Help Long time Lurker, first time user. Reliable SN Source besides DMC so I can leave this cruel world?

[testinggames143]

I've lost all my friends whether online or IRL

No matter how much I've tried to rekindle old friendships; I've realized I don't hold any value or matter to anyone.

Whether I live or die tommorow wouldn't make an impact on anymore nor cause any sorrow.

My depression and anxiety stems from years of bullying, poor homelife, and criticism for things I never did.

My health has declined and even though I've only told a handful of people who I once was closest or thought would care. It was just met with "Damn that sucks, take care!"

I've been wanting to end my life for 17 years. But for those 17 years, I've tried to keep pushing along. I've tried to keep my chin up and tell myself things will get better, people will be kinder, people will appreciate you as you get older.

All I see now really is how ugly the world truly can be.

I want to go now. I have nothing holding me back or anything to persuade me otherwise.

I know DMC's site however I'm hesitant for several reasons due to money, tariffs, and reliability of actual receiving the package. I know others have received from him but he isn't an actual business or credible source.

I'm in the United States, so if anyone is able to assist me in guidance, I would greatly appreciate it

 

[Lyn]

I'm really sorry you're feeling this way and that it brought you here.
It sounds like you've been carrying so much for so long.
I know words from a stranger might not mean much, but even if people around you haven't shown it the way you need, your pain and existence are heard and seen right now.

I can relate to a lot of what you are saying.
The bullying part, criticism, losing friends, reaching out, and getting nothing back... it really hits hard.
I've felt that too, the emptiness that comes with it.
And all this waiting, struggling and pushing for such a long time... I think that says something about you.
It's a heavy thing to carry for so long, and I know how it wears you down.
The world is a really cruel place to be.

I can't advise on the source though because I'm in the same boat and also hesitant about DMC.
But I just wanted to let you know you're not alone in feeling this way. I hear you.
I hope you'll find the peace that you are looking for. I wish you all the best.

 

[pointblank]

You might want to consider another source (FF). Need you to unlock your pm capability.

 

[testinggames143]

You might want to consider another source (FF). Need you to unlock your pm capability.

Guess I'll be stuck on this earth for awhile longer sadly. I haven't been able to clue any other sources besides DMC but he sounds like 50/50 chance and if you dont get your stuff, i dont want to be ghosted or be forced to just pay another $100 i dont have