Venting Lonely when surrounded

[Professor K]

It's when I'm amidst a group that I experience loneliness to its fullest.

I enjoy being alone, I can "relate" to my own self and I feel comfortable doing anything without having to fear judgments or misinterpretation from other people.
I have space, time, peace and I feel free.

When surrounded by other people, I feel immense void. I'm can't really understand other people's humor, can't seem to find positive affinities that last. I feel completely disconnected and lost. I don't know how to act and having to act makes me feel dishonest and exhausted...

And at the same time, I enjoy the presence of other people at times. I need it.
It's all so hard.

 

[FlyAwayHoney]

I can relate a lot to this. It is quite the conundrum sometimes. Longing for intimacy and the sense of belonging, but never getting it even while surrounded by people you "get along with". I always feel like I am faking when I'm around most people.

Being alone is a joy at times because at least there is not a constant reminder of that feeling in your face.

 

[venin.n]

It's when I'm amidst a group that I experience loneliness to its fullest.

I enjoy being alone, I can "relate" to my own self and I feel comfortable doing anything without having to fear judgments or misinterpretation from other people.
I have space, time, peace and I feel free.

When surrounded by other people, I feel immense void. I'm can't really understand other people's humor, can't seem to find positive affinities that last. I feel completely disconnected and lost. I don't know how to act and having to act makes me feel dishonest and exhausted...

And at the same time, I enjoy the presence of other people at times. I need it.
It's all so hard.

Felt

 

[Beyond_Repair]

It's when I'm amidst a group that I experience loneliness to its fullest.

I enjoy being alone, I can "relate" to my own self and I feel comfortable doing anything without having to fear judgments or misinterpretation from other people.
I have space, time, peace and I feel free.

When surrounded by other people, I feel immense void. I'm can't really understand other people's humor, can't seem to find positive affinities that last. I feel completely disconnected and lost. I don't know how to act and having to act makes me feel dishonest and exhausted...

And at the same time, I enjoy the presence of other people at times. I need it.
It's all so hard.

I relate so much to this. I would love to just be able to sit next to someone or have them in the same room while we both go about our different things.

Sadly, this has never happened - I'm always ending up as a sounding board for someone else since I don't talk much

 

[Professor K]

I relate so much to this. I would love to just be able to sit next to someone or have them in the same room while we both go about our different things.

Sadly, this has never happened - I'm always ending up as a sounding board for someone else since I don't talk much

Exactly.

I think silence also connects people but for most, it is akward and needs to be filled with random discussions...