A little less than a year ago I jumped out of bed every morning excited about life. I had a girlfriend that fucking adored me. I had goals. I was able to feel fulfilled and happy. I loved myself. Now its all gone and im fucked. I have no way out of the hole im in. Ive had a painless swollen lymph node on my neck for 2+ years that ive ignored and just this morning I saw that it could be a symptom of lymphoma. I am hoping it is even though im only 20 so its very unlikely. If I told myself a year ago that I would be wishing for cancer I dont think I would be able to believe it. Isnt that insane? I catch myself all the time thinking "maybe none of this is real and everything will be okay" but I know even though it doesnt feel like real life, it is, and im completely fucked. I would do anything to go back in time and just live 2022, and the first third of 2023 again on repeat forever.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 37,324
It's cruel how people have to suffer so much in this existence with no limit as to how awful existing can get but anyway I wish you the best.
