Venting Loosing faith in Christianity

[Sk1rtd4b]

This is a pretty sensitive subject for me as people around me are very Christian and would probably look down upon me for this, but I just can't understand why I have followed this religion my whole life and not once has God made himself known to me. Especially now, when I am approaching the day I will kill myself later this month and I have not gotten some kind of sign from God to keep going. I'm not asking for a miracle but maybe if he made himself known to me somehow and someway where there's just no denying it to me maybe then could I have a fighting chance. The current state I am in is pretty much my suicide is set in stone unless something crazy happens where everything suddenly just gets better which we all know won't happen. I mean even if I was to get everything I need I still don't see these thoughts leaving my head as I've been cursed with them pretty much my whole "conscious" life. Pretty much I just don't understand why God has let it go on for this long, even if by some miracle I don't end up killing myself later this month, it will still leave unforgettable memories in my head of this period. If anyone is like big on Christianity here, please, try to answer this question for me as much as you can because obviously there's not certain answer to a question like this.

 

[axab43]

This is a pretty sensitive subject for me as people around me are very Christian and would probably look down upon me for this, but I just can't understand why I have followed this religion my whole life and not once has God made himself known to me. Especially now, when I am approaching the day I will kill myself later this month and I have not gotten some kind of sign from God to keep going. I'm not asking for a miracle but maybe if he made himself known to me somehow and someway where there's just no denying it to me maybe then could I have a fighting chance. The current state I am in is pretty much my suicide is set in stone unless something crazy happens where everything suddenly just gets better which we all know won't happen. I mean even if I was to get everything I need I still don't see these thoughts leaving my head as I've been cursed with them pretty much my whole "conscious" life. Pretty much I just don't understand why God has let it go on for this long, even if by some miracle I don't end up killing myself later this month, it will still leave unforgettable memories in my head of this period. If anyone is like big on Christianity here, please, try to answer this question for me as much as you can because obviously there's not certain answer to a question like this.

I am a Christian and I understand your question. I am in the same position. a little. I have seen too many negative things happen and question a lot of things. But I also have seen a lot of God's intervention in my life that cannot just be explained away (I'm not stupid or easily led. These things were unexplainable.) You don't have to have perfect faith all the time. Have you been part of a church or do you know a church leader to go and talk to about your situation? If the people around you look down on you for your questions, you need different Christians around you. Even in the Bible it is full of people with questions, so there is no need for anyone to look down on you if you have some.

 

[Ihoujin]

Christianity imo explains the truth but it's tricky, easily to misinterpret.

The problem with religion is that you identify as a Christian, you look at the state of the world as a Christian. You look through the lenses of your community and you are pressured by it.

There are no Christians afaik. These are just labels needed in order to communicate between themselves. Like even your name isn't yours but was given by your parents. The very name someone made up before and is shared by other people too. You feel me? If you negate your name then who are you? You can deny Christianity but can you deny your existence? It unfolds naturally.

If Christianity is true then there is no obligation to follow it. There is no need of getting an antoher label. It will unfold naturally.

We are same people sharing basic need for shelter, food and defecation. The rest is an addition, a delusion cut by death.

Would be nice to discover what connects all us people.

 

[Why did they do it]

I grew up Catholic, not very devout, and I don't practice it now. But, I wish that my words can give you some sense of comfort.

From reading your post, I wanna say that I am sorry for your situation. It sounds tough, I can appreciate feeling the need for a sign to give you strength.
I think many people struggle with the calling. Those with it tend to exude a sense of unshakeable faith that most tend to want.
From what I can tell, humans need proof, some kind of evidence that they are on the right path. Not everyone gets that calling, and that is okay. We find strength in what we can. We're Human.
My father was a devout Catholic, he never pushed his faith or beliefs on anyone, but every day he prayed in the morning, and evening. Always went to church, prayed and then left. I think adhering to that gave him strength, whatever he said during his prayers allowed him to carry on with his day despite what happens.
From a layman's perspective and experience, religion is old, complex, and just a massive sprawling culture.
But, most of the folks I went to church with came to listen to the pastor's witty jokes and stories.
They came for the comfort of community and understanding. They went every Sunday, Saturday, or whenever for the after mass snacks and conversation.
They didn't go to adhere to centuries old traditions or to tithe. (No one likes having the baskets shoved into their faces)
They went to sing hymns, laugh, pray, and meet their besties for an hour or so.

If Christianity isn't working in the way it is for you, it is okay to change. It is okay to pick the parts that will work for you to give you the strength to carry on if that is the path you choose in life.
Spirituality and Religious legalism aren't the same thing. I'd advise you to rely on the members of your community that will understand, if you feel comfortable.
Not everyone has found their faith, and not everyone has had a perfect life. In fostering a sense of community with those who understand, you might be able find God's grace in it. And if not, that is okay too.
It is nice to know that there are others around you who understand. Also, many parishes, and churches will have programs that are designed and often led by people who have personal experience with situation like yours. There is no shame in asking for help when you need it. A lot of us who look to religion are damaged and vulnerable too.

I wish you the best of luck friend.

 

[Sk1rtd4b]

I am a Christian and I understand your question. I am in the same position. a little. I have seen too many negative things happen and question a lot of things. But I also have seen a lot of God's intervention in my life that cannot just be explained away (I'm not stupid or easily led. These things were unexplainable.) You don't have to have perfect faith all the time. Have you been part of a church or do you know a church leader to go and talk to about your situation? If the people around you look down on you for your questions, you need different Christians around you. Even in the Bible it is full of people with questions, so there is no need for anyone to look down on you if you have some.

It was just pure assumption that they would look down on it. I do have a church leader I could reach out to and I have considered it the past

I grew up Catholic, not very devout, and I don't practice it now. But, I wish that my words can give you some sense of comfort.

From reading your post, I wanna say that I am sorry for your situation. It sounds tough, I can appreciate feeling the need for a sign to give you strength.
I think many people struggle with the calling. Those with it tend to exude a sense of unshakeable faith that most tend to want.
From what I can tell, humans need proof, some kind of evidence that they are on the right path. Not everyone gets that calling, and that is okay. We find strength in what we can. We're Human.
My father was a devout Catholic, he never pushed his faith or beliefs on anyone, but every day he prayed in the morning, and evening. Always went to church, prayed and then left. I think adhering to that gave him strength, whatever he said during his prayers allowed him to carry on with his day despite what happens.
From a layman's perspective and experience, religion is old, complex, and just a massive sprawling culture.
But, most of the folks I went to church with came to listen to the pastor's witty jokes and stories.
They came for the comfort of community and understanding. They went every Sunday, Saturday, or whenever for the after mass snacks and conversation.
They didn't go to adhere to centuries old traditions or to tithe. (No one likes having the baskets shoved into their faces)
They went to sing hymns, laugh, pray, and meet their besties for an hour or so.

If Christianity isn't working in the way it is for you, it is okay to change. It is okay to pick the parts that will work for you to give you the strength to carry on if that is the path you choose in life.
Spirituality and Religious legalism aren't the same thing. I'd advise you to rely on the members of your community that will understand, if you feel comfortable.
Not everyone has found their faith, and not everyone has had a perfect life. In fostering a sense of community with those who understand, you might be able find God's grace in it. And if not, that is okay too.
It is nice to know that there are others around you who understand.

I wish you the best of luck friend.

Thanks for this, helping me look at it from a way different perspective.

 

[katara]

I grew up Catholic, not very devout, and I don't practice it now. But, I wish that my words can give you some sense of comfort.

From reading your post, I wanna say that I am sorry for your situation. It sounds tough, I can appreciate feeling the need for a sign to give you strength.
I think many people struggle with the calling. Those with it tend to exude a sense of unshakeable faith that most tend to want.
From what I can tell, humans need proof, some kind of evidence that they are on the right path. Not everyone gets that calling, and that is okay. We find strength in what we can. We're Human.
My father was a devout Catholic, he never pushed his faith or beliefs on anyone, but every day he prayed in the morning, and evening. Always went to church, prayed and then left. I think adhering to that gave him strength, whatever he said during his prayers allowed him to carry on with his day despite what happens.
From a layman's perspective and experience, religion is old, complex, and just a massive sprawling culture.
But, most of the folks I went to church with came to listen to the pastor's witty jokes and stories.
They came for the comfort of community and understanding. They went every Sunday, Saturday, or whenever for the after mass snacks and conversation.
They didn't go to adhere to centuries old traditions or to tithe. (No one likes having the baskets shoved into their faces)
They went to sing hymns, laugh, pray, and meet their besties for an hour or so.

If Christianity isn't working in the way it is for you, it is okay to change. It is okay to pick the parts that will work for you to give you the strength to carry on if that is the path you choose in life.
Spirituality and Religious legalism aren't the same thing. I'd advise you to rely on the members of your community that will understand, if you feel comfortable.
Not everyone has found their faith, and not everyone has had a perfect life. In fostering a sense of community with those who understand, you might be able find God's grace in it. And if not, that is okay too.
It is nice to know that there are others around you who understand. Also, many parishes, and churches will have programs that are designed and often led by people who have personal experience with situation like yours. There is no shame in asking for help when you need it. A lot of us who look to religion are damaged and vulnerable too.

I wish you the best of luck friend.

You explained this pretty good. And as someone who was baptized Catholic but isn't one anymore, I'd agree with what you said.

 

[Kavka]

I'm sorry you're in a position where you're starting to lose faith. That's a big deal.

You could look up the problem of evil (or suffering) to see if you find any of the counter-arguments convincing.

I think one of the main arguments is that God gave people free will, so it's up to them now, because intervening would be a violation of that free will. From a scientific point of view, free will probably doesn't exist, and personally I think this is an unethical (and kinda lazy) way to treat your creation. I know a lot of people who have lost their religion and faith in God because they were in a similar situation and struggled with this dilemma. If you're part of a religious community and everyone around you is Christian, this can be really difficult.

This is just some unsolicited advice, so feel free to ignore it, but perhaps you could approach it with as much openness and curiosity as possible. Share your doubts with your close family to hear what they think, ask these questions at your church (leader), learn more about atheism and its arguments, explore other interpretations of the Bible and branches such as liberal Christianity.

Be really sceptical, because the Bible is filled to the brim with the most bizarre things, but also acknowledge the good things (e.g. Jesus) in it. I think it would be really unreasonable to look down on you, especially if you approached it with this mindset.

It's really difficult though, so good luck!

 

[Sk1rtd4b]

I'm sorry you're in a position where you're starting to lose faith. That's a big deal.

You could look up the problem of evil (or suffering) to see if you find any of the counter-arguments convincing.

I think one of the main arguments is that God gave people free will, so it's up to them now, because intervening would be a violation of that free will. From a scientific point of view, free will probably doesn't exist, and personally I think this is an unethical (and kinda lazy) way to treat your creation. I know a lot of people who have lost their religion and faith in God because they were in a similar situation and struggled with this dilemma. If you're part of a religious community and everyone around you is Christian, this can be really difficult.

This is just some unsolicited advice, so feel free to ignore it, but perhaps you could approach it with as much openness and curiosity as possible. Share your doubts with your close family to hear what they think, ask these questions at your church (leader), learn more about atheism and its arguments, explore other interpretations of the Bible and branches such as liberal Christianity.

Be really sceptical, because the Bible is filled to the brim with the most bizarre things, but also acknowledge the good things (e.g. Jesus) in it. I think it would be really unreasonable to look down on you, especially if you approached it with this mindset.

It's really difficult though, so good luck!

Appreciate the advice, I'll try and look into other branches of Christianity and study them because I have nothing else to do till then

 

[axab43]

It was just pure assumption that they would look down on it. I do have a church leader I could reach out to and I have considered it the past

Thanks for this, helping me look at it from a way different perspective.

I would definitely reach out to him, if you trust him. If you assume they may look down on this, you may be wrong. I've had some that do and some that don't. It depends who your church leader is and if you trust him.