Life's punching bag

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

That is me in a nutshell. I want to vent, so please don't interject with "thats not true" or anything positive

while I appreciate the sentiment, it is not what I need right now

Anyways, my brother has been abusing me as of late

I plan to have a family meeting to address his behavior towards me to my father (mom died so dont even ask)

Anyways, he lashes out at me and my dad. I believe our moms passing along with my dads abuse has been affecting him

My dad failed in this department, however he has had to be a single parents all at once and is also a nurse during this pandemic

Its been bad and my brother is walking ball of rage. And of course I am usually the target

All my life I have been a target. Moments like this suicide feels like a good thing

Impulsive suicide seems to not go so well though

I always thought of jumping off a bridge, however I dont want to think about water going into my lungs. But.....meh

who cares right? nobody did

Ever since I was abused at home and bullied in school, I realized nobody cares

Again, do not give any words of encouragement. This world has hurt me enough and I made up my mind

I am done

 

[Joey]

When you have the family meeting, your Dad can decide on what to really do, hopefully. I just hope that whatever happens in the meeting, maybe you and your Dad can decide to have him possibly move in with another family member? And I'm sorry that you have to put up with all of that nonsense. Being at 22 and having no way out because you can't move out..feeling trapped.

I'm watching what I say carefully and respecting your boundaries.

I won't post any positive advice or anything and all I can say is, we're here for you and I'll leave it as that.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

When you have the family meeting, your Dad can decide on what to really do, hopefully. I just hope that whatever happens in the meeting, maybe you and your Dad can decide to have him possibly move in with another family member? And I'm sorry that you have to put up with all of that nonsense. Being at 22 and having no way out because you can't move out..feeling trapped.

I'm watching what I say carefully and respecting your boundaries.

I won't post any positive advice or anything and all I can say is, we're here for you and I'll leave it as that.

Yeah I could get a job but I am a lazy fuck who wants to die so it doesn't matter

 

[Joey]

Yeah I could get a job but I am a lazy fuck who wants to die so it doesn't matter

Maybe you can get a part time job hopefully, if you find the motivation and that can be a part where it can possibly keep you sane and away from your brother. Depending on the area you live.

 

[DeathIsTheWayOut99]

Maybe you can get a part time job hopefully, if you find the motivation and that can be a part where it can possibly keep you sane and away from your brother. Depending on the area you live.

Suicide is easier

 

[Joey]

Suicide is easier

Just make sure to think things through carefully and go play some Pokémon :)

Just make sure to think things through carefully and go play some Pokémon. If you want to 1v1 on Switch, I gotchu :)

 

[Deleted member 17949]

That's not true + [other positive stuff].

My brother and father are also balls of rage at times ngl. They're not bad to the extent yours are, but I know it's frustrating walking around knowing that you could easily trigger someone's anger without really having to do much wrong. It's fine to feel fed up of life. Often I feel like, since everyone else just gets born fitting into the world naturally, why should I work myself to death trying to fit in better in a life I never even asked to have? All I did was be myself like everyone else did but I get bullied and fail at everything.

The world is a shitty and unfair place. Sorry you got an exceptionally bad pile of problems to deal with.