ijustwishtodie
death will be my ultimate bliss
- Oct 29, 2023
- 3,874
I vented about this before but something happened today that makes me want to vent about it again as it really honed in on the idea that life isn't meant for me.
It's actually shocking as to how different I am from normies and even most SS members. I have a different modus operandi compared to almost everybody on earth. I'm on a different wavelength to normies and, subsequently, normies are on a different wavelength to me. I can't understand them nor can they understand me. An example of this is how people love to socialise whereas socialising makes me miserable. Whenever I socialise with others, I get a sharp pain in my chest along with a lot of anxiety. I don't want to adapt to this; I instead want to avoid socialising entirely. I shouldn't be ridiculed for doing so as it's unfair to force me to do stuff.
Another way I'm different to normies is the way how they like to adapt to every challenge that they get whilst I just give up easily. I believe that there isn't anything wrong in what I do. I refuse to let normies try and bully me or guilt trip me for not adapting to my issues. I was born against my will so why should I even have to adapt to life in the first place? It's life that should be adapting to me, not the other way around. If people don't want to adapt to me, that would be fine so long as they offer me a peaceful way out of here.
This leads to my next point about how people are so cruel to where they won't offer euthanasia to me. I don't have enough on my plate to work through life. I get dizzy easily from merely washing the dishes and I get terrified as hell from the idea of socialising irl so how the hell is anybody like me even meant to navigate through life? However, you shouldn't interpret this as me wanting to navigate through life (this isn't the recovery section after all) as I don't have any desires to navigate through life. I don't want to adapt. I want to be myself and be free from responsibilities and society's demands to make me a wage slave.
I hate that I'm forced to do things that I don't want to do. It's absolutely unfair and it's just unethical to force me to stay alive. The only reason why I'm even alive is because society likes control and needs slaves. I deserve better than this life because I never asked for this life. I truly do deserve better and the only thing that is better which I can access is death as it's permanent cessation of all suffering and pain.
I get pain merely by being alive. For every second in my life where I'm awake, I'm always stressed about thinking about all of the responsibilities and work that I have to do. Even when I indulge in mindless escapism to pass the time, I still feel stressed over life. It's unethical to force me to stay alive when I get pain from merely being a human
It's actually shocking as to how different I am from normies and even most SS members. I have a different modus operandi compared to almost everybody on earth. I'm on a different wavelength to normies and, subsequently, normies are on a different wavelength to me. I can't understand them nor can they understand me. An example of this is how people love to socialise whereas socialising makes me miserable. Whenever I socialise with others, I get a sharp pain in my chest along with a lot of anxiety. I don't want to adapt to this; I instead want to avoid socialising entirely. I shouldn't be ridiculed for doing so as it's unfair to force me to do stuff.
Another way I'm different to normies is the way how they like to adapt to every challenge that they get whilst I just give up easily. I believe that there isn't anything wrong in what I do. I refuse to let normies try and bully me or guilt trip me for not adapting to my issues. I was born against my will so why should I even have to adapt to life in the first place? It's life that should be adapting to me, not the other way around. If people don't want to adapt to me, that would be fine so long as they offer me a peaceful way out of here.
This leads to my next point about how people are so cruel to where they won't offer euthanasia to me. I don't have enough on my plate to work through life. I get dizzy easily from merely washing the dishes and I get terrified as hell from the idea of socialising irl so how the hell is anybody like me even meant to navigate through life? However, you shouldn't interpret this as me wanting to navigate through life (this isn't the recovery section after all) as I don't have any desires to navigate through life. I don't want to adapt. I want to be myself and be free from responsibilities and society's demands to make me a wage slave.
I hate that I'm forced to do things that I don't want to do. It's absolutely unfair and it's just unethical to force me to stay alive. The only reason why I'm even alive is because society likes control and needs slaves. I deserve better than this life because I never asked for this life. I truly do deserve better and the only thing that is better which I can access is death as it's permanent cessation of all suffering and pain.
I get pain merely by being alive. For every second in my life where I'm awake, I'm always stressed about thinking about all of the responsibilities and work that I have to do. Even when I indulge in mindless escapism to pass the time, I still feel stressed over life. It's unethical to force me to stay alive when I get pain from merely being a human
