loneliness and your opinion

[garbagepunk]

do you think that some people are destined to be alone forever? that some people, just aren't going to get friends anytime in their lifes, and much less a couple?
do you think some people are doomed to not be loved?

 

[Toward Zero]

Nah, but loneliness is a real monster that will eat away at your sanity if you let it. People will often talk down to you for saying that you are lonesome, but those people do not understand the biological imperative to not feel alone.

As for your other question. It is not destined for some people to be alone forever. It is not destined because nothing is destined, nothing is written forever, and nothing is immutable.

The first step is to stop calling yourself pathetic.

 

[strawberry_lemons]

everyone has someone but some people dont get chances to flourish and meet someone who understands them. people are born to be loved but sometimes the sitation makes it hard to be

 

[garbagepunk]

Nah, but loneliness is a real monster that will eat away at your sanity if you let it. People will often talk down to you for saying that you are lonesome, but those people do not understand the biological imperative to not feel alone.

As for your other question. It is not destined for some people to be alone forever. It is not destined because nothing is destined, nothing is written forever, and nothing is immutable.

The first step is to stop calling yourself pathetic.

i know that loneliness is something that if you let roam for too long it will start causing damage, i have learned it the hard way
and my pessimism towards being destined to be alone forever is formed by my own experience. trough the months, i grew a sudden desire to talk to new people, to socializate. thus, trough the attempts, i learned more about my personality and the people's general comfort around me.
my personality is repellent, my overal unexperience is shown whenever i try to hold a conversation with anybody, each message is drier than the other one. and don't even mention real life, there i can't even look at people in the eyes
the irritation and stress that comes with each failure starts stacking to a point where even thinking on talking to a person i don't know, or even to ones i know, angsts me
and then i resignate, and accept the way things are: i wasn't born to socializate, at all
that's why i've started thinking i am just destined to not have friends or any "real" bond with anybody, and wanted to see if anybody else shared the same thought as me
i hope you understood a little more why my vision is so solid

 

[Harrow]

I don't believe that anything is destined to happen, so no.

But I understand how it can feel that way, I've been in that situation. It was to the point where I'd go weeks without speaking words out loud or looking people in the eye. The longer you're alone, the more shitty you feel, and the harder it is to connect with people. The more awkward situations you're in, the more awkward you feel. It's by mere luck I was able to get out of that cycle. The only thing I can recommend is practice, even if it's just messaging people online.

Sorry for your situation, I hope some of my luck in that regard rubs off on you.

 

[Toward Zero]

i know that loneliness is something that if you let roam for too long it will start causing damage, i have learned it the hard way
and my pessimism towards being destined to be alone forever is formed by my own experience. trough the months, i grew a sudden desire to talk to new people, to socializate. thus, trough the attempts, i learned more about my personality and the people's general comfort around me.
my personality is repellent, my overal unexperience is shown whenever i try to hold a conversation with anybody, each message is drier than the other one. and don't even mention real life, there i can't even look at people in the eyes
the irritation and stress that comes with each failure starts stacking to a point where even thinking on talking to a person i don't know, or even to ones i know, angsts me
and then i resignate, and accept the way things are: i wasn't born to socializate, at all
that's why i've started thinking i am just destined to not have friends or any "real" bond with anybody, and wanted to see if anybody else shared the same thought as me
i hope you understood a little more why my vision is so solid

Bonding with people, reading social queues is something that does not come to me naturally, I had to learn it. Although I do have a good sense of empathy, this does not equate to being able to navigate conversations properly. That was something that I had to learn through trial and error.

Messages becoming "Dry" during conversations is a fact that the adults and communities in your life failed you and did not teach you the proper skills to find things that fulfil you, and other people are also suffering this.

I too find that many conversations are empty and shallow, it is difficult in today's culture to find connection. You need to understand that lots of people around the world are also having this problem. It is critical that you do not assign blame for this entirely on yourself. There are things you can learn, new strategies that you can try, and things that you can change, but it is not your fault that things are this hard.

The capacity for things to get better does exist. You are not destined to be an outcast and to be unfulfilled, you can make improvements to the things that are bothering you.
You can DM me if you want to discuss certain things, we can talk about talking.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Yeah, I feel this way. It wasn't always like this for me, as I had plenty of girlfriends and friends in my younger years, but for the past 30 years, I've had neither. So, yeah, I kinda feel like it was my destiny to end up alone. And what reinforced that notion is that all of my family has died in the past 4 years, so I'm as alone as anyone could possibly be - no romantic relationship, no friends, no family. I never had children, so I don't have that, either. Maybe I did something to deserve it. I feel like I'm in solitary confinement in perpetuity. And if I were to wait, I'm sure the loneliness itself would eventually kill me. But, I won't be waiting until that happens.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Not entirely- no. Relationships take effort, confidence and trust. If you stay at home, hardly ever leave the house, don't talk to new people, don't keep in touch with the people you know and don't ever trust people- you won't have friends. That bit's not complicated.

I guess what is more complicated is a person's personality. Some of us feel too shy or socially awkward to meet people and make friends. Some people feel like they do make the effort but no one really likes them. All of that may have come about via past bad experiences and it may put us off trying to socialise in the future. I'd say that was unfortunate- tragic even but again- I wouldn't say it was that person's destiny. They COULD keep trying with people- and they MIGHT eventually find someone they click with. Or- they COULD just shut themselves off to the world because it seems safer. That's a choice though- not an inevitability.

For me- I struggle around people. I don't entirely trust friendship either from past experience. I don't like confronting my social fears and I don't believe people can be relied upon anyhow- so, for me it seems safer to be alone.

Maybe it was an inevitability that I would end up socially awkward due to a natural shyness and likely from some horrible childhood experiences with a (suspected) narcissist that crushed my confidence still further. Still- I could have- could now do more to overcome all that. I just chose not to.

I'm always curious really. People who say how lonely they are. Is it because they just don't feel like they can relate to those around them? Or- is it because they have physically shut themselves off from everyone? Do they actually try to socialise? Personally, I'm kind of lucky in that although I am alone, I rarely feel lonely. That of course is another reason I am alone- there is nothing motivating me to meet people.

 

[outrider567]

Having a thirty-five year relationship, and then losing her to death, results in the worst kind of loneliness there is

 

[M.O.N]

Having a thirty-five year relationship, and then losing her to death, results in the worst kind of loneliness there is

I'm sure you've heard this countless times, but I'm so sorry for your loss. my heart goes out to you.

 

[wszuq]

do you think that some people are destined to be alone forever? that some people, just aren't going to get friends anytime in their lifes, and much less a couple?
do you think some people are doomed to not be loved?

Life can be very cruel to some people, many people in the world had solitary lives. Nothing about life is predictable so if someone is really unlucky they will have to spend the rest of their lives alone. I have come to accept the possibility that I might have to be alone for the rest of my life. Loneliness really eats up my brain sometimes, it makes me reach out to other people to seek comfort. Hasn't worked so far.

Life can be really hard if you are alone with no friends. All of us need supportive people to help us sail through life. Having nobody to care for us leaves us in a constant state of anxiety and despair. Suicide is a guaranteed solution to this problem but it isn't easy.

 

[dyingslowly]

do you think that some people are destined to be alone forever? that some people, just aren't going to get friends anytime in their lifes, and much less a couple?
do you think some people are doomed to not be loved?

yeah, it is true that's literally me, and u reach a point where u don't even want anyone.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

Yeah I mean I'm living proof of that. I have no friends, no one I can talk to. People on this site say they relate to me but if I told them who I really am they'd hate me and cuss me out. So really I don't have friends and can't have friends.

 

[foreverfalling]

Maintaining friendships felt like artificial effort I had to put in, like catching up every now and then, and whenever I tried to ask how they are going it felt like I was forcing something. I try to talk more intimately about certain topics but it seems to make the other person awkward, and in fact probably makes them not want to talk to me. And that's not even broaching topics like CTB. How can I have friends when my world view goes against the norm? Yeah I think some people are meant to be alone.

 

[Linda]

do you think that some people are destined to be alone forever? that some people, just aren't going to get friends anytime in their lifes, and much less a couple?
do you think some people are doomed to not be loved?

No. Although there is nothing you can do that will guarantee that you will meet a suitable partner, there is a lot you can do to improve the odds. You need to spend more of your life doing things that bring you into contact with other people. Then let events take their own course.

 

[notverylucid]

I would say that I fit the description of this. I used to have friends until a couple of years ago, where my childhood friends eventually turned their backs on me and my high school friends were very superficial and exploitative. The little desire I had to find any relationship was extinguished early on when I realized that I would never be conventionally attractive no matter how much I worked out, ate healthy, slept well, etc. My gene expression is fucked to put it plainly, and I've been bullied about it to the point that it's been mentally irreparable. People say that there's somebody for everyone, but I feel like that's just wishful thinking, because the blunt reality is that there's going to be people like me who don't fit in anywhere and have no hope going forward.

 

[outrider567]

I'm sure you've heard this countless times, but I'm so sorry for your loss. my heart goes out to you.

Thank you

 

[omarofficial10]

I think there is someone for everyone. I don't think that those people will always meet who they are supposed to though. Like me, sure someone out there would like me but I sure as fuck don't know them lol

 

[dead-yaga]

some people go their whole lives without meeting the right someone. sometimes it takes their entire lives to finally find that person. some people meet their someone too soon but then they die & live the rest of their life in miserable boredom. those seem to be the only three main ways romance goes. everything else is outliers.

 

[Unattainable666]

Sadly, yes. There are so many people who are alone.

 

[Captive_Mind515]

20+ years alone. So yes, it feels like my destiny tbh.

Whether or not this is actually true, or just my perception based on my experiences... who knows? But I'm living in it, and it's my reality.

It's like depression. Telling someone there is a clear path out of isolation and loneliness, just isn't true for everyone. It's an oversimplification.