H
HeavenOnlyKnows
Member
- Apr 17, 2022
- 8
Sometimes on social media people discuss "main character syndrome," where someone is so full of themselves that they believe that everyone is obsessed with them and their perspective on every little thing. I have the opposite: non-playable character (NPC) syndrome. I only exist as long as the main character is directly looking at me and needs me to furnish some superficial characterization for their own benefit. Then, once they rush off on another adventure, I fade back into the noise of the game's code.
If I thought I was the MC then every problem would be surmountable because I'd be guaranteed justice and a "happily ever after". Games are usually meritocracies: If you follow the directions you'll eventually win. But that has never been my life. I'm currently facing the possibility of falling into poverty because of the pandemic/inflation/housing crisis and I keep thinking, "well maybe I should just stand up to the crooks and then they'll be forced to help me." Except no, that would depend on my voice mattering. People like me don't effect meaningful change either for themselves or others; we go along with the current because we don't have the roots to keep us firmly connected to the ground. I want to die but I don't have access to the prescription medication I need. So here I am, waiting for life to take me out naturally to further the plot. It's been a very long wait. I'm tired.
If I thought I was the MC then every problem would be surmountable because I'd be guaranteed justice and a "happily ever after". Games are usually meritocracies: If you follow the directions you'll eventually win. But that has never been my life. I'm currently facing the possibility of falling into poverty because of the pandemic/inflation/housing crisis and I keep thinking, "well maybe I should just stand up to the crooks and then they'll be forced to help me." Except no, that would depend on my voice mattering. People like me don't effect meaningful change either for themselves or others; we go along with the current because we don't have the roots to keep us firmly connected to the ground. I want to die but I don't have access to the prescription medication I need. So here I am, waiting for life to take me out naturally to further the plot. It's been a very long wait. I'm tired.