Venting Literally everyone at work hates me

[Night Sky]

I finally had a day off, and realized that with how much anxiety I've had the past week, having nothing to do terrified me. So I decided to go out to a state park today to be alone in the woods to soak up nature.

I stopped by my job earlier today, retail place, to pick up some snacks and trail mix and whatnot since I planned to be at the park for several hours. And not one person said a single word to me. No one working the desk said hi to me, no one stocking shelves in the aisles said anything, the person running the register who I've known for years said nothing to me as I was checking out. Even tried to wave and say hi to my boss as I was walking out, and they barely even looked at me.

Every single other time I see someone else who works here walk in, they're treated warmly. They'll have people yelling "Hi" to them from across the room as they walk in, people giving them hugs, people stopping to have conversations with them. We're considered to have very friendly people working here so it's pretty normal to see everyone treating a fellow employee well when they come in off the clock.

I'm the only exception. People go out of their way to not say a word to me unless they absolutely have to, regardless if I'm on the job or not. Then they talk about me behind my back about how quiet and hard to approach I am...when nobody makes the effort to try and talk to me, and ignore me when I try to talk to them.

It makes every single workday a living hell as I stand there and watch everyone else be accepted and treated better than I am while I'm the one and only outcast. I just don't understand what anyone wants from me.

 

[Going Home]

Maybe someone smeared your name and assassinated your character with nasty gossip. I am unemployed but if it were happening to me I would look at the boss. Only shit leadership would allow that kind of behavior. Fuck 'em. Hopefully you find other employment with a better class of people.

Enjoy your walks in the woods.

 

[Hennessy]

I'm sorry to hear this. But I'm not surprised: Most humans are bad.

I wish I could meet you and walk with you in the woods. You seem like a very nice and reflective person.

Stay strong, my friend.

 

[Dear Flabby]

Sending you strength and hugs!
I had this type of thing happen to me at work until I was in my 30's.
My experience is that it breaks you. I was anxious at work for years after because I never believed that the abuse (and that is what it is!) was truly over.
The thing that changed it for me was that I was able to get a 2 year diploma and specific training.
Once I had that, my jobs involved people that were slightly more well behaved. The management would not tolerate a toxic workplace.
I don't know if it is realistic to take online courses, or go to school part time? I realize that it is not easy. I was 34 when I got my diploma.
Please know that those coworkers are Ostracizing you to make their pathetic egos feel better.
It. Is.Not.You!
Also, you have equals and friends here that care about your struggles.
Sending kind thoughts and hugs,
Flabs

 

[Largeletters]

I'm sorry. I definitely understand where you're coming from. I have people acting very friendly towards me at work to not saying anything the next day on. It is very odd and I know I am mostly forgotten and disliked with the exception of a few coworkers.

 

[Esc9434]

Who cares... people who have time to hate other human beings usually have deep problems of their own.

Keep doing you.

 

[snowman626]

yeah you sound just like me. in this world if you're not some extroverted talking machine then you're "weird" and "creepy" and nobody wants to be around you.

I used to work security at the front desk of this place. I nodded and said good morning to everyone who comes in and was never rude to the staff. But later I learned that people talked shit about me behind my back saying Im too quiet, dry, weird, creepy, etc. Some of the female staff even chose a longer route to avoid walking by my desk and it was obvious.

 

[NeverMatteredAnyway]

I hate it too. It sucks to be surrounded by no goods.
Instead of feeling bad or shutout, try evaluating their worth by their behavior. Picking on someone, bullying, they know how theyre making you feel. They dont score very high on the good people list do they?
You dont need them. Youre 10000000x the person they are. Find ppl worth your time, energy, intelligence, kindness. You'd be wasting yourself if you were friends with these ppl. Theyre gross.

 

[Night Sky]

Maybe someone smeared your name and assassinated your character with nasty gossip. I am unemployed but if it were happening to me I would look at the boss. Only shit leadership would allow that kind of behavior. Fuck 'em. Hopefully you find other employment with a better class of people.

Enjoy your walks in the woods.

Thank you. You don't know how much it means to recieve some positivity and support. The workplace is admittedly kind of toxic with how management will treat people and play favorites. Here's a story:

A girl started working here freshly graduated from high school. She was here for 5 months, then started secretly sleeping with our team leader at the time (which is explicitly against company policy), and he started putting in good words for her to the top brass, and would cover up her mistakes. So by month 6 she got fast tracked to a promotion to a leadership position. She wasn't particularly good at the job and would need help from more senior employees regularly even by the time she was promoted.

I've literally seen people work here for years and still not be considered for that promotion...then suddenly she gets there in half a year. Then when the head honchos found out what they were doing, instead of firing them, they transferred and demoted the team leader to a different store to keep things quiet. The girl got to keep her new promotion above the rest of us and faced no repurcussions at all.

Also note I've seen people get straight up fired here for coming in while wearing shoes that were against dress code...but this was no big deal. :/

Plus management will say really awful things about some employees here when they're not around, then brush it off as "oh it's just workplace banter, nothing serious ha ha ha" if they get confronted about it.

Sending you strength and hugs!
I had this type of thing happen to me at work until I was in my 30's.
My experience is that it breaks you. I was anxious at work for years after because I never believed that the abuse (and that is what it is!) was truly over.
The thing that changed it for me was that I was able to get a 2 year diploma and specific training.
Once I had that, my jobs involved people that were slightly more well behaved. The management would not tolerate a toxic workplace.
I don't know if it is realistic to take online courses, or go to school part time? I realize that it is not easy. I was 34 when I got my diploma.
Please know that those coworkers are Ostracizing you to make their pathetic egos feel better.
It. Is.Not.You!
Also, you have equals and friends here that care about your struggles.
Sending kind thoughts and hugs,
Flabs

Thank you so, so much. It means a lot. I actually do have a degree, but it's in something that's not super in-demand in the job market. I've tried going back to school for a second one in something more useful, but ran into financial aid problems and haven't been able to attend for a while.

Tried to look for a new job anyway, but everywhere that's hiring either requires such-and-such many years of prior experience in a specialized role, or doesn't give any better pay or benefits than where I currently am. Plus I've been here for a decently long time by retail job standards, and as most of us going through depression and anxiety probably know, familiarity brings comfort. Even if it comes at our own expense in the grand scheme of things.

I'll keep trying to look, though. And I had a nice day in the woods. Sat on the mountainside and read some books as I listened to the wind blow through the trees. It was a nice escape to be in nature and far away from everything bothering me.

 

[HadEnough1974]

Thank you. You don't know how much it means to recieve some positivity and support. The workplace is admittedly kind of toxic with how management will treat people and play favorites. Here's a story:

A girl started working here freshly graduated from high school. She was here for 5 months, then started secretly sleeping with our team leader at the time (which is explicitly against company policy), and he started putting in good words for her to the top brass, and would cover up her mistakes. So by month 6 she got fast tracked to a promotion to a leadership position. She wasn't particularly good at the job and would need help from more senior employees regularly even by the time she was promoted.

I've literally seen people work here for years and still not be considered for that promotion...then suddenly she gets there in half a year. Then when the head honchos found out what they were doing, instead of firing them, they transferred and demoted the team leader to a different store to keep things quiet. The girl got to keep her new promotion above the rest of us and faced no repurcussions at all.

Also note I've seen people get straight up fired here for coming in while wearing shoes that were against dress code...but this was no big deal. :/

Plus management will say really awful things about some employees here when they're not around, then brush it off as "oh it's just workplace banter, nothing serious ha ha ha" if they get confronted about it.



Thank you so, so much. It means a lot. I actually do have a degree, but it's in something that's not super in-demand in the job market. I've tried going back to school for a second one in something more useful, but ran into financial aid problems and haven't been able to attend for a while.

Tried to look for a new job anyway, but everywhere that's hiring either requires such-and-such many years of prior experience in a specialized role, or doesn't give any better pay or benefits than where I currently am. Plus I've been here for a decently long time by retail job standards, and as most of us going through depression and anxiety probably know, familiarity brings comfort. Even if it comes at our own expense in the grand scheme of things.

I'll keep trying to look, though. And I had a nice day in the woods. Sat on the mountainside and read some books as I listened to the wind blow through the trees. It was a nice escape to be in nature and far away from everything bothering me.

Young girl sleeping with boss, getting promoted. Hummm... never heard of that happening before ;)

Disclaimer: That was meant to be funny. The vast majority of women are hard working and don't need to sleep with their boss in order to get promotions. Now explain that to Harvey Weinstein ;)

 

[AlreadyGone]

If they hate on you at work, let them hate. I go to work to do my job, I am not there to make friends.

 

[NeverMatteredAnyway]

If they hate on you at work, let them hate. I go to work to do my job, I am not there to make friends.

Ya. All these ppl did was fill out an application, get hired, lol they dress themselves, and show up. That's all theyre qualified for. Their opinions dont matter!

 

[S1mpleme]

That's not your fault, don't pay attention. Can't sy if anyone hates me but there is no one to love me for sure. Anyways, why not to talk about it with your coworkers? Just ask what the hell is going on, I don't think they will hate you more if you just ask.

 

[ForensicallyAware]

People love to create cliques and drama
And of course they need victims and scapegoats

 

[Dear Flabby]

Thank you. You don't know how much it means to recieve some positivity and support. The workplace is admittedly kind of toxic with how management will treat people and play favorites. Here's a story:

A girl started working here freshly graduated from high school. She was here for 5 months, then started secretly sleeping with our team leader at the time (which is explicitly against company policy), and he started putting in good words for her to the top brass, and would cover up her mistakes. So by month 6 she got fast tracked to a promotion to a leadership position. She wasn't particularly good at the job and would need help from more senior employees regularly even by the time she was promoted.

I've literally seen people work here for years and still not be considered for that promotion...then suddenly she gets there in half a year. Then when the head honchos found out what they were doing, instead of firing them, they transferred and demoted the team leader to a different store to keep things quiet. The girl got to keep her new promotion above the rest of us and faced no repurcussions at all.

Also note I've seen people get straight up fired here for coming in while wearing shoes that were against dress code...but this was no big deal. :/

Plus management will say really awful things about some employees here when they're not around, then brush it off as "oh it's just workplace banter, nothing serious ha ha ha" if they get confronted about it.



Thank you so, so much. It means a lot. I actually do have a degree, but it's in something that's not super in-demand in the job market. I've tried going back to school for a second one in something more useful, but ran into financial aid problems and haven't been able to attend for a while.

Tried to look for a new job anyway, but everywhere that's hiring either requires such-and-such many years of prior experience in a specialized role, or doesn't give any better pay or benefits than where I currently am. Plus I've been here for a decently long time by retail job standards, and as most of us going through depression and anxiety probably know, familiarity brings comfort. Even if it comes at our own expense in the grand scheme of things.

I'll keep trying to look, though. And I had a nice day in the woods. Sat on the mountainside and read some books as I listened to the wind blow through the trees. It was a nice escape to be in nature and far away from everything bothering me.

Your day in nature sounds lovely.
I'm so sorry that my generation f@cked up the education/job market. We have a lot to answer for.
I agree so much about familiarity (even if toxic) is easier to cope with than massive career changes.
Peace and kindness,
Flabs

 

[Kassender]

I see exactly what you mean, NightSky.

Its been happening to me too,
at every job i ever had.

Everytime i get to be the target of some power/control hungry waste of sperm that reeks of insecurity even more than i do.
Everytime, everyone follows him/her.
I swear i bring out the worst in others...

I hope you find a way to reverse it, because this one of my primary reasons to ctb.

If they hate on you at work, let them hate. I go to work to do my job, I am not there to make friends.

I really wish i could feel like that, but i never could. It just hurts the same everytime.

 

[NeverMatteredAnyway]

I see exactly what you mean, NightSky.

Its been happening to me too,
at every job i ever had.

Everytime i get to be the target of some power/control hungry waste of sperm that reeks of insecurity even more than i do.
Everytime, everyone follows him/her.
I swear i bring out the worst in others...

I hope you find a way to reverse it, because this one of my primary reasons to ctb.



I really wish i could feel like that, but i never could. It just hurts the same everytime.

They are garbage ppl. You deserve real friends, not losers like at these jobs.

 

[andy69]

I finally had a day off, and realized that with how much anxiety I've had the past week, having nothing to do terrified me. So I decided to go out to a state park today to be alone in the woods to soak up nature.

I stopped by my job earlier today, retail place, to pick up some snacks and trail mix and whatnot since I planned to be at the park for several hours. And not one person said a single word to me. No one working the desk said hi to me, no one stocking shelves in the aisles said anything, the person running the register who I've known for years said nothing to me as I was checking out. Even tried to wave and say hi to my boss as I was walking out, and they barely even looked at me.

Every single other time I see someone else who works here walk in, they're treated warmly. They'll have people yelling "Hi" to them from across the room as they walk in, people giving them hugs, people stopping to have conversations with them. We're considered to have very friendly people working here so it's pretty normal to see everyone treating a fellow employee well when they come in off the clock.

I'm the only exception. People go out of their way to not say a word to me unless they absolutely have to, regardless if I'm on the job or not. Then they talk about me behind my back about how quiet and hard to approach I am...when nobody makes the effort to try and talk to me, and ignore me when I try to talk to them.

It makes every single workday a living hell as I stand there and watch everyone else be accepted and treated better than I am while I'm the one and only outcast. I just don't understand what anyone wants from me.

I worked in place like that several years ago. They will bring you down. Look for another job.

 

[NeverMatteredAnyway]

Are you ugly facially (be honest) or on the Autistic spectrum? If yes to either then there's your answer.

No, this person is surrounded by obtuse losers. And let me be the one to remind you that we're here to be kind and supportive, not an addition to the bullying assholes we're surrounded by in real life.

 

[Dear Flabby]

Are you ugly facially (be honest) or on the Autistic spectrum? If yes to either then there's your answer.

How is that helpful? What can you offer @Night Sky in the way of encouragement or insight?
This is a kind and compassionate forum for people who are struggling.
Perhaps your own suffering has blinded you. This is a place where you can safely vent your pain. Your words show that you are in a dark place.
Peace and hugs,
Flabs

 

[to_rid_the_disease]

I'm sorry this is happening to you. I have always felt like an oddball in working environments usually because like in your situation, I am "too quiet." It is horrible feeling like you are not being accepted but don't you dare change for anybody just because people can't or don't want to understand you. You have to be true to yourself in the end. Stick it out. You have a job to do as well as everybody else and are an important part of that. Maybe have a chat with someone that you are unhappy with how you are being treated? The manager or someone? Either way, I hope your situation improves. Big hugs.

 

[The Abyss]

How is that helpful? What can you offer @Night Sky in the way of encouragement or insight?
This is a kind and compassionate forum for people who are struggling.
Perhaps your own suffering has blinded you. This is a place where you can safely vent your pain. Your words show that you are in a dark place.
Peace and hugs,
Flabs

I could give empty platitudes I guess but a better alternative would be a job offer at a better work environment; something I cannot do. Giving him some different perspectives as to why he's being treated the way he is. There's no question the coworkers are asses but as to why he/she is singled out; get to the bottom of that & perhaps further issues can be avoided.

 

[Pan]

The pressure and stress on the job is bad enough; you don't need this compounding it. Now I know why I am a misanthrope.