Living in poverty is awful and I'm sick of being blamed for it.

[Priestess]

I've been on disability benefits on and off since getting cancer, having a stroke and becoming partially sighted. I say off and on because at reassessments they sometimes award me zero points and stop my payments, then I have to go through an appeal to get them reinstated. When this happens I end up living off an overdraft, and when I finally get my benefits reinstated with backpay, the backpay is never enough to pay off the debt due to overdraft charges. So I sink further into debt each time. Now my overdraft is totally maxxed out, I have literally no money, not even for food. The local food bank is shit, takes ages to get a referral and I can't eat most of the food they give due to food intolerances caused by my cancer treatment. I'm literally starving to the point that I was diagnosed with multiple vitamin deficiencies. Now I get vitamin tablets on the NHS, but I still have no money for food! How stupid is this world - they'll spend money on fake supplements for deficiencies caused by starvation but they won't give me any money for food!
And people blame me for my poverty "Just manage your money better," How can I manage zero income better, please tell me!
"Get a job/side hustle" - what kind of work do you think a partially sighted cancer patient who recently had a stroke can do?

 

[HadEnough44]

i think its very easy for people to peek into other people's lives and point out what theyre "doing wrong," and having absolutely no idea what its like actually being in that situation. its ignorant and condescending.

 

[FuneralCry]

That truly is so cruel, it's so terrible to me how there's all this suffering, I'm sorry you have to suffer so unbearably like that. But anyway best wishes.

 

[FlufflesAway]

Most of the world is capitalist, and most of the world is poor."
– Michael Parenti

Sort of in a similar position to you priestess. In another country though, and my situation is not so dire. I can only express sympathy.

It's funny the wiki-page on suicide mentions economic conditions for the prevalence of suicide, but this is ignored by all the therapists I've ever been involved in. "Ok, your life might be ok and you might be able to continue in your middle-class bubble. My life is always miserable though, not just because of 'mental' reasons. Ha ha ha." "Why aren't you happy being poor?!?!? Just get a better jawb!"

 

[Hotsackage]

It's brutal isn't it, sorry you have to deal with it

 

[escape_from_hell]

Please don't let the 'blame' get to you.

The blame is all about THEM. It is about assuring themselves that they have a free will, are empowered in this life, and are making all the correct and good choices and have earned everything from their hard work and just being that fucking good.

Dunno if it is much assurance, but they don't give a fuck about your circumstances at all, other than abusing it to make themselves feel better via bullying.

It is sad to hear the circumstances you are in. I hope you can get some peace. I dunno what will help your circumstances but it sounds like the NHS won't help you get healthy unfortunately.

 

[Grumble]

i think its very easy for people to peek into other people's lives and point out what theyre "doing wrong,"

It's especially easy (and safe) when considering the alternative: Admitting that a person has been failed by external factors.

To make such an admission is to acknowledge that this can happen to anybody, which is a scary thought to confront. It could also make them feel a degree of guilt, or as if they'd be opening themselves up to judgement (be it justified or unjustified) for being part of the problem that led to a cancer patient falling into poverty in the first place.

This is an avoidance of uncomfortable truths and mostly won't even be occurring at a conscious level. They just put the blame on the individual and carry on with life. No more thought required.

Or, like @escape_from_hell suggested -- some of them are just selfish, awful people.

 

[fatladysings]

I've been on disability benefits on and off since getting cancer, having a stroke and becoming partially sighted. I say off and on because at reassessments they sometimes award me zero points and stop my payments, then I have to go through an appeal to get them reinstated. When this happens I end up living off an overdraft, and when I finally get my benefits reinstated with backpay, the backpay is never enough to pay off the debt due to overdraft charges. So I sink further into debt each time. Now my overdraft is totally maxxed out, I have literally no money, not even for food. The local food bank is shit, takes ages to get a referral and I can't eat most of the food they give due to food intolerances caused by my cancer treatment. I'm literally starving to the point that I was diagnosed with multiple vitamin deficiencies. Now I get vitamin tablets on the NHS, but I still have no money for food! How stupid is this world - they'll spend money on fake supplements for deficiencies caused by starvation but they won't give me any money for food!
And people blame me for my poverty "Just manage your money better," How can I manage zero income better, please tell me!
"Get a job/side hustle" - what kind of work do you think a partially sighted cancer patient who recently had a stroke can do?

Priestess I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I don't know if it will make you feel any better but I really understand your pain - I will be in a similar position to you when my mum dies. Finances are a big part of why I'm ctb'ing. I developed psychosis in 2010 and my current diagnosis is schizoaffective disorder and I hear voices and can't work. The voices are part of the reason I'm ctbing but they're not the whole story. Like you, I'm on benefits. I live with my mum and she basically keeps the house warm cos she has a good pension but when she dies (she's 89) I won't have enough money to keep the house warm. I am intending to ctb as soon as my mum dies because I refuse to live a life of scrimping and saving, and living in a cold house, and not being able to treat myself to a cup of coffee in a cafe. I just absolutely refuse to live a life like that, I would much, much rather be dead.

I haven't had your experience of having my benefits stopped, that has got to be horrendous and must fill you with stress. From reading your post, I really understand why you have ended up in a suicide forum. It's so sad that something that should be a basic human right in a developed country - enough food - is the reason you are wanting to ctb. You absolutely can't manage your money better when you don't have any. So sorry you have to live like this. So sorry you don't have enough food.

 

[3/4Dead]

i wont get too much into my own situation but good god i can relate. im sorry this is how things are for you... poverty is hardly ever the individuals fault, and once youre in it its practically impossible to crawl your way back out.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

This is not on you. When tragedy strikes so horribly like it happened to you, it is incredibly hard to manage. Also, it's very difficult to manage and grow money from nothing. The more money you have, the easier it is to grow money, it's simply how it works.

The system is flawed and the way it works it facilitates people with little money to have even less. Just like you mentioned with the overdrafts.

Finance literacy is a problem but, from what you explained, even with finance literacy it would be very, very hard to get out of that situation alone.

I'm so sorry you have to go through that...the anxiety must be so hard to deal with. There should be better systems in place, people shouldn't have to endure things this way...