Venting Life was never something beautiful, it was always something very terrible.

[FuneralCry]

It certainly repulses me when I hear of life being referred to as being "beautiful" as that view will always be a harmful delusion to me, it's such a terrible lie as it's not beautiful that anyone has to suffer, existence was never something good or positive, existence just causes pain, existence was always a curse, a burden and a horrific, tragic mistake.

There's no benefit to existing, it just leads to suffering and decay, existing beings are only destined to suffer and in my case wishing for non-existence is just having awareness of this reality.

I will always find it horrible how non-existent beings are forced out of the ideal state of being unaware and are cursed with the ability to suffer, it's disgusting how existing beings end up being tortured all for no reason, it's unnecessary and unacceptable.

And it's simply beyond comprehension how much agony is being experienced in this hellish reality and it could never be "beautiful" how this cycle of endless suffering and senseless cruelty continues, it's a terrible tragedy.

There's no beauty in existing, I see existence as being enslavement, we are trapped in a decaying flesh prison where we are slaves to our suffering with no right to die in peace.

It's criminal how we cannot just easily escape from this existence in peace, it's further proof that existence is hell, it's enslavement rather than something full of beauty, the only beauty truly lies in permanent eternal sleep.

 

[Takamagahara]

FuneralCry, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but may I ask what's preventing you from CTB? Is it circumstances and the lack of a reliable method? The tyranny of a strong SI? I totally understand if that's the case. Some of us are trapped and forced to wait for an external death due to being unable to humanely grant it to ourselves.

Either way, I hope one day you'll find peace to your pain in one form or another. This might sound crass, but I hope you'll leave us one day--either because you've recovered, or because you're no longer suffering.

 

[CW36]

There's a plethora of wonderful things in this world that I've experienced. And the planet itself is quite extraordinary. There are problems, but it's not all doom and gloom as you keep seeming to suggest.

 

[exiled]

FuneralCry,

I am so sorry for how rough this life has been and for the depth of pain that you have felt for what seems like a large majority of your life. I know a lot of people have asked you why you choose to stay, and I understand that lack of resources and likelihood of failing are all deterrents. I am sorry that access is quite awful, especially if you are from the US. I know that firsthand, suicide is NOT an easy possibility here.

If I may say, though, is it possible for you to take a step back in imposing strong suicidal beliefs on others? I know you are hurting so much and you are offering compassion to those that feel so desperately alone. Heck, you have made me feel less alone when I have expressed my hatred for the pro-life approach.

I am not coming at you from a pro-life perspective but of one that is just not actively pro-suicide. Yes, people should have the right to make that choice. But... SS has gotten enough hate as it is from the pro-life community. Is it not worth it to try and help someone through every possible means necessary before "granting permission" to CTB? Sure, some may reject that help and they are WELL within their rights. But I think that this rhetoric of how awful life is is damaging to those who are in the same spot as you. Wanting to end it but not having the means necessary.

Obviously you are more than allowed and welcome to post about how you feel. But, I ask you to explore the idea of easing up on the pro-suicide tone in your response to others.

Sorry if this sounds like I am coming at you from an attacking perspective; that is not what I am intending here. I care about you, and I have no doubt you have given people a LOT of comfort and validation in your words. Like I stated earlier, you've given me a safe place to be honest too. But just remember, real lives are behind these screens. You can be supportive of CTB all day long, but let's not send the message that CTB is the best option for any and every person who comes across this forum on a bad day or a suffering life circumstance.

 

[Sad Avocado]

I agree with your vision now honestly, when seeing your first posts honeslty I was a little reluctant on your vision on life. But then I realised that the only moments I was "happy" in my life were the moments in which pain went away for a few minutes or when I solved a problem. Right after that bigger problems aroe in my life and then I realised that hapiness shouldn't be the absence of pain, happiness shouldn't be when you go to bed and escape from the reality by sleeping, life isn't happpiness.

 

[Hotsackage]

science is beautiful. i kno you must like science

 

[Kera]

@FuneralCry i agree with you only in part. I had a good life with ups and downs. I built up an existence. Family, financial and social security. But now, after a shitty accident, I'm suffering physically and psychologically. The state is a benefit state. Best not to get old and sick. Suicide attempt is treated like a crime!!!!

 

[FuneralCry]

FuneralCry, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but may I ask what's preventing you from CTB? Is it circumstances and the lack of a reliable method? The tyranny of a strong SI? I totally understand if that's the case. Some of us are trapped and forced to wait for an external death due to being unable to humanely grant it to ourselves.

Either way, I hope one day you'll find peace to your pain in one form or another. This might sound crass, but I hope you'll leave us one day--either because you've recovered, or because you're no longer suffering.

It's because we exist in a world where we are denied the option to just leave in a straightforward and guaranteed way in peace, for me all the methods are either inaccessible or risky, it's the unfortunate consequence of existing in such an anti-suicide society and failing a suicide attempt just sounds so horrible.

 

[John Ryder]

I mean, we get it? Sizzling in your own personal hell is one thing. Most everyone here relates. Presuming no one else has legit reason to be happy or find purpose, or is delusional not to have arrived at the same damning conclusions as you, is as reductive and patronizing as the pro-life savior who knows you just need the right hallmark card to get back on your feet. Even if you believe there's no inherent meaning to it, that we're byproducts of random chemical interaction and there's no intelligent design or coy deity testing our resolve with weirdly inconsistent life experiences, people create meaning all the time. The sheer novelty of being alive and sentient is enough for many. It was for me until it wasn't, and that's only because of impairments to quality of life that surpassed a personal threshold. I remember well what it was like to want to live, or at least to not explicitly want to die. I felt that way most of my life. This is the outlier, the new development. The idea anyone who just wants to enjoy a short as fuck ride that ends quick anyway is a fool for not exiting early is just short sighted to me. This isn't an attack but it is a challenge to a view I find very myopic

 

[Rogue Proxy]

This reminds me of one of my favorite quotes regarding life and death: "Life asked Death, 'Why do people love me, but hate you?' Death replied, 'Because you are a beautiful lie, and I am a painful truth.' "
-Unknown

 

[LaVieEnRose]

I mean, we get it? Sizzling in your own personal hell is one thing. Most everyone here relates. Presuming no one else has legit reason to be happy or find purpose, or is delusional not to have arrived at the same damning conclusions as you, is as reductive and patronizing as the pro-life savior who knows you just need the right hallmark card to get back on your feet. Even if you believe there's no inherent meaning to it, that we're byproducts of random chemical interaction and there's no intelligent design or coy deity testing our resolve with weirdly inconsistent life experiences, people create meaning all the time. The sheer novelty of being alive and sentient is enough for many. It was for me until it wasn't, and that's only because of impairments to quality of life that surpassed a personal threshold. I remember well what it was like to want to live, or at least to not explicitly want to die. I felt that way most of my life. This is the outlier, the new development. The idea anyone who just wants to enjoy a short as fuck ride that ends quick anyway is a fool for not exiting early is just short sighted to me. This isn't an attack but it is a challenge to a view I find very myopic

You're right, but countless people have been saying these things to her for a long time. But she's just not going to change her mind. I think the best thing is to just accept her for who she is or ignore her.

 

[John Ryder]

You're right, but countless people have been saying these things to her for a long time. But she's just not going to change her mind. I think the best thing is to just accept her for who she is or ignore her.

Oh I'm sure that sword fight has played out many times. Not expecting to convert, just putting my ballot in the box. In that sense I already accept her and I don't do ignore lists so I guess that leaves my default gear of casual indifference

 

[PrisonPlanet]

The only thing beautiful about this planet is MAYBE the tropical beaches with crystal clear water, or perhaps the beautiful mountainscapes. But in order to experience these things you need to have MONEY in order to travel. Money is something I've ALWAYS hated ever since I was a little kid. I've never been in a state of complete peace. I've always been trying to avoid negative things but the harder I try in life the more slipped away I get. It's like why even bother trying when I can just ctb? There's nothing beautiful about this wretched planet. Such unnecessary suffering on all levels.

 

[CW36]

It's because we exist in a world where we are denied the option to just leave in a straightforward and guaranteed way in peace, for me all the methods are either inaccessible or risky, it's the unfortunate consequence of existing in such an anti-suicide society and failing a suicide attempt just sounds so horrible.

Yes we know, we get it, but we can't change it, so why repeat the message over and over? People come here for comfort, communication and advice. There's often a difference between being negative 24/7 and wanting to CTB. I'm sorry you haven't experienced any joy in life, but to preach that the planet and life in general is all inherently evil and devoid of anything positive is absurd, and constantly scaring people about the risk of CTB is unhelpful. Especially for the younger adults, who might be looking for more hope than confirmation.

 

[saddestbunny]

i get rly happy when i think about dying now im glad im gonna be gone and wont have to worry about all this bullshit, even my constant anxiety about everything even this message but won't have to worry about anything when gone it'll be so peaceful and nice so i agree with u