LadyAlastor
Fading In And out losing time with the two I love.
- Jan 13, 2020
- 152
Spend a very long time since I've made a post here, But I need to vent.
Life for me thus far has been very strenuous, Extremely stressful, I feel like I'm almost at ground 0 again. My ID expired, My insurance is using my dead name for some reason or another Even though I had my name changed in 2017, So now people are using my dead name and that's just a s*** feeling. Looking for work has been the most daunting task ever as of late because well first off I don't have my ID and almost nobody pays under the table anymore. And even when I did have my ID when it wasn't expired I was still having trouble like nobody is hiring.
And to make things worse because medical people looked at my insurance and saw my dead and name they think I have insurance when that's not the case it's not under my name or even under my identity, So now because of that they're going to bill me even though I don't have the money to pay for that.
My girlfriend is in so much constant pain and has so many health issues she can't work all while she's trying to get on disability all while my boyfriend (yes I'm in a polyamorous relationship) Is working 40 hours a week But even then we still don't have enough money to cover things like rent where 2 months behind on rent that's just something that's been driving me through a loop because I know we wouldn't be behind if I had work and the fact that I don't have work and I've been at work for like 2 years it's just awful I don't know how else to describe it other than it's awful.
I'm just not okay, I would like to be okay but I'm not I never really have been but this is a different feeling feeling I have been felt in a long time and I really hate it.
Like I knew the economy was bad but God damn, I just don't want my worst fear to happen again and that's being homeless. If it's one thing I promised myself years ago was I wasn't gonna die on the streets.
I can't let that happen.
However my landlord wants us to pay money we really don't have. Being backed up 2 months on rent it is a pain when it's 1850 a month.
This world sucks and I really hate it even if things got better I still would feel the same way.
Life for me thus far has been very strenuous, Extremely stressful, I feel like I'm almost at ground 0 again. My ID expired, My insurance is using my dead name for some reason or another Even though I had my name changed in 2017, So now people are using my dead name and that's just a s*** feeling. Looking for work has been the most daunting task ever as of late because well first off I don't have my ID and almost nobody pays under the table anymore. And even when I did have my ID when it wasn't expired I was still having trouble like nobody is hiring.
And to make things worse because medical people looked at my insurance and saw my dead and name they think I have insurance when that's not the case it's not under my name or even under my identity, So now because of that they're going to bill me even though I don't have the money to pay for that.
My girlfriend is in so much constant pain and has so many health issues she can't work all while she's trying to get on disability all while my boyfriend (yes I'm in a polyamorous relationship) Is working 40 hours a week But even then we still don't have enough money to cover things like rent where 2 months behind on rent that's just something that's been driving me through a loop because I know we wouldn't be behind if I had work and the fact that I don't have work and I've been at work for like 2 years it's just awful I don't know how else to describe it other than it's awful.
I'm just not okay, I would like to be okay but I'm not I never really have been but this is a different feeling feeling I have been felt in a long time and I really hate it.
Like I knew the economy was bad but God damn, I just don't want my worst fear to happen again and that's being homeless. If it's one thing I promised myself years ago was I wasn't gonna die on the streets.
I can't let that happen.
However my landlord wants us to pay money we really don't have. Being backed up 2 months on rent it is a pain when it's 1850 a month.
This world sucks and I really hate it even if things got better I still would feel the same way.
