I'm 19, my online boyfriend left me last year, I haven't been able to make a friend online since, I have hardly no confidence, feel depressed everyday. Im feeling so lonely I want to go out and socialise like people do but I'm scared I won't find anyone in real life either
Hemlock
gardener
- Nov 6, 2020
- 1,097
Hi @eleanorhere , I hope things get better for you and wish you confidence.
GenesAndEnvironment
Autistic loser
- Jan 26, 2021
- 5,739
Try online dating, it works for women. Just avoid the STDs and rapists.
Hi! You are a very loving and kind soul, your post say these aspects loud and clear.
I mention that I am 65, for this post only, and with said, I have through the decades seen a lot. You WILL have a very awesome life with your kind and thoughtful attitude.
Believe me 100% in the fact that at 19 you have the world as your oyster and you WILL do great. Take some time and get your thoughts together and go out into the world and socialize.
Yes, a long time ago for me, but I can remember not only finding new friends like at the coffee shop, grocery store AND even had a lot of dates .
Being a beautiful, kind and intelligent person, you have a HUGE future in front of you. Yes it takes time and some effort BUT the outcomes will make you smile and fill your heart with love and kindness not only to folks that you may date but humanity in general.
I send you so many hugs and the deep down belief that you are awesome and world watch out you have arrived!
Always my best to a great friend.
Walter
I mention that I am 65, for this post only, and with said, I have through the decades seen a lot. You WILL have a very awesome life with your kind and thoughtful attitude.
Believe me 100% in the fact that at 19 you have the world as your oyster and you WILL do great. Take some time and get your thoughts together and go out into the world and socialize.
Yes, a long time ago for me, but I can remember not only finding new friends like at the coffee shop, grocery store AND even had a lot of dates .
Being a beautiful, kind and intelligent person, you have a HUGE future in front of you. Yes it takes time and some effort BUT the outcomes will make you smile and fill your heart with love and kindness not only to folks that you may date but humanity in general.
I send you so many hugs and the deep down belief that you are awesome and world watch out you have arrived!
Always my best to a great friend.
Walter
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,138
People are very disappointing and are capable of causing us lots of pain. That is why I choose to stay away personally. However I get that loneliness can be unpleasant. I'm sorry you are suffering. I wish you the best.
Never had good experiences with online dating and I just isolate myself now because I feel hurt
Though I have started to feel lonely again lately
Manaaja
euROPE
- Sep 10, 2018
- 1,382
With online dating there are good people but there are lots of bad people. Imagine if you made a Tinder account, and the first 100 men were assholes who needed sterilization and the 101st was a really good person. You would probably give up long before you reached that really good man.
And I've heard women get lots of messages. It's really hard to go through all the messages to find one good man.
And then there are men who say things like "I'm totally okay with you being asexual and vegan and genderfluid and antinatalist and dog owner" but if you start to date them they'll demand sex ten times a day and want two kids and not respect your identity etc. and call you crazy for being a vegan and tell you to get rid of your dog.
I'd suggest finding a man with a sister. Men with sisters are usually nicer, though not always.
You sound a bit like me but I am older and I'm also ugly so I have no chance and have given up. But its still depressing and it hurts. So I sympathise and understand what you are saying.
But you are 19 , still so young. Enjoy it. So please don't give up , hide away and deny yourself happiness, friendships and love. It can happen for you , it really can.
Good luck.
But you are 19 , still so young. Enjoy it. So please don't give up , hide away and deny yourself happiness, friendships and love. It can happen for you , it really can.
Good luck.
Yeah that's true they are, I do that most of the time too stay alone, though today I went out (not often I do) and I saw people hanging out together, and I get awful panic attacks when socialising and have been hurt by people before so I just stay alone now though I got that feeling that I feel lonely again because of when I went out and I have no one. :( I wish you the best though too. I think I'm going to have to not let it get to me and just realise I don't need no one I really don't want to be hurt again
i know how all of that feels, sorry yeah there's so many bad people out there. I think there's more bad than good though and from my experiences I think I'd rather stay alone then try online dating again.even though I feel very lonely at times. Can't even make a friend. Not even a good friend. I did have one I dated online with a sister he was horrible to me.
Just talked to someone again and tried to make friend and they were absolutely horrible to me so I don't think I'll ever have much luck to even make a friend. This is why I stay alone. Sorry you have been through this too. I don't think love exists or believe in it. but in some way I do feel better by myself Can't get hurt that way. I don't know how other people do it
Really do feel like giving up. Good luck for you too though, I don't know what else to do other than hide myself away, I feel lonely but I can't take it when I keep getting hurt
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Manaaja
euROPE
- Sep 10, 2018
- 1,382
I haven't ever dated online myself but I've heard stories. I downloaded Tinder, made a profile but got too scared to even start swiping. I like both men and women, but I fear dating men, and I also fear dating women. I've never dated so it's scary. And I don't feel like dating anymore.
Yeah, there are good people, but so many bad people too. Even at work places. I used to have personal assistants, and some of them were really nice and professional, but a lot of them were the kind of people who really shouldn't work at any job that requires social interaction. It's crazy. They were trained people and yet I'd say 1/3 were really nice, 1/3 were "okay, but should consider other job" and 1/3 were the kind of "should never be allowed near another person ever again".
I'm good at making online friends, but bad at making and keeping offline friends. People either want nothing to do with me, or they ghost me, or I'll call and text them and they will answer but they will never initiate the conversation so the relationship feels one-sided or they will move away (I had two friends both of who moved away, and my cousin moved away too so now it's really lonely), or they will find someone else (I knew a woman with whom I had dog walks but then she started dating and now she refuses to speak to her former friends, stupid to leave all her friends for one man).
It's really hard to find a good friend or date who will stay with you and neither leave you or hurt you.
Yeah it's not worth it. I like women and men too, women more though. Though I think I'm also asexual which I've been bullied for before. Lately I'm just stuck in house a lot watching YouTube and I don't really have any friends. It's been a long time where I've just liked my own company and I don't want to be around anyone, because I just can't cope and I get bad anxiety. I don't want a relationship either, so I just started staying alone and felt done with people. I used to have a really good friend and he just bullied me very bad and so did the other one I had she did the same and now, I had a massive breakdown after I was abandoned because I was alone again but I couldn't believe that one friend would spend so much time say so nice things to me and then say so much horrible things to me and then just drop me so now I really don't trust no one I just spend my days alone I don't work either and hardly socialise because it involves being around people, i get so much anxiety really bad. I really just don't want to interact with society. I'm 19, but I've felt this way for years, just really don't like the world and the way society is. I don't want to feel like this forever but it never changes. I've been told to try going to college to try make friends and how I should try doing something for myself but I don't know, I can't see the point and I'm worried. Though if I'm just here alone everyday and don't want anything to do with the world I don't know why I just shouldn't just off myself one day. I am tired of these apps though and the way people are on them. Yeah I know how one sided conversations feel they aren't nice and I'm very sorry you have to deal with that. Sorry it's lonely for you. That's not good she left everyone for him. It's hard to find someone yeah with the way people are today, you don't know whether people truly care about you or are just using you until they leave eventually, couple of weeks a go I nearly committed suicide because I just felt fed up with everything, I have my mum she looks out for me I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for her. Was nearly dead a couple them couple of weeks a go. I'm scared if anything ever happens to her I'll just be alone forever. though yeah it does feel very lonely when you can't find many good people and you can't be done with life and find it hard. I'm sorry hugs. And I agree there it is hard yeah
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Garbage Person
Eating snowflakes with plastic forks
- Jan 17, 2020
- 305
I've been sitting here for a moment trying to conjure up some advice worth giving, but I've got nothing really. Loneliness is an issue not bound to any specific time or place, it's an eternal plague on the human experience. I've been in and out of relationships and friendships throughout the entirety of my life. It's always worst right after a break up and I'd say those feelings were more hard hitting in my youth, so you have my condolences. I just hope you take care of yourself. It's something that takes time. I'd recommend researching various hobbies or fields to study. It might help you in many ways by occupying your time and energy, while also giving you something you could share a bond over in the future. I'd never sell bullshit here and say it gets easier, but you can adapt and hopefully persevere by focusing primarily on yourself. Take a warm bath, eat a good meal, treat yourself.
Manaaja
euROPE
- Sep 10, 2018
- 1,382
I identify as asexual too! I'm sorry you have been bullied for it. Asexual people are some of the kindest, most harmless people I have ever met. I've been around asexual forums and never met a bad asexual.
I stay inside and watch youtube too, so much that it's bad for my hands and neck, but I just can't stop. And I have social anxiety too. Either people betray or they leave me or they are evil right from the start or they ignore me.
I'm sorry you have experienced all of that. Your friends weren't real friends, just mean jerks. I don't study or work either. I wanted to go to college years ago, but I'm so shy and socially anxious. And I can't get a job because of that too. Sometimes I want to be a freelance artist who works from home, but I don't know if even that would be too social. And I don't know if I would have mental energy for that.
Thanks! I miss walking with her and I miss her dog. I really loved the dog and the dog used to be so social and always greet me happily, but nowadays the dog looks at me but is too scared to come and greet me as if she was punished for being friends. I feel sorry for the dog.
*hugs* I hope we can find a better place somewhere.
If you ever need to talk you can send me a chat message.
TheHatedOne
Death is salvation
- Sep 26, 2021
- 2,028
I feel ya, tho I have a bf but he might leave me soon. Also don't have friends and at this point i'm just clinging to memories from the past. It hurts to have no one and nobody noticing your existence. We were meant to talk and belong somewhere but humans are just so evil especially to different people.
