Discussion Loneliness is so horrible

[MsMaudlin]

I'm so physically alone in this world, I would love to have someone for just some physical contact, not sex, just hugs.

Sad middle aged woman alert

 

[Deleted member 1465]

There's only really one response to that...

I'm the same, I don't really have anyone. 90% of my time is alone. Sucks.

 

[Empty Smile]

Me personally, I like to be alone. It means I don't have to put up with people, and people telling me what I should be doing.

 

[mesohappy]

Im sorry you feel alone.Here is a hug from a "sad middle aged man".Ive been alone for so long,I don't think it bothers me anymore..The thought of having someone at this point frightens me.

 

[MsMaudlin]

Im sorry you feel alone.Here is a hug from a "sad middle aged man".Ive been alone for so long,I don't think it bothers me anymore..The thought of having someone at this point frightens me.

I'd only want someone for a few hugs a week ha, I have been single for too long to ever contemplate dating or anything more.

 

[Justhere]

Loneliness in isolation is better than loneliness in company. Although I'm aware my words don't really solve your problem.

 

[WhiteDespair]

Every so often I get the same feeling. Then, my past comes back and reminds me that I'm terrified of social interactions.

 

[Epsilon0]

I miss that too, thought not very often.

Some days, out of the blue, a wave of longing washes over me. Sometimes, it's intense, and breathtaking, as if I am suddenly trapped inside an iron maiden; other times it's quiet, lika a whisper of wind moving invisibly through a field.

I am accustomed to being lonely, I enjoy the quiet sound of my slow pace, and the stillness of my evenings on the couch.

But, every now and then, out of nowhere, that longing hits me.

I know, however, that I would never take a leap into the sea of love again. I don't have the innocence and I would overthink it to the point that jumping would be impossible.

 

[Cevapcici]

I'm sorry you're hurt by your loneliness. There's a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. While being physically alone can be a blessing , loneliness is a crushing feeling , independent of your surroundings and social interactions...

You know, I feel like sharing this : I went to a conference about rebuilding your self-esteem after narcissistic abuse. There , I met a met a middle aged woman who was stuck in a destructive marriage with a narc for decades. Her daughter turned out pretty high on the narcissistic scale as well, so very toxic to deal with ...a lot of her friends were manipulated to turn their backs on her after her divorce. So technically she invested time and energy to end up alone. But she wasn't lonely, she was a thriving lone wolf so to speak, she was passionate about her interests, knew how to make new friends ect... I often remember her and look up to her.
Idk if my response is appropriate or makes sense... But spending time alone doesn't have to be crushing ...you're probably crushed for other reasons.

I digress... I would love to be with you and give you a hug, but I'll have to stick to a virtual hug

 

[S1mpleme]

I'm so physically alone in this world, I would love to have someone for just some physical contact, not sex, just hugs.

Sad middle aged woman alert

Family, friends?

 

[MsMaudlin]

Family, friends?

Friends have just fallen by the wayside now I'm too poorly to go out.
Family, I have very few members left, they only contact me if they want something x

 

[highlyvolatile]

I'd give you tons and tons of hugs! I am sorry you feel so alone, though. I'm not quite middle aged but i am a ... .. shit i cant think of the term. Im in my mid 20s. But uhm I'd hug you tons!

 

[Kikoo Loool]

Sorry to hear that. I wish I could give you what you need

 

[S1mpleme]

Friends have just fallen by the wayside now I'm too poorly to go out.
Family, I have very few members left, they only contact me if they want something x

I wake up every morning in an empty room, there is no one to say good morning, I dont even have pets (dont want to leave them if I die), no one to tell a joke, if I die nobody finds me in weeks. So I know what loneliness is.

 

[RainAndSadness]

I feel you. I'm also extremely lonely to the point where I cry myself to sleep almost every night. It's horrible. I wish I had someone to hug me, but I know this is a fantasy that will never come true. I know I'm gonna be alone until I die. I was a lone person for my whole life. I never had friends, so you'd think I got used to this by now but I didn't. It still hurts. And my death is also gonna be a very lonely experience. Amazing perspective.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Friends have just fallen by the wayside now I'm too poorly to go out.

That's me too. My brother is five doors down and helps with some practical stuff if he can, but he's emotionally detached. My sister is 200 miles away and barely contacts me and I think that is out of guilt. I spend all my time alone. I used to be okay with that when it wasn't enforced by illness. Now I have no choice it sucks.

I feel you. I'm also extremely lonely to the point where I cry myself to sleep almost every night. It's horrible. I wish I had someone to hug me, but I know this is a fantasy that will never come true. I know I'm gonna be alone until I die. I was a lone person for my whole life. I never had friends, so you'd think I got used to this by now but I didn't. It still hurts. And my death is also gonna be a very lonely experience. Amazing perspective.

Bless you i know the feeling. I sometimes have this whimsical, self-indulgent feeling that the apocalypse will come, society will collapse, everyone will die and I'll still somehow, impossibly be left standing. Nonsense of course but just a feeling.

 

[MsMaudlin]

That's me too. My brother is five doors down and helps with some practical stuff if he can, but he's emotionally detached. My sister is 200 miles away and barely contacts me and I think that is out of guilt. I spend all my time alone. I used to be okay with that when it wasn't enforced by illness. Now I have no choice it sucks.

I have a child at home but they spend a lot of time away at their older sisters, sometimes I don't speak to humans for so long, when I do, my voice doesn't work?

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I have a child at home but they spend a lot of time away at their older sisters, sometimes I don't speak to humans for so long, when I do, my voice doesn't work?

Yeah its weird isn't it? The phone goes and it makes me jump and I have to try and remember how to paste the happy customer service attitude on then people can actually interact with me.

 

[Apathy79]

I wake up every morning in an empty room, there is no one to say good morning, I dont even have pets (dont want to leave them if I die), no one to tell a joke, if I die nobody finds me in weeks. So I know what loneliness is.

What's strange about this post for me is my circumstances are identical, yet loneliness is not even a remote concern. Being alone is craved - I've set up my life that way. The 1-2 times a year I have to see people, I usually can't wait to leave.

I wonder how much it comes down to being alone by choice vs not by choice. I really have the choice at any moment to rejoin the world and socialise. I just don't want to. I've been there. This is far better. But were that choice removed, I wonder if I'd start craving being with people again. I guess it's possible. It's nice to have the option even if I rarely exercise it.

I think we'd get along well @MsMaudlin. Come around for a hug once a week and then carry on our lives separately. I'd be up for that!

 

[S1mpleme]

What's strange about this post for me is my circumstances are identical, yet loneliness is not even a remote concern. Being alone is craved - I've set up my life that way. The 1-2 times a year I have to see people, I usually can't wait to leave.

I wonder how much it comes down to being alone by choice vs not by choice. I really have the choice at any moment to rejoin the world and socialise. I just don't want to. I've been there. This is far better. But were that choice removed, I wonder if I'd start craving being with people again. I guess it's possible. It's nice to have the option even if I rarely exercise it.

I think we'd get along well @MsMaudlin. Come around for a hug once a week and then carry on our lives separately. I'd be up for that!

In my case this is not my choice.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Same, I have no friends anymore last time I was together with "friends" for over 1½ years and even back then it didn´t count I lived with my brother and we had mutual friends but they just came to visit him and we all hang out, it have been around 7 years since I last had real friends where we visited each other but tbh my social life died at 17.

Loneliness is so horrible especially because I used to have a ton of friends in my childhood and teenage years I was very extrovert, the future sucks I should just have killed myself like I planned those 7-8 years ago then I would have spared me from 7-8 years of pain.

 

[a_strange_day]

It has been two weeks since the last time I spoke to someone irl, my therapist... The worst thing about isolation is that you slowly lose your ability to speak/think clearly, to react naturally, and much more. A silent killer.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I wonder how much it comes down to being alone by choice vs not by choice. I really have the choice at any moment to rejoin the world and socialise. I just don't want to. I've been there. This is far better. But were that choice removed, I wonder if I'd start craving being with people again. I guess it's possible. It's nice to have the option even if I rarely exercise it.

When I had the choice I craved solitude but enjoyed company on my own terms. I believe i am what could be described as a sociable introvert. I enjoy people's company but find it exhausting; I need to be alone to recharge. However, having the choice removed means I cannot interact with others and that drives me nuts because we are indeed social creatures.

 

[StillWaiting]

Hi I feel the same too.
It is hard to tell anyone I know in real life about this because it makes me sound like a loser who doesn't have anyone who genuinely cares about me.

 

[S1mpleme]

Hi I feel the same too.
It is hard to tell anyone I know in real life about this because it makes me sound like a loser who doesn't have anyone who genuinely cares about me.

If so then I'm loser too.

 

[Thereisnothing]

I am totally alone and the pain rips me to shreds

 

[Sensei]

I am totally alone and the pain rips me to shreds

I wish I could do something for you. :( Can you go out and visit café and libraries? Is there some club you could join?

 

[sangfroid]

I'm sorry, I know how you feel.

It has been two weeks since the last time I spoke to someone irl, my therapist... The worst thing about isolation is that you slowly lose your ability to speak/think clearly, to react naturally, and much more. A silent killer.

This is really hard to deal with. People don't realise your voice can start to go when you spend so long without speaking.

 

[Midnight]

It's been the bane of my existence. Once i cease to exist so will the pain.

 

[Epsilon0]

Tonight my entire existence hurts me and weighs me down heavily.

I can't quite tell if I am lonely because I am in pain, or I am in pain because I am lonely.

My feelings and thoughts are incoherent, all mixed up as if they were a ball of yarn dragged by the cat all over the house.

I wish I could pray.