Limbo

[DJ2000]

Right now I'm in this weird sort of limbo state, wherein I don't really want to live, but am unsure of killing myself. It's not that I'm afraid of death, I'm just not sure what to do.

Every day when I wake up in the same confused haze, tired af, I ask myself "what am I doing?" And the answer is "he'll if I know." I then wander through the day in a daze, perpetually trying to get my head straight every day for the past few months with no sucess. Oh well, mine as well get really fucked up then. Odin I'm a mess.

Then again it could be worse, I could be a boring middle age man working an office job. I could have an organized life, and that would be just so much worse.

But I can't settle for this- I have to either kill myself or completely overhaul my life. Then again if I sit here in limbo a little longer I won't have to do either as long as Im in it.

 

[gnomeboy17]

Hey there, I totally feel this. I don't want to kill myself right now but it seems inevitable that I will eventually, as I just don't feel happy enough to see reasons to live.

Just know we're always here for you

 

[Walilamdzi]

I wake up like that too!

 

[SleeplessSoul]

It's really reassuring seeing this! I just got onto a PhD programme and I feel like I'm in this weird in between where I want to die but I also want to live to do the PhD? It does feel inevitable that I will die though

 

[qwerty32]

Same here. I want to CTB soon but I feel like I'm holding myself back. Maybe finish this semester to finish my degree and CTB?

 

[Squiddy]

I wake up in that state too and some days for a few minutes, I'll want to live and others, I say fuck it and want to die. Idk what to do anymore.

 

[DJ2000]

I wake up in that state too and some days for a few minutes, I'll want to live and others, I say fuck it and want to die. Idk what to do anymore.

I'm probably going to have the trippiest trip ever, then figure it out. I'm loading up on weed, shrooms, salvia, ether and whatever else.

 

[Squiddy]

I'm probably going to have the trippiest trip ever, then figure it out. I'm loading up on weed, shrooms, salvia, ether and whatever else.

I wish I could have weed right now

 

[BPD Barbie]

Stuck between a rock and a hard place. There are a lot of people, including myself, who feel this way. I'm in such a situation that really suicide is the best option but right now, I don't want to die, but I know I will have to. It's just like I'm postponing the inevitable and I don't know why.

 

[Huntfish34]

Same for me I suppose. I agree with everything you guys have said so far. I really don't Want to die... But I feel its best for myself to just leave this world once and for all...

DJ2000. - How was your trip? I usually have shrooms but to no avail atm...... I do have some Cid which I'll enjoy sometime soon though.

Squiddy- I feel you on that, weed helps me so Much in my every day I can't even put it into words.

 

[DJ2000]

Same for me I suppose. I agree with everything you guys have said so far. I really don't Want to die... But I feel its best for myself to just leave this world once and for all...

DJ2000. - How was your trip? I usually have shrooms but to no avail atm...... I do have some Cid which I'll enjoy sometime soon though.

Squiddy- I feel you on that, weed helps me so Much in my every day I can't even put it into words.

I haven't tripped yet. Takes a bit to get everything together, but once I do I'm doing a cocktail of different drugs and putting myself in another dimension.

 

[Orpheus*]

Right now I'm in this weird sort of limbo state, wherein I don't really want to live, but am unsure of killing myself. It's not that I'm afraid of death, I'm just not sure what to do.

Every day when I wake up in the same confused haze, tired af, I ask myself "what am I doing?" And the answer is "he'll if I know." I then wander through the day in a daze, perpetually trying to get my head straight every day for the past few months with no sucess. Oh well, mine as well get really fucked up then. Odin I'm a mess.

Then again it could be worse, I could be a boring middle age man working an office job. I could have an organized life, and that would be just so much worse.

But I can't settle for this- I have to either kill myself or completely overhaul my life. Then again if I sit here in limbo a little longer I won't have to do either as long as Im in it.

Overhaul isn't a bad idea, you just have to really know what you want! Which I'm sure you've considered limbo probably means not knowing what you want too (correct me if I'm wrong). But what stirs you? Like maybe imagine your wildest dream life and then scale it down to things that you could actually do things to help achieve?

Fucking sucks that a lot of things you can want to have happen so badly are just things that have to happen on their own, not much you can do to work towards them (I was using the general you here).