Discussion Letting the world forget you

[HyenaRadio]

Does anyone else have the urge to completely destroy any evidence of yourself before you ctb?

Like I knows it's impractical and I probably won't end up doing this but before I die I want to give away most of my things, destroy the rest, and leave no history of my existence. I don't want to leave anyone with anything.

Is this weird?

 

[Hugh Class]

Yes.... my laptops are destroyed right now. I have no social media. I have 2 cell phones....and they will be destoyed on my ctb night. I don't want any memory of me to be left. No photos....no memories of my life.

99.9% of my belongings were thrown in the trash..... only a few clothes are left.

 

[HyenaRadio]

Are you able to explain the though behind it? I'm interested in your input on this!
I've been trying to figure out exactly why I have the urge to do this but I can't put my finger on it.

If you can't/ don't want to I completely understand! This is a extremely personal topic.

 

[SVEN]

Apart from 2 or 3 folk, I'm not really sure that anyone notices that I'm here anyway. People just talk past me or ignore me, so I don't have to worry about leaving a mark behind me.

 

[hypertext]

i have a lot of stuff, i sometimes wonder if i'm a hoarder although i keep my space relatively clean. i've thought about this a lot because i don't want my family to have to clean all this stuff out of my apartment, but i don't know if i would really want to get rid of it all... maybe i would box everything up so it's easy to move and look through and throw away

 

[Hugh Class]

Are you able to explain the though behind it? I'm interested in your input on this!
I've been trying to figure out exactly why I have the urge to do this but I can't put my finger on it.

If you can't/ don't want to I completely understand! This is a extremely personal topic.

I feel this way....because my entire life has been a failure... caused by people who have taken advantage of me over my lifetime .... stolen money, my belongings and opportunities from me, used me to advance their career/life at my expense. Leaving me to pick up the pieces over and over....and this time...i have been left destitute from being used and lied too.

I guess.... i dont want people to remember me, because of my failures... and how I am a gullible fool to be taken advantage of... its humiliating. I just want to be forgotten.

 

[HyenaRadio]

I guess.... i dont want people to remember me, because of my failures... and how I am a gullible fool to be taken advantage of... its humiliating. I just want to be forgotten.

There's something so comforting about being forgotten. Like at the end all of me gets to rest, even my memory.

 

[trist]

yes, i want to be completely erased and forgotten, as if i didn't exist in the first place. i can give most of my stuff away but unfortunately i can't erase people's memories of me.

 

[HyenaRadio]

i have a lot of stuff, i sometimes wonder if i'm a hoarder although i keep my space relatively clean. i've thought about this a lot because i don't want my family to have to clean all this stuff out of my apartment, but i don't know if i would really want to get rid of it all... maybe i would box everything up so it's easy to move and look through and throw away

I've always been a organized maximalist so I completely get it. Boxing up everything isn't something I've ever considered before but would certainly be more practical then just throwing it all out. It's also definitely more considerate to friends/family.

 

[Mirrory Me]

If someone close to you passed away, it would be nice if they would have spent time with you. Then you'd know it wasn't your fault they died. At least leave a note behind.

 

[AresCohere]

Does anyone else have the urge to completely destroy any evidence of yourself before you ctb?

Like I knows it's impractical and I probably won't end up doing this but before I die I want to give away most of my things, destroy the rest, and leave no history of my existence. I don't want to leave anyone with anything.

Is this weird?

That's exactly what I'm trying to do. Luckily when it comes to people who know me IRL I'm moving far far away soon, so they won't even know what happens. I wont even be near my parents so I'm sure within a few months at max I will be fully forgotten by everyone. My biggest issue is people I know online. At some point they found out about my time on here months ago but I have sense convinced them that I am better now so they should forget if I just slowly leave.

Annoyingly they also have the best shot at trying to stop me so if they ever found me here again (new account that has no connection to any other name I've used) then I might be fucked.

 

[spacehardware]

Yes. I am embarrassed by my existence. Part of me wants to do this, remove my social media accounts, blogs and such before I go. I'd rather not have a funeral. I want to be forgotten, as if I never was here at all.

Problem is, I have been the one left behind too, two of my closest friends have ctb and I cannot help but search for remaining traces of them. I scour the internet for footprints they have left behind, and when I find comments, posts, photos, it's like finding gold dust. So I am in two minds, knowing what this means as someone left behind, how hard it might be for my family if I delete everything. I know I'll be dead then and it won't matter, I just don't want anyone to think I've done it to spite them. Deleting everything would be for me.

 

[Das Nichts]

I've always been fascinated by concepts like the void, the ocean, the universe - something
immensely greater then yourself that swallows you up completely.

As for my earthly possessions: I only have stuff that is of practical use, I have enough money to
live a good life - but it brings me no joy nor is there anything I could buy that would bring me any
pleasure.

I don't have much family, so my money will go to them. They don't need it because they have enough
for themselves. So all I did the last years - it's for nothing.

 

[rui]

yes, whenever I think of the perfect way to go, it's with all my photos gone and just about everything about me gone. Personally, I don't like how I look and the thought of people I love so dearly looking at me when I am gone makes me feel downright horrible. I would hate if anyone wasted their guilt or remorse over me. I just want everybody to forget I existed and be happy.

 

[JosefOmbindi]

I've felt this way since I was a kid mostly due to self-loathing around autism and being gender non conforming. I wrote a song when I was like 12 where I expressed wanting everyone who ever knew me to die. Nowadays, it's manifesting in compulsions like not allowing myself to have any friends or make any art. I don't want to plant any more seeds while I'm alive.