Breakout92

Breakout92

Student
Mar 10, 2021
107
I've been sitting and reminiscing over some parts of my childhood lately. I lost so many things over the years that used to give me a sense of self and purpose.

I remember one of my friends had a younger sister. Whenever I would go over his house, the three of us would sit in their basement. My friend would play video games, and his sister and I would draw pictures or scenes from whatever we were watching him play. That was always so fun to me, I loved drawing. It had been years since I picked up a pencil to try to make art, but a few months ago I started trying to get back into it. I'm terrible now, and it makes me sad that I wasted probably 20 years not developing my artistic skills, but I do find it really fun to just sit and doodle whatever I've been dreaming up.

Similarly, when I was a kid I used to make all my own halloween costumes, and costumes for my sister and brother too. And also for other school events where we got to dress up, or just play costumes for my little brother when he wanted to play pretend as a knight. Sometimes I walk by my mom's sewing machine tucked away in the corner in their basement and think to myself where I'd be today had I not given that up. I'd probably be into cosplay or something today, which seems like a fun community and definitely a hobby I'd enjoy if I were still into it.

Just wondering how other people have experienced this kind of thing, losing their old favorite hobbies. Can you rekindle those old experiences? Does it help, is it worth it?
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
I can relate.

Depression, growing up and suicidal thoughts make us lose some hobbies we used to enjoy lots.

For instance, I used to play football twice a week and I felt so happy.

However, I think finding NEW hobbies is the best way to beat depression.
Sure, it's really difficult to be motivated to do ANYTHING when you're suicidal but if you search deeply, something might show up.

In my case, my current hobby is learning languages. It's helping me lots and keeping my mind busy helps me to think less about suicide.

Anyway, ctb will always be on my mind and I might even ctb impulsively some day, just like yesterday when I was really suicidal.
 
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Breakout92

Breakout92

Student
Mar 10, 2021
107
I can relate.

Depression, growing up and suicidal thoughts make us lose some hobbies we used to enjoy lots.

For instance, I used to play football twice a week and I felt so happy.

However, I think finding NEW hobbies is the best way to beat depression.
Sure, it's really difficult to be motivated to do ANYTHING when you're suicidal but if you search deeply, something might show up.

In my case, my current hobby is learning languages. It's helping me lots and keeping my mind busy helps me to think less about suicide.

Anyway, ctb will always be on my mind and I might even ctb impulsively some day, just like yesterday when I was really suicidal.
Language learning is very cool. I have been taking a German language class recently and was thinking about picking up a children's novel or something similar in that language. I do find it quite fun, and it definitely was not something I had as a hobby in my youth!

You might be onto something that a new hobby is the key. Like I said in my post, sometimes thinking about the lost years of not developing my drawing skills makes me more depressed even though I find it fun. With something new I couldn't wallow in regret.
 
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WhiteDespair

WhiteDespair

The Temporary Problem is Life
Oct 24, 2019
837
I lost my old hobbies as well. I haven't figured out that yet.

However, I've been under more of the idea that those past hobbies are just that - in the past - and I need new hobbies instead.

Been watching Tokyo Ghoul lately and I've been enjoying it. It's half new and half old.
 
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Carrotcake

Carrotcake

Experienced
Nov 27, 2019
265
As my depression started in my early teens, that was the last time I actually enjoyed doing anything. I had so many hobby's, so many things to be excited about. So many ambitions, passions. I lost all of them.
 
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Breakout92

Breakout92

Student
Mar 10, 2021
107
I lost my old hobbies as well. I haven't figured out that yet.

However, I've been under more of the idea that those past hobbies are just that - in the past - and I need new hobbies instead.

Been watching Tokyo Ghoul lately and I've been enjoying it. It's half new and half old.
I hadn't really thought about TV and movies as a hobby, but truthfully I stopped watching TV around the same time as I lost these other two hobbies I mentioned in the first post, so you might be on to something there too. It's good that you've found something that you can enjoy.

As my depression started in my early teens, that was the last time I actually enjoyed doing anything. I had so many hobby's, so many things to be excited about. So many ambitions, passions. I lost all of them.
That's so sad :(. Depression really sucks the soul out of everything.

I am not sure whether my depression was caused by my hobbies being forcefully taken from me, or whether the depression caused me to lose my hobbies. My parents took me out of art classes when I was 11 or so because they wanted me to focus more on athletics. I wasn't happy about that but I wasn't the type of kid to complain. But that coincides with when I started to feel depressed. It could have gone either way.
 
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Avyn

Avyn

Experienced
Jan 27, 2021
223
I lost all of my hobbies, doing the things now that I liked in the past feels more like a chore, not like an enjoyment..
 
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Breakout92

Breakout92

Student
Mar 10, 2021
107
I lost all of my hobbies, doing the things now that I liked in the past feels more like a chore, not like an enjoyment..
Occasionally I do feel like that. When I pick up the pencil with a blank sheet of paper in front of me I'll think to myself "why am I forcing myself to do this, I'm just making myself feel obligated to try something even if I might not enjoy it". This is so sad
 
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WhiteDespair

WhiteDespair

The Temporary Problem is Life
Oct 24, 2019
837
I hadn't really thought about TV and movies as a hobby, but truthfully I stopped watching TV around the same time as I lost these other two hobbies I mentioned in the first post, so you might be on to something there too. It's good that you've found something that you can enjoy.


That's so sad :(. Depression really sucks the soul out of everything.

I am not sure whether my depression was caused by my hobbies being forcefully taken from me, or whether the depression caused me to lose my hobbies. My parents took me out of art classes when I was 11 or so because they wanted me to focus more on athletics. I wasn't happy about that but I wasn't the type of kid to complain. But that coincides with when I started to feel depressed. It could have gone either way.
I think the loss of hobbies due to depression is the interaction between hobbies no longer satisfying and depression killing your interest. So, the hobby no longer makes you happy and depression kills the desire to pursue the hobby. It's a nice cycle.

I know I've dropped hobbies this way. I stopped playing video games in Jan because they weren't doing anything and depression prevented me from even wanting to play them.
 
raison_d'etre

raison_d'etre

a memory
Mar 30, 2021
29
i relate, i used to make music but havent made any in ages, last song i made was 45 seconds as a 4 year anniversary gift for my S.O, although the loss of most of my hobbies arent too much loss of interest, mostly motivation and health issues, heart palpitations, seziures etc, i used to be pretty interested in web development and whatnot but lost the brain cells capable of doing so, might be holding myself back idk, when i was little i had so many dreams. i read somewhere on here awhile ago, that its my job to make those dreams i had as a child into reality, life let me down then but i guess it doesnt mean i have to stay this way
 
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Breakout92

Breakout92

Student
Mar 10, 2021
107
I think the loss of hobbies due to depression is the interaction between hobbies no longer satisfying and depression killing your interest. So, the hobby no longer makes you happy and depression kills the desire to pursue the hobby. It's a nice cycle.

I know I've dropped hobbies this way. I stopped playing video games in Jan because they weren't doing anything and depression prevented me from even wanting to play them.
It's such a tragic cycle. Getting older really does ruin lives.
I have been the same way recently when it comes to video games. A friend tried to get me to play something online with her, and I just hated every second of it even though I used to love the game. Now I just watch my brother play single player games as entertainment.

i relate, i used to make music but havent made any in ages, last song i made was 45 seconds as a 4 year anniversary gift for my S.O, although the loss of most of my hobbies arent too much loss of interest, mostly motivation and health issues, heart palpitations, seziures etc, i used to be pretty interested in web development and whatnot but lost the brain cells capable of doing so, might be holding myself back idk, when i was little i had so many dreams. i read somewhere on here awhile ago, that its my job to make those dreams i had as a child into reality, life let me down then but i guess it doesnt mean i have to stay this way
I miss making music as well, although I only ever performed in the school band rather than making my own music like you describe. I certainly relate to the health problems you describe though. I have heart problems and seizures as well that can sap all my motivation for a day.
Childhood me would be so disappointed that I never became a professional artist like I dreamed of.
 
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UseItOrLoseIt

UseItOrLoseIt

1O'8
Dec 4, 2020
2,217
I used to get so into stuff! I was passionate. Now I'm just mental. Depression lobotomized me. My main hobby now is trying not to space out momentarily.
 
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WhiteDespair

WhiteDespair

The Temporary Problem is Life
Oct 24, 2019
837
It's such a tragic cycle. Getting older really does ruin lives.
I have been the same way recently when it comes to video games. A friend tried to get me to play something online with her, and I just hated every second of it even though I used to love the game. Now I just watch my brother play single player games as entertainment.


I miss making music as well, although I only ever performed in the school band rather than making my own music like you describe. I certainly relate to the health problems you describe though. I have heart problems and seizures as well that can sap all my motivation for a day.
Childhood me would be so disappointed that I never became a professional artist like I dreamed of.
Same here. I watch video games on Twitch. You do have a friend though so there's a positive there.
 
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Breakout92

Breakout92

Student
Mar 10, 2021
107
I used to get so into stuff! I was passionate. Now I'm just mental. Depression lobotomized me. My main hobby now is trying not to space out momentarily.
I have nothing to offer except that I can relate and my heart goes out to you. It is so sad what this world becomes for so many of us.

Same here. I watch video games on Twitch. You do have a friend though so there's a positive there.
That is true, and thank you for the reminder. I'm grateful to have her, she is one of my only friends apart from my siblings. Sometimes I forget that I should feel blessed to have anyone try to reach out to me. Even though I do find it hard to respond properly.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,034
I too have abandoned my art hobby. Growing up I loved to draw, though I never considered myself that amazing I had lots of support from most people in my life so I assumed that meant I should have been able to make a career out of it. What a fool I was.

In my first year of university I became an animation major because I love cartoons and always wanted to make my own so I thought I could make that a reality. As it turned out, I suck at drawing. I only doodled in class because it was an easy way to avoid having to pay attention to anything else in school. I hated drawing just as much as anything else when I was actually learning about it. Plus the animation field is very competitive too. My school was supposed to be good for this major too with lots of people in this major getting jobs at a whole bunch of famous places. The pressure got to be too much for me one day when I had to draw a scene from my room. I fell asleep through it and woke up too late to class so I just stopped showing up.

I dropped out of college for about two years only to get back into a different university and a different major later on. Even still in those classes I also avoided actually learning by doodling shit. I would draw drafts for comics, some of which I've even published on my Facebook to a really small audience. A lot of them were just about how much I hate myself or the various nightmares pervading my mind and being controlled by former love interests.

A couple years ago I got an iPad and an Apple Pencil and even bought Procreate for fun. Since I don't go out much anymore and already finished school though I've stopped needing to draw at all because I'm too depressed to even briefly doodle anymore these days and my iPad gets exclusively used for binging shows now.
 
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WhiteDespair

WhiteDespair

The Temporary Problem is Life
Oct 24, 2019
837
You're welcome. A friend and siblings is a good combination to have. I have them but I forget that I do : (

If you work at interpersonal relationships they'll get easier, especially with responding and having conversations.

Try reading How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It has a lot of good information.
 
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BeansOfRequirement

BeansOfRequirement

Behind the guilt was compassion
Jan 26, 2021
5,747
All of my hobbies are gone, but I picked up lifting and SS at least. I want to make melee weapons but my parents said I can't have a forge in my room.
 
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UseItOrLoseIt

UseItOrLoseIt

1O'8
Dec 4, 2020
2,217
I have nothing to offer except that I can relate and my heart goes out to you. It is so sad what this world becomes for so many of us.
It is what it is. Don't worry :hug: I'm just glad I found a community where I can have a voice and hear that I'm not alone.

This whole forum, from concept to execution, is an offering of understanding and compassion.
 
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Breakout92

Breakout92

Student
Mar 10, 2021
107
I too have abandoned my art hobby. Growing up I loved to draw, though I never considered myself that amazing I had lots of support from most people in my life so I assumed that meant I should have been able to make a career out of it. What a fool I was.

In my first year of university I became an animation major because I love cartoons and always wanted to make my own so I thought I could make that a reality. As it turned out, I suck at drawing. I only doodled in class because it was an easy way to avoid having to pay attention to anything else in school. I hated drawing just as much as anything else when I was actually learning about it. Plus the animation field is very competitive too. My school was supposed to be good for this major too with lots of people in this major getting jobs at a whole bunch of famous places. The pressure got to be too much for me one day when I had to draw a scene from my room. I fell asleep through it and woke up too late to class so I just stopped showing up.

I dropped out of college for about two years only to get back into a different university and a different major later on. Even still in those classes I also avoided actually learning by doodling shit. I would draw drafts for comics, some of which I've even published on my Facebook to a really small audience. A lot of them were just about how much I hate myself or the various nightmares pervading my mind and being controlled by former love interests.

A couple years ago I got an iPad and an Apple Pencil and even bought Procreate for fun. Since I don't go out much anymore and already finished school though I've stopped needing to draw at all because I'm too depressed to even briefly doodle anymore these days and my iPad gets exclusively used for binging shows now.
I feel like the stresses of trying to turn a hobby into a career isn't for everyone. I'm impressed by anyone who manages to make a career out of what they love, but it's sadly so incredibly rare. I hope you can find enjoyment in it someday again. You don't have to be good at something to enjoy it, I've learned.

You're welcome. A friend and siblings is a good combination to have. I have them but I forget that I do : (

If you work at interpersonal relationships they'll get easier, especially with responding and having conversations.

Try reading How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. It has a lot of good information.
Thanks for the recommendation! I think my problem is more that I let anxiety/depression do the talking for me, but that's a whole different problem that I need to work on.

All of my hobbies are gone, but I picked up lifting and SS at least. I want to make melee weapons but my parents said I can't have a forge in my room.
That's very cool. They say fitness helps with depression, but it never has for me.
I've seen videos of people who do at-home blacksmithing and it's really impressive. It's an ancient art form by today's standards but is really cool.

It is what it is. Don't worry :hug: I'm just glad I found a community where I can have a voice and hear that I'm not alone.

This whole forum, from concept to execution, is an offering of understanding and compassion.
I agree. There's nowhere else in the world where I can be so open. The culture here is wonderful.
 
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WhiteDespair

WhiteDespair

The Temporary Problem is Life
Oct 24, 2019
837
I feel like the stresses of trying to turn a hobby into a career isn't for everyone. I'm impressed by anyone who manages to make a career out of what they love, but it's sadly so incredibly rare. I hope you can find enjoyment in it someday again. You don't have to be good at something to enjoy it, I've learned.


Thanks for the recommendation! I think my problem is more that I let anxiety/depression do the talking for me, but that's a whole different problem that I need to work on.


That's very cool. They say fitness helps with depression, but it never has for me.
I've seen videos of people who do at-home blacksmithing and it's really impressive. It's an ancient art form by today's standards but is really cool.


I agree. There's nowhere else in the world where I can be so open. The culture here is wonderful.
That is a tough challenge. I know I don't want to talk when I am depressed. Not sure about anxiety though. There has to be some tricks and tips to make it easier.
 
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Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
21,034
I feel like the stresses of trying to turn a hobby into a career isn't for everyone. I'm impressed by anyone who manages to make a career out of what they love, but it's sadly so incredibly rare. I hope you can find enjoyment in it someday again. You don't have to be good at something to enjoy it, I've learned.
True. I just don't have any drive to improve or even do any of it at the moment unfortunately...
 
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Makko

Makko

Iä!
Jan 17, 2021
2,430
I used to paint, sing, play viola and write short stories since about age 5. Everyone thought I was very talented. Then at age 11 I moved to the other end of the globe and had to drop everything. More than just losing hobbies, I think that was the time I mostly died inside, everything I enjoyed to do was taken away from me, suddenly and forever.
 
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Breakout92

Breakout92

Student
Mar 10, 2021
107
I used to paint, sing, play viola and write short stories since about age 5. Everyone thought I was very talented. Then at age 11 I moved to the other end of the globe and had to drop everything. More than just losing hobbies, I think that was the time I mostly died inside, everything I enjoyed to do was taken away from me, suddenly and forever.
Even as an adult, moving is terrifying and stressful. I can't imagine going through that as a child. It's no wonder you lost all that :(.
 
Cherry Crumpet

Cherry Crumpet

Hiraeth
May 7, 2018
271
I can relate so deeply to this. As a teenager/young20 I used to draw all the time. I loved it. Then when my mood started going down the drain, my interest in these things went along with it. What makes me feel extra shitty is that I know part of it was being sheltered as a kid and thinking I was really good at art.. and then realizing as an adult I was average. It kind of killed my desire. It seems really pathetic.. why would that bother me? But it did/does.
 
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TessB

Warlock
Oct 13, 2020
743
I've well and truly lost horse riding. I spent years doing it and competed as a teenager in events and went to gymkhanas and all that stuff. I had my own pony but now if I tried to do it I'd probably kill the poor horse by sitting on it just through having such a fat ass.. I miss it a lot though.
 
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Breakout92

Breakout92

Student
Mar 10, 2021
107
I can relate so deeply to this. As a teenager/young20 I used to draw all the time. I loved it. Then when my mood started going down the drain, my interest in these things went along with it. What makes me feel extra shitty is that I know part of it was being sheltered as a kid and thinking I was really good at art.. and then realizing as an adult I was average. It kind of killed my desire. It seems really pathetic.. why would that bother me? But it did/does.
That burned me hard when I went off to college. The only childhood hobby I had left at that point was music, and my high school orchestra instructor always praised me so highly. Then I dropped out of orchestra in university after a month because I was so bad compared to everyone else. It was so demotivating.

I've well and truly lost horse riding. I spent years doing it and competed as a teenager in events and went to gymkhanas and all that stuff. I had my own pony but now if I tried to do it I'd probably kill the poor horse by sitting on it just through having such a fat ass.. I miss it a lot though.
I've only been horseback riding once, for a friend's birthday party in the 4th grade. It was pretty fun! But I never tried it again after that. I'd love to go volunteer at a farm or sanctuary and care for animals like horses or cows. They're beautiful animals.
 
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