Discussion Letting go

[bearbrikk]

I think this topic has been discussed for ages. If I speak for myself, Not being able to let go is my cause of pain. Mostly. I have been in therapy for over 7 years now and there is just no clear answer. If you ask people, who were able to let something go, how they did it, they answer with ´´I just did it´´. Even after all these years, I am still searching for an answer. Yes, I tried not searching for it as well. I just need an answer because of my BPD, the pain is just insufferable. Please share your experience. Have you ever let something, better yet someone go? How?

 

[the_path_of_sorrows]

Because of my own BPD, I get you too well. Sadly, haven't found the answer yet. Most of the possible strategies cause dissociation to worsen to the level of not being able to react with proper emotions. Only in dissociative states I'm able to "let go".

 

[Bruce]

No!

Why would I let anything or anyone go? Anything is good, is right and anyone was worth it. I'm proud of who I am, of what I did.

 

[Ash]

I have. I've got BPD so get where you're coming from in that respect. I walked away from a solid relationship with someone who was kind and caring and loving and generous - everything you look for. Everything you want. Before I even knew what BPD was, before I knew I had it. Hours later I knew I'd made a huge mistake and there was still time to turn it around but I had BPD without knowing it so continued making the same mistakes and didn't fix things while I could. Anyway, a few years passed and I met up with my ex and I realised how much we'd both changed and that because of the changes, the spark that had first attracted me was no longer there. So in that moment I did it. All the regrets and the possessiveness and the late night longings. They went. The memories remained. Sweet and happy and passionate etc etc etc. But definitely in the past where they belonged. For good or for bad, it was over. Closure, some people call it. Whatever. There was a moment of clarity. We're no longer the same people.

It was like driving past my old secondary school after I'd graduated from university and realising I was a totally different person at 21 than I'd been at 18. Same sitting down to do A Levels compared to doing GCSEs. When you see a childhood momento and feel so close to it but acknowledge all the years in between.

That acknowledgement is letting it go.