Lara Francis
Enlightened
- Jun 30, 2018
- 1,627
I think as a suicidal person,i do not believe many actually want to die but just want our pain and suffering to end.
We may have tried everything in the past and have only been left with this realistic option because everything else has failed.
This is no bad relection on our efforts.
I dont think there is any shame in admitting that you gave life your all and it was just not enough.
I am very pro choice and believe its a personnel and individual choice that should be respected.
I dont know why i had to say all that as its not what i was going to say but i feel better for venting.
I feel that alot of things in my life ,such as choices,decisions and parental responsibilities have been taken away from me leaving me to feel empty,cold,lonely,worthless and finally helpless as a mum and individual.
I am no control freak but today i felt like the only thing i had control over was myself and as someone trying to lose weight,the food going into my mouth.
I have lost over a stone in a month through heathier eating but now i dont know whats happening because i have no desire to eat.i feel ok physically but am crippled with anxiety and depresson and my thoughts are intentions are all over the place.
I did briefy develop an eating disorder in my late teens which was because of a false belief that i was over weight when i wasnt but i feel like this a control thing or my minds attempt to give up on life even more than before.
I am so stressed,my friends know i am not in a great place and the thought of any hospitalisation is OUT!
I am not going back inside.No police,ambulances or doctors.
Thanks for reading my crap.x
We may have tried everything in the past and have only been left with this realistic option because everything else has failed.
This is no bad relection on our efforts.
I dont think there is any shame in admitting that you gave life your all and it was just not enough.
I am very pro choice and believe its a personnel and individual choice that should be respected.
I dont know why i had to say all that as its not what i was going to say but i feel better for venting.
I feel that alot of things in my life ,such as choices,decisions and parental responsibilities have been taken away from me leaving me to feel empty,cold,lonely,worthless and finally helpless as a mum and individual.
I am no control freak but today i felt like the only thing i had control over was myself and as someone trying to lose weight,the food going into my mouth.
I have lost over a stone in a month through heathier eating but now i dont know whats happening because i have no desire to eat.i feel ok physically but am crippled with anxiety and depresson and my thoughts are intentions are all over the place.
I did briefy develop an eating disorder in my late teens which was because of a false belief that i was over weight when i wasnt but i feel like this a control thing or my minds attempt to give up on life even more than before.
I am so stressed,my friends know i am not in a great place and the thought of any hospitalisation is OUT!
I am not going back inside.No police,ambulances or doctors.
Thanks for reading my crap.x
