Help Loss of identity help?

[Hhhhhh]

Hi I'm new here. I feel like I've completely lost my identity and what made me unique as a person. I was always an abnormal kid and had really intense slightly psychotic anxiety and depression. However I was always able to have my art and my anxious identity to fall back on. I was doing amazing a year ago ( even tho i still had intense social anxiety). Then i fucked it up and started questioning everything about myself and how i saw things because i thought it meant i was a narcissist because I was so disconnected from social norms. Turns out the norms I was disconnected from actually sucked but now they've completely replaced the originality that used to be me. I've lost all interest in things I used to care about and I cant remember the feelings associated with them. Everything feels like how normal people feel now including their bigotry and prejeduice. My sex drive is gone completely (I started hrt because I thought it would help but I think it made me worse unfortunately) and things I used to think were good I can now only see as bad. I dont have anxiety anymore I just feel evil and blank like a cop or something. I'm too ambivalent and it feels like all the social development I spent my life on has disappeared and I'm left with an anhedonia normal person. I rly shouldn't have beaten myself up so bad and I cant live like this bland person. Most people with anhedonia dont like it because it makes them unable to care for their baby or w,/e or they cant enjoy bad music anymore. My anhedia is making me see things like everyone else because I viciously tore down my own identity) Anyone experience something like this? I want to die so bad it's like torture becoming normal and I tried too jump off the lions gate bridge yesterday but it was too tall and my si kicked in HARD. sorry about the rant

 

[SettOne1994]

Bigotry and prejeduice comes only from the side of the river you wouldnt want to stay anyway. By weak and evil people who are jealous. This life to be honest you must know though, this kind of problem can come from a close friend or relative one not happy day and your job is to forgive make them notice their behaviour and put him in his position again as his true identity.As for those who are evil this applys the same but in this case you might deal with people who are rude etc so physical interference might be required.....Dont let your fear trick you as they are ruthless but weak and unorganized people.... ( in case of fear of physical combat...) Besides that its all mental accept others when they do wrong and its easy to escape bigotry an prejeduice. Its also reccomended a strong sense of will(identity) to know who you are and where you want to go , this is done by acting with justice and working in your life. Then when someone comes to challenge your self identity you know what youve done before that encounter so thats why many religions talk about faith ( besides knowledge). It also comes from the desire to that thing you want to go and become. So past deeds with present desire for future position ( or identity).

I believe many of those who suffer from suicidal thoughts have that same sense of identity lowered to the point of shame and demoralization.....im there too
The force of identity may as well be the same force we took and made the choice to be born in this plane of existence we call Earth...Then that strong will to be matured into love....if you look chakras identity is stored in 3d chakra and heart on 4th.
Loosing identity can come from weak jealous people criticizing or you not acting in the face of opression . Both cases which are stupid if you think about it .First requires a strong sense of oneself ( you know what you have done regarding good deeds and what you are) and the second just demands you to act in any physical form to stop that person from stealing your energy your standing ground etc.... Evil people have only strong sense of identity but never seem to know where they are and what they are doing... But you are there to show them passively or not that they are wrong and that there is light on the other side.... So by combating the evil and even more by embracing that evil soul who in the end was just another one of us who wanted to end their lifes maybe you break free from those illusions. Myself im going through shit i know all the data i think on this one but i dont seem to accept it in my self to take this kind of job of embracing everyone regardless or playing ping pong if my life is threatened.....



This sex drive problem you sayed its killing me , both as im repressing my needs and also because i think that even suicide might not epnd this and other problems and i might just return to become a rapist or pedophile? i think about reincarnation with much despair and hatred but to be honest none of us want to die we all want to keep living.....We want bad people out of our lifes that its ..not just all people... And this is so easy when you start seeing evil people as small evil murderers who just try to make it through and they are lost and deep inside they want a family and success just like you....

I dont know what anhedia is i have strong anxiety myself too though and that can be eliminated with what i sayed before....besides faith hope must be there too........You get your identity by work a desire for human contact and realisation of what your fears are made of ...or better what your fearful enemy is made of . And besides will to survive and strong self of egoism he is made of fear and life consuming hatred. But also ancient desire to belong somewhere and a place to call home....If also you can recall moments of success in your life this can empower to get your identity back myself it turns hard as i have been an awful thief and some intentions and plans on murdering raping i had as a kid which show me a person i would never want to be a weak oppresive person without morals..

 

[Hhhhhh]

I

Bigotry and prejeduice comes only from the side of the river you wouldnt want to stay anyway. By weak and evil people who are jealous. This life to be honest you must know though, this kind of problem can come from a close friend or relative one not happy day and your job is to forgive make them notice their behaviour and put him in his position again as his true identity.As for those who are evil this applys the same but in this case you might deal with people who are rude etc so physical interference might be required.....Dont let your fear trick you as they are ruthless but weak and unorganized people.... ( in case of fear of physical combat...) Besides that its all mental accept others when they do wrong and its easy to escape bigotry an prejeduice. Its also reccomended a strong sense of will(identity) to know who you are and where you want to go , this is done by acting with justice and working in your life. Then when someone comes to challenge your self identity you know what youve done before that encounter so thats why many religions talk about faith ( besides knowledge). It also comes from the desire to that thing you want to go and become. So past deeds with present desire for future position ( or identity).

I believe many of those who suffer from suicidal thoughts have that same sense of identity lowered to the point of shame and demoralization.....im there too
The force of identity may as well be the same force we took and made the choice to be born in this plane of existence we call Earth...Then that strong will to be matured into love....if you look chakras identity is stored in 3d chakra and heart on 4th.
Loosing identity can come from weak jealous people criticizing or you not acting in the face of opression . Both cases which are stupid if you think about it .First requires a strong sense of oneself ( you know what you have done regarding good deeds and what you are) and the second just demands you to act in any physical form to stop that person from stealing your energy your standing ground etc.... Evil people have only strong sense of identity but never seem to know where they are and what they are doing... But you are there to show them passively or not that they are wrong and that there is light on the other side.... So by combating the evil and even more by embracing that evil soul who in the end was just another one of us who wanted to end their lifes maybe you break free from those illusions. Myself im going through shit i know all the data i think on this one but i dont seem to accept it in my self to take this kind of job of embracing everyone regardless or playing ping pong if my life is threatened.....



This sex drive problem you sayed its killing me , both as im repressing my needs and also because i think that even suicide might not epnd this and other problems and i might just return to become a rapist or pedophile? i think about reincarnation with much despair and hatred but to be honest none of us want to die we all want to keep living.....We want bad people out of our lifes that its ..not just all people... And this is so easy when you start seeing evil people as small evil murderers who just try to make it through and they are lost and deep inside they want a family and success just like you....

I dont know what anhedia is i have strong anxiety myself too though and that can be eliminated with what i sayed before....besides faith hope must be there too........You get your identity by work a desire for human contact and realisation of what your fears are made of ...or better what your fearful enemy is made of . And besides will to survive and strong self of egoism he is made of fear and life consuming hatred. But also ancient desire to belong somewhere and a place to call home....If also you can recall moments of success in your life this can empower to get your identity back myself it turns hard as i have been an awful thief and some intentions and plans on murdering raping i had as a kid which show me a person i would never want to be a weak oppresive person without morals..

I dont feel anxiety anymore which sucks. I think I used to see certain traits that I admired which made me anxious because I valued those things so strongly. Now the things I admire are social norms (in the past I thought people who believed in those things were ignorant but well intentioned now I think they're huge assholes and are boring because I am one now)

 

[SettOne1994]

I

I dont feel anxiety anymore which sucks. I think I used to see certain traits that I admired which made me anxious because I valued those things so strongly. Now the things I admire are social norms (in the past I thought people who believed in those things were ignorant but well intentioned now I think they're huge assholes and are boring because I am one now)

no my friend if you see human nature in medieval times etc they burned people alive those who value social norms know exactly what they are talking about....besides our lifes would be made of drugs and sex and alcohol if it wasnt for those people....no family or friendship whatsoever
fear is one anxiety is another shame is something i have all of them depending the moment and the situation.....all those inhibit the ability to really take or give with others beings..
how come not having anxiety sucks?

 

[Hhhhhh]

no my friend if you see human nature in medieval times etc they burned people alive those who value social norms know exactly what they are talking about....besides our lifes would be made of drugs and sex and alcohol if it wasnt for those people....no family or friendship whatsoever
fear is one anxiety is another shame is something i have all of them depending the moment and the situation.....all those inhibit the ability to really take or give with others beings..

People back then had no control they didnt know any better. Society made them that way but that's just my opinion.

 

[SettOne1994]

People back then had no control they didnt know any better. Society made them that way but that's just my opinion.

Society impacts too but also weak people who may aswell live among us today can go in such teribble acts man....I have seen it in myself complete numbness in ones feelings can make someone go on and boil someone else alive without regards to anything....Its weak human nature that exists today too...Its only some international laws preventing these the actors behind it are still there maybe. And even that doesnt stop it if you go and put yourself in some cartel with such ignorant people who will skin you alive...... Regardless of period of time ( if newly borned souls come in this planet....if not then your saying that we evolved might make more sense)

 

[Ange_Fatigue]

Have you tried following a médical treatment ? I know psychotic symptoms could be hard top bear without any chemical helpers. I wish you the well being you deserve.

 

[Hhhhhh]

Have you tried following a médical treatment ? I know psychotic symptoms could be hard top bear without any chemical helpers. I wish you the well being you deserve.

My grandfather's brother had psychosis so I'm looking into it. Also lowering my hrt a bit. Other than that I have nothing

 

[Ange_Fatigue]

Please give it a chance, it may really improve your quality of life