep down you did everything possible.

I did my best too. I try and try..I have moved, tried therapy which I can't afford, I was going to go to some specialists for my physical issues but they are too expensive and regular drs just dismiss me. I tried to re do life but I get beaten down worse. All my mental problems and physical problems keep adding up along with the bad luck. I literally feel like I'm 60+ years old.

I want to live so bad but not like this. Sending you hugs