Living a half-life

[VivaldiBR]

The worst thing about having depression and thinking about CTB is living a half-life. Everything is difficult when your emotions vary daily between emptiness, hopelessness, glimpses of joy, sadness, guilt. It's so exhausting.

It was so nice when i was a regular person. I miss those days.

 

[franklynlb]

I get you friend. It can be difficult to balance the good and the bad of our lives. Specially when ppl around us isn't very helpful, and when the bad seems to be greater. Sometimes you just gotta take the small wins and wear em like a medal to make everyday a little less awful.
I'm sorry you are having to go through depression. It helps me to think the "good old days" might be a posibility again one day, maybe it's wishful thinking but sometimes it helps. I hope you get to have more of those glimpses of joy again. -hugs-

 

[Nymph]

I don't even remember being a regular person

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Can I ask if the there are causes such as situational reasons you feel as you do?
If they are causing you to feel awful and can be changed than removing the stimuli and concentrating on recovery could work.
I know a lot of us do not have that option

 

[VivaldiBR]

Can I ask if the there are causes such as situational reasons you feel as you do?
If they are causing you to feel awful and can be changed than removing the stimuli and concentrating on recovery could work.
I know a lot of us do not have that option

I'm in recovery. I spoke to my nuclear family, close friends, psychologist and psychiatrist about thoughts on CTB. Its just the struggle that is so hard sometimes...

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Suicide as an ideation is I would argue in a personal perhaps wrong perspective more often a way for us to find solace than a true desire to actually die.

 

[VivaldiBR]

Suicide as an ideation is I would argue in a personal perhaps wrong perspective more often a way for us to find solace than a true desire to actually die.

I hope you're right.
I didn't buy the materials, but I already mentally chose a method

 

[All washed up]

The worst thing about having depression and thinking about CTB is living a half-life. Everything is difficult when your emotions vary daily between emptiness, hopelessness, glimpses of joy, sadness, guilt. It's so exhausting.

It was so nice when i was a regular person. I miss those days.

I totally get this. 55 years as a regular person,
6 months of this depressive half life.
I even miss those occasional bad days or even weeks I had in the past they were nothing compared to this