life isn't worth the pain and suffering

[Darkover]

There's nothing redeemable or virtuous of the mere fact that your able to receive necessities in order
to sustain survival or comfort. You'll say something along the lines this is a necessary evil, and that we have no choice,
that nothing is free, that the alternative is worse, I say no. I understand life has to be this way due to nature itself
but I cannot accept living in a reality or society that essentially coerces us to do so. Especially a society that condemns
suicide even while more humane methods are more readily accessible to grant those who are not willing to partake in such an event.
One they did not ask or couldn't have asked for.

I get that you may have found meaning, happiness purpose, etc for whatever reason but many like me cannot find any solution
to this madness and we're forced to suffer more so for people like you who won't see it this way. Being reduced down to
having a mental illness thus people with our views aren't valid does not strengthen your argument against me.

Who would willingly choose to live on a earth that requires you to give up most of your day to something you would never
do willingly wouldn't you rather not be apart of a world that forces you into such a dilemma were the only other option
in life is shame, starvation, homelessness?

Happiness:

Happiness isn't even sustainable atleast not in the way modern society or the populous defines it. With studies like
hedonistic treadmill and terms like chasing the dragon the human condition can't sustain happiness at a particular
level meaning you'll always feel some sort of misery or discomfort eventually and indefinitely.

Being content may be achievable but nobody is happy 100% of the time but someone is without doubt miserable 100% of the time.
That should imply and give you insight into what the nature of existence is all about. The simple fact that doing merely nothing
and our capacity to feel boredom implies that life isn't even inherently positive but rather one of negativity.

Even if we do feel moments of a joy is it not few and far between compared to our pain or suffering? 10 minutes of torture can feel indefinitely
worse and do more damage conversely than a year of "happiness" would ever provide for you. If not we obtain happiness or fulfillment than isn't
life merely a futile experience?

Anti-Natalism:

Assigning negativity to birth. For what justifies another human to impose this reality on another being? Would it not be better if we didn't exist and didn't have to
suffer at all?

We all die anyhow, nobody is remembered, nobody even really cares about you when you're alive. Convince me why I should accept a raw deal, that life is a gift,
that I should I turn the other cheek other than "that's life" deal with it?

Life can be filled with moments of joy, love, and fulfillment yes but it also can be filled with depression, pain, misery more so. Bringing a child into this world
is a risk because you cannot guarantee this child would want to be born in the first place or enjoy life.

With the only way out of this condition imposed being death or suicide and since death is something we are conditioned to fear or avoid in the first place it can
become nothing but psychologically a burden to merely exist.

 

[FuneralCry]

Yes it truly would be better to never exist at all. Having the ability to exist is beyond undesirable in every way possible, it's just meaningless and pointless suffering. It really disgusts me how we exist in this hellish anti-suicide society where suicide isn't seen as a valid option despite this, existence isn't a "gift" but rather a hellish and harmful imposition that I'd prefer to permanently escape from no matter what.

 

[All_is_in_vanity]

This is such an unfortunate truth. Yet I still cling to life. Am I evil? Am I crazy?

 

[PathtoDie]

I agree with you a 100%. As you've said, happiness is nothing compared to pain & suffering. For example, most of the day I feel bored. If I watch something funny or laugh with my family, the happiness will last for a combined 10 minutes in the entire day. But if I experience a severe migraine, even after taking multiple pills, it will last for the entire day.

These days I've lost all emotions apart from laughter. Like, if I watch a film or a show, nothing gets me scared or sad or angry.

As @FuneralCry said I only wish to stop existing in this hellish realm. I can't do this anymore.

I'm completely trapped physically because of my family. I'm unable to go away because they're keeping a constant watch. There's a mountain nearby that would do the job but getting out of the house seems impossible.

I also somehow managed to get SN but can't use it because my father got ahold of it and made a "deal" that I'd only use it if something happens to one of my family members.

My family's not at all evil, in fact they're way too kind to someone like me who's always angry and pissed off at life. They just can't bear to see me die, that's all. And because of that, they're unable to understand how much I have to keep suffering.

One time I managed to book a cab and almost got into it before my father came running and told the driver to go away lol. It was quite embarrassing.

 

[abchia]

Society's answer to what's the point of life, aside from producing MORE life, is always to make one's life meaningful. What's the point of that? Why do I even need to search for meaning and happiness anyways? It's not worth the struggle, searching for something that will probably never be enough.
Everything would have been perfect if I wasn't put here in the first place.