Living out of spite or dying out of spite?

[Water-Lily]

This is a difficult concept for me to grasp. Firstly, to live out of spite:
This would entail me to live with the pain I have currently. To in some capacity, use that pain as a means of bettering myself. To not give my abusers a sense of satisfaction and to live a life better than the ones who robbed me of happiness.

Then there is to die out of spite:
On some level I feel I deserve my pain. If not, then why do I/did I suffer so much? Is it rather a reflection of the people who hurt me or is there a greater power beyond myself? I question this. Rationally it is mostly bad luck in the cards I was dealt with. However, it is much more fun to think of life intentionally hurting me.

I feel I will suicide out of spite. Which would only hurt myself more than anyone. It might not even hurt the very people who hurt me in any way either. But, this is how I feel and that will not change.

 

[Tackingintothewind]

Neither. Live for you or die for you. No one else matters a bit.

 

[Makko]

It's only worth doing things out of spite if you have any way of actually harming your target in any way that matters.

 

[Hattywacky]

I spent some time being deeply angry with a few people. They'd made mistakes and it made my life harder. And they didn't give a shit and they weren't sorry. I hated them. I was angry and hateful all the time.
And then I read something, "negative emotions are far more taxing on your own wellbeing than positive ones. If you let bad feelings about other people intrude on your day you hand the keys to your mood over to another person – and one that you don't like! Why would you do that?"

 

[RedHarlequin]

My opinion is that most of the time people that commit suicide are just in an extreme amount of pain, let it be caused by trauma, life circumstances, clinical depression etc. It's hard for me to see how someone could take their life out of spite.

 

[Meditation guide]

People who hurt you aren't going to care.

 

[FuneralCry]

Personally, the idea of dying out of spite doesn't make sense to me as I believe once we die there is nothing, no more consciousness, no more emotions so you cannot feel the satisfaction from doing it. People do things out of spite to give themselves an certain emotional response. I think someone who ctb would be doing it to end their own suffering. I agree with your reasons as to why you would live out of spite.