Help Looking for niche(?) method

[youshouldntknowme]

I have no plan to CTB right now, but I've had so many mental breakdowns this year alone where I don't do anything to actually help myself afterwards, only setting myself up for another breakdown in a few days. The moment I have to get back into a job or school is the moment I'll really want to be gone, so I want a method to fall back on when that comes around. I'm done dragging out what won't change.
I'm looking for something with specifics. I want it to be quick so no one could recover me in a physically damaged state from the attempt, painless so my last thoughts aren't torturous (I have a theory that whatever you embrace in your last moments is what will greet you in the afterlife), clean so I don't leave a mess for other people to gross out over, and cheap (no work = no money).
I've observed this site and it seems to have reliable resources, so I put my trust in asking this personal question. If there isn't a method that's able to multitask these needs, what would be the closest thing I'd have to bargain with and plan around? I'm in the USA (NY) if that affects any of these criteria. Thanks.

 

[Zegers]

The closest thing to what you are looking for is N but unfortunately it is no longer available, the nearest would be SN but it is not as cheap.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

N or SN both cost money, N quite a bit of money. But, as said, it isn't available. Ropes are fairly cheap, I suppose, and can even be found in the garbage at times. Not sure about no pain with it, though. Shouldn't leave a mess. Maybe not torturous, but who am I to say since I've never tried it. It may not be quick, either, depending on your definition of quick. CO can be quick if done correctly, but, again, there are some costs associated with it in procuring the materials like charcoal, maybe a tent enclosure if you go that route, maybe some chimney starters, etc. Maybe best bet would be to secure a temporary job and save up a little money, and then re-think about methods and choose one that meets your criteria which would then be attainable.

 

[coyotestark]

At best you can meet three out of the four of your bullet points, reality is that you'll only be able to meet two. You may have to make a concession, on clean, and likely painless.

 

[justwanasleep]

I've found hanging seems to be the cheapest and least messy way to go but there's so many variables to get right. The right rope, the right anchor point and making sure no one finds you for a while so it fully works. It most likely won't be painless but its the best idea I have. Good luck

 

[ksp]

Suicide Methods

Sorted by: 1. Peacefulness, 2. Reliability vs Risks, 3. Availability

Method	Peaceful	Reliability	Availability	Speed	SI*	Legality
Nembutal	100 %	100 %	0 %	< 3 min	0 - sleep	0 %
Carfentanyl	100 %	100 %	10 % (street)	< 10 sec	0 - unaware	20 %
Fentanyl	100 %	70 %	20 % (street)	< 30 sec	0	20 %
Heroine	100 %	70 %	20 % (street)	< 1 min	0	0 %
Nitrogen	100 %	95 %	70 %	5 breaths	0 - coma	100 %
Helium	100 %	95 %	70 %	5 breaths	0	100 %
Crb Mnxide	90 %	95 %	70 %	<2 min	0	70 %
SN**	70 %	70 %	50 % (?)	20 min	discomfort	50 % (?)
Hanging	60 %	50 %	100 %	1 to 5 min	discomfort/pain	100 %
Tourniquet	60 %	50 %	100 %	1 to 5 min	discomfort	100 %
Nigh-Night	60 %	50 %	100 %	1 to 5 min	discomfort	100 %
Bleeding	50 %	50 %	100 %	> 1 hour	discomfort	100 %
Drowning	10 %	62 %	100 %	1 to 3 min	fighting SI	100 %

* SI = Survival Instinct / Fear
** SN = Sodium Nitrite

speed: until unconsciousness, unawareness, sleep, coma
- under 1 minute is very fast
- under 5 minutes is fast
- under 30 minutes is acceptable

reliability:
- requires no medical intervention until death
- failure usually implies brain and / or organ damage (long time care) after attempt
- brain damage ranges from temporary, to life time incapacity, to vegetative state
- organ damage implies tendon / nerve, kidney, liver, heart
- fentanyl, carfentanil, heroine implies very high purity

more info: suicide-methods (on this forum)

availability appears to be inversely proportional to peacefulness and reliability