Venting life status

[overtakee]

After some time i'm back on this website and just like always and before, all is the same. Nothing has changed and by nothing I mean absolutely nothing. I'm unemployed, have no future ahead of me or anything else going for me at all. I'm just stuck on the past and can't seem to ever let go of things that have already happened. I'm stuck in my head repeating things all over, imagining how things could've been different but they just aren't and i'm left reminiscing while my life is falling apart. I'm just overwhelmed and confused and I wish that I could just end everything but not even that is an option. I distance myself from other people and isolate myself completely which fucks with my mental health more and more as i'm left alone. I don't know if or how things will change but even that's something i'm afraid of. I can't seem to get anything right, I push other people away due to my feelings and just feel worse after. I'm just lost but it's so hard to get out of something like this when it brings you some type of comfort at the same time.