Venting Love, maternity, religion, family.. they mean nothing to me anymore

[Meena]

I have experienced the meaningless of life.

I know we r all in the same boat wanting to end our lives.
Idk if anyone else has experienced like me the nonsense of life.
I have bipolar disorder. And in addition to that have suffered from erotomania and illusions that my psychiatrist is in love with me. This has ruined my marriage.
My ex hwo is from another country chose to come back to his country and take our son from whom i am seperated for the last 6 years. I got to see him few times per year.
But the worse for me is the reaction of my son. I have been told that maternity is the greatest feeling in this world. To have this deep connection between a child and a mother. The point is that my son is doing very well without me and i feel i am not essential to his life while he means the world for me. Although i have experienced war, poverty, mental illness in my life, this point: knowing that i am superfluous to my kid is the worse feeling ever. We became stranger to each other.
I tried to find comfort in religion but didn't get any.
If i will ctb, i think it won't be because of my pbs. I believe that maybe we all might have a solution to ours pbs one day.
I want to die because life is meaningless.
Love, maternity, religion, family.. they mean nothing to me anymore.
Thank you for reading me

 

[Redt2go]

I have experienced the meaningless of life.


I want to die because life is meaningless.

I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse but you said you dont want to die bc of your problems... The belief that life is meaningless is technically a symptom of depression . That you could 'solve' with tx albeit a lot of fucking work given your situation but yeah...

 

[Meena]

I don't know if this will make you feel better or worse but you said you dont want to die bc of your problems... The belief that life is meaningless is technically a symptom of depression . That you could 'solve' with tx albeit a lot of fucking work given your situation but yeah...

I take antidepressant in addition to my treatment. I fell better since i take it. I don't think it is depression but lucidity.

 

[Wallflower]

my family's really big on religion. and i used to be too, but then i got older and i really began to question it.

to me, religion is praying to a god that doesn't exist. throwing things at a "god" and hoping he solves your issues is stupid. it's up to you. change your life to the way you want it by working hard. hope this helps.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

It's not necessarily that you find life meaningless. It's more that the things you describe are what society has decided you should find meaningful. It okay to not feel the same way. With almost 8 billion people it's not surprising that we are becoming more diversified in our thinking. Maybe none of the traditional things that we're conditioned to prioritize are important to you and you just haven't found your personal currency.

I am sorry to hear of your struggles. I hope you feel a bit better by expressing them, at least.