mossball
Member
- Apr 6, 2021
- 49
I'd been testing partial suspension with no luck and my partner caught wind of it. He and his family have always been there for me when my family wasn't and he's known about my depression and suicidal thoughts for years. He and my best friend talked to me at length to convince me that my judgement is impaired and I should listen to them and seek help.
I listened to them. We'd go to a hospital covered by my insurance and I'd tell someone there I wanted to ctb. My partner and his sister said one of them would sign for me because someone has to even if I'm an adult. I agreed and the hospital staff gave me valium and some other shit so I'd sleep it off?? and I had to tell them that I wanted to ctb again when I woke up.
A nurse came and tested me for a bunch of shit. She said they'd found a spot at a psych clinic and they'd transfer me in the morning. Morning came and it was a different nurse. She greeted me, looked at my boyfriend and asked why my parents weren't supporting me on this "journey". So I said my parents didn't believe in mental illness and they'd abuse me if they knew I was there. She immediately went on a tirade about motherly love, how my mom loved me no matter what was done, etc. I stopped her and she seemed offended.
Next time the nurse came by she declared we HAD to call my parents and they HAD to sign as responsible for me. I'd always been told that any adult could sign for another adult – which I am. So I asked her if my parents had the right to deny my treatment and she said that they didn't, cause I HAD to be sent to the psych ward, and in that case someone else could sign.
So I gave her my parents phone numbers cause I'm fucking stupid. They called my parents and a while later she came back and said "Oh no, it seems like that spot at the clinic has been occupied, seems like you'll have to wait here." At this point I was already paranoid she was lying to me and buying time for my parents to show up.
A doctor came by and said that actually my parents could deny my treatment if they wanted to. I tried to get more info and he started kinda yelling "HOW YOU, SOMEONE WHO HAS SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, WHICH IS BAD ENOUGH, BUT ALSO PUT ROPE AROUND YOUR NECK, THINK YOU CAN DECIDE..." – and he said all that in front of another patient who had kidney stones or whatever. Fucking humiliating.
So yeah. You guessed it. They were indeed buying time for my parents to get there (8 hour trip) so they could surrender me to them. When they arrived, a doctor asked me to talk to them because "They really care about you, they've traveled all this way to see you, you HAVE to talk to them". I asked to have a few minutes to calm down. He said sure, but he immediately brought them into the room.
And that's how a hospital surrendered me into the care of the people who've neglected my mental health and emotionally, sometimes physically, abused me my whole life. I'm under constant surveillance and will have to go to a psychiatrist of their choosing. Thank you, healthcare system, for giving me will to live. I'm fucking cured now. Assholes.
I listened to them. We'd go to a hospital covered by my insurance and I'd tell someone there I wanted to ctb. My partner and his sister said one of them would sign for me because someone has to even if I'm an adult. I agreed and the hospital staff gave me valium and some other shit so I'd sleep it off?? and I had to tell them that I wanted to ctb again when I woke up.
A nurse came and tested me for a bunch of shit. She said they'd found a spot at a psych clinic and they'd transfer me in the morning. Morning came and it was a different nurse. She greeted me, looked at my boyfriend and asked why my parents weren't supporting me on this "journey". So I said my parents didn't believe in mental illness and they'd abuse me if they knew I was there. She immediately went on a tirade about motherly love, how my mom loved me no matter what was done, etc. I stopped her and she seemed offended.
Next time the nurse came by she declared we HAD to call my parents and they HAD to sign as responsible for me. I'd always been told that any adult could sign for another adult – which I am. So I asked her if my parents had the right to deny my treatment and she said that they didn't, cause I HAD to be sent to the psych ward, and in that case someone else could sign.
So I gave her my parents phone numbers cause I'm fucking stupid. They called my parents and a while later she came back and said "Oh no, it seems like that spot at the clinic has been occupied, seems like you'll have to wait here." At this point I was already paranoid she was lying to me and buying time for my parents to show up.
A doctor came by and said that actually my parents could deny my treatment if they wanted to. I tried to get more info and he started kinda yelling "HOW YOU, SOMEONE WHO HAS SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, WHICH IS BAD ENOUGH, BUT ALSO PUT ROPE AROUND YOUR NECK, THINK YOU CAN DECIDE..." – and he said all that in front of another patient who had kidney stones or whatever. Fucking humiliating.
So yeah. You guessed it. They were indeed buying time for my parents to get there (8 hour trip) so they could surrender me to them. When they arrived, a doctor asked me to talk to them because "They really care about you, they've traveled all this way to see you, you HAVE to talk to them". I asked to have a few minutes to calm down. He said sure, but he immediately brought them into the room.
And that's how a hospital surrendered me into the care of the people who've neglected my mental health and emotionally, sometimes physically, abused me my whole life. I'm under constant surveillance and will have to go to a psychiatrist of their choosing. Thank you, healthcare system, for giving me will to live. I'm fucking cured now. Assholes.
