Life "teaching you a lesson"

[Worthless_nobody]

I'm so sick of life teaching me lessons and having to experience things that are supposed to "make me stronger". It seems like everything I do and try is a dead end (literally because I'm planning ctb) and I have to learn things the hard way. It's just beyond disheartening to try and try and everything still fails.

People act like it's a good thing with the whole platitude spiel about hard life lessons and "that's just life everyone has to deal with stuff" and the terrible trite saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"....no all these things have made me want to die I'm not stronger.. I'm weaker than ever mentally and physically.

Life taught me a lesson alright and that lesson was that life is just a means to an end full of suffering along the way. All paths lead back to suicide for me.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I've never understood that kind of blindly optimistic mentality. I never got it, I don't get it, and I never will get it.

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I've never understood that kind of blindly optimistic mentality. I never got it, I don't get it, and I never will get it.

Same. I guess people who have lead relatively easy lives and had not experienced suffering or mental physical issues they might truly be that blindly optimistic. And also the fact that people like that can't fathom why a suicidal person feels the way they do and they down play or invalidate our suffering. The lack of compassion from them hurts. There are people just like this in my family.

 

[Superdeterminist]

Same. I guess people who have lead relatively easy lives and had not experienced suffering or mental physical issues they might truly be that blindly optimistic. And also the fact that people like that can't fathom why a suicidal person feels the way they do and they down play or invalidate our suffering. The lack of compassion from them hurts. There are people just like this in my family.

Same for me, and yes, it's regrettable that they'll never really get it, although they probably say the same about their feelings. In my opinion, it's not worth enduring suffering even if it produces a good outcome afterwards. Suffering is suffering, and I want none of it. Why should I have to suffer just to experience joy? And as for joy...it never seems to last, so it's hard to stay motivated in chasing it.

 

[Wayfaerer]

Life isn't about learning, it's about nothing.

 

[Whenhopelostmemory]

Life isn't about learning, it's about nothing.

Touché

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

bad things happen just because. there's no deeper meaning to it. people suffer for no reason. and people can't accept that, so they try to 'look at the bright side'.

 

[TAW122]

I think in the grand scheme of things, the universe doesn't care, has no capacity to care, but things happen just because (objectively speaking, there is no real reason or real meaning to life). I too, find that platitude to be annoying and dismissive. While recently, I haven't encountered it, I have had my share of ignorant people who spew those things as a way to dismiss my grievances and claims. I do agree with you that at the end of life, there lies 'death' and is quite fitting with the quote of there is nothing guaranteed in life except taxes and death.

 

[ladolcemorte]

Funny, I was thinking about this the other day. A friend who is in her 60s was telling me stories along the theme of "the universe has a reason...and bad experiences ended up being just what I needed in that moment", yadda yadda yadda...

And I thought "wow, what a load of bulls***" When I experienced adversity in my career for the first time (not getting a high paying job after having indebted myself into oblivion to go to a prestigious school and having literally worked myself half to death to get good grades at that school), I told myself that "things happen for a reason", and maybe I was supposed to end up in that small town. (I also thought maybe the reason was so I could meet the love of my life, until he broke up with me...)

The second time I faced adversity (a lengthy period of unemployment followed by bankruptcy), I told myself the same platitudes. I did the same thing when I faced the third, fourth, fifth, and sixth lengthy periods of adversity. But now, in the middle of yet another life crisis, I just can't buy it anymore. I feel like I am just replaying the shittiest time of my life on a loop over and over, and I have no idea what I am supposed to be "learning".

I am so tired of hearing "things happen for a reason". Oh really? Why don't you go tell children who are sold into human trafficking that their suffering has some profound cosmic purpose? Or explain why other children are born into worlds of mansions, pools, private schools, and trust funds.(After all, if you believe bad things happen for a reason, you must believe that good things also happen for a reason...)

 

[Escargot Shorts]

once, i shared that someone close to me had died very traumatically (like full-blown murder) and i was asked if this lead to a positive change in my life. and i thought briefly and was like "no, she just died, that's all"

the ones who thought they'd be closer as a result ended up more fractured and divided, the relationship that bloomed between two grieving people is looking like it's on its last legs, and like yeah, a lot of people just got damaged.

personally, i'm kinda doing great. but not because of the traumatic event or in spite of it.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Suffering doesn't make you stronger, it gives you trauma. It doesn't teach you a valuable lesson, it leaves you with permeneant scars. Look at anyone who self-harms due to sexual abuse, or soldiers who have PTSD after experiencing combat. Now come back and tell me that it's good for character. Those who say otherwise are fortunate enough to not have reached their limit.

 

[Ghost2211]

It looks more like life is punishing rather than teaching. What lessons come from some of the more horrific injustices in our world? People getting beat by cops just for being black, women getting sex traffic, children being tortured to death by twisted shit parents, people being hunted and murdered for being gay, and the list goes on seemingly forever. A lesson is something that we can learn from and grow from, but things like these teachers nothing and don't help us grow but rather crush and destroy any slight spark of joy that remains. This world is a sick and twisted place, and simply a source of punishment rather than lessons.