Life is wonderful

[Davey36000]

When I'm not under the effects of anxiety or depression.

These two have been following me my entire life like a curse, and severely stunted my growth as a person.

But as soon as I take a strong anxyolitic like Xanax, everything is suddenly fine.

I haven't had much look with antidepressants and they just take too long.

Microdosing psychedelics might work but I dunno.

Dunno why many of us have this unnecessary curse but it really makes everything much more difficult.

I read that spiritual enlightment is exactly like that, the abandonment and giving up of all anxieties.

 

[wagner2029]

When I'm not under the effects of anxiety or depression.

These two have been following me my entire life like a curse, and severely stunted my growth as a person.

But as soon as I take a strong anxyolitic like Xanax, everything is suddenly fine.

I haven't had much look with antidepressants and they just take too long.

Microdosing psychedelics might work but I dunno.

Dunno why many of us have this unnecessary curse but it really makes everything much more difficult.

I read that spiritual enlightment is exactly like that, the abandonment and giving up of all anxieties.

there are people who suffer from the heart, others suffer from the stomach, others with mobility problems, we suffer from head problems.
I was noticing a person on the street, he couldn't walk, but he seemed so full of life, I had a bad conscience for having a functional body and wanting to get rid of it.
There is no cure, you have to learn to live with it.

 

[Henryk]

there are people who suffer from the heart, others suffer from the stomach, others with mobility problems, we suffer from head problems.
I was noticing a person on the street, he couldn't walk, but he seemed so full of life, I had a bad conscience for having a functional body and wanting to get rid of it.
There is no cure, you have to learn to live with it.

I think this is an important point, they always compared me with people in much worse situations than mine and showed me how these people still managed to be happy, I really wish I was like that but unfortunately I'm not! I am a weak and sick person who no longer sees the meaning in life, I congratulate anyone who manages to live in this world happily, but that is not my case.

 

[ihatethisplanet]

My mood infinitely improves once the Klonopin starts working and the anxiety is lifted. None of that CBT or mindfulness BS works - the medication does. And apparently I'm one of the few who follows directions and doesn't overuse it. They're going to crack down even further on benzos in the US and then I'll be doomed to a life without any relief unless I try drinking or something. Propranolol can help the racing heart but not the other effects.

Cancer patients have to deal with a similar problem. Even they now have a hard time accessing the pain medication they need. I've heard of several stories. Everyone must be punished because some people can't be trusted.

SSRIs are useless. I stay on one to satisfy my practitioner but I only keep going for refills on Lamictal and Klonopin, the only two things that made any kind of difference.

Does your anxiety and depression run in your family? It's rife on my mother's side and I was cursed with it practically from birth.

ETA: I realize my posts are all bitter and angry. This forum is the only place where I can drop the pleasant act and be honest. I'm incredibly grateful for it.

 

[wagner2029]

I think this is an important point, they always compared me with people in much worse situations than mine and showed me how these people still managed to be happy, I really wish I was like that but unfortunately I'm not! I am a weak and sick person who no longer sees the meaning in life, I congratulate anyone who manages to live in this world happily, but that is not my case.

I'm not comparing, I'm just saying that everyone has their own cross to carry.

 

[Davey36000]

My mood infinitely improves once the Klonopin starts working and the anxiety is lifted. None of that CBT or mindfulness BS works - the medication does. And apparently I'm one of the few who follows directions and doesn't overuse it. They're going to crack down even further on benzos in the US and then I'll be doomed to a life without any relief unless I try drinking or something. Propranolol can help the racing heart but not the other effects.

Cancer patients have to deal with a similar problem. Even they now have a hard time accessing the pain medication they need. I've heard of several stories. Everyone must be punished because some people can't be trusted.

SSRIs are useless. I stay on one to satisfy my practitioner but I only keep going for refills on Lamictal and Klonopin, the only two things that made any kind of difference.

Does your anxiety and depression run in your family? It's rife on my mother's side and I was cursed with it practically from birth.

ETA: I realize my posts are all bitter and angry. This forum is the only place where I can drop the pleasant act and be honest. I'm incredibly grateful for it.

Yes the SSRI's are really shitty. I will go the doctor again and ask for something "strong", otherwise I won't even bother.

Mindfulness works in certain regards but still hasn't worked for me in a fulfilling way in terms of anxiety/depression.

And yes my mother also had anxiety to the point of shortness of breath sometimes. And now I experience that too.

I've read as a lack of of love when you're a toddler so you end up growing up "lonely" and "on your own'.

So one of the things I really envy is people who had happy upbringings, happy families, and consequently happy and successful lives.

Psychedelics might help but my current set and setting is not good.


Anxiety in response to the environment (slightly shitty society), still has some merit but maybe in out case it's just too much.


Physical illness are bad but mental ones take any joy/happiness out of life.

So I haven't done almost anything I wanted in life in part because of it.