B
badtothebone
Member
- Aug 20, 2024
- 54
This grief changed me. The sadness changed me. The anger changed me. The guilt hunting me. I'm no longer the person I was. I can't recognize myself. I question how I'm still alive without you my gorgeous beautiful child my handsome young man. Nothing is normal in my life anymore. Normal left earth with you. Happiness left with you. I cry when I remember you. I cry when I wake up in the morning without you. I cry when I'm driving to work, I cry when I go my lunch time, I cry when I'm going home because my home with you. I cry under the shower so none can hear me. I use eye classes now. I wear black. I donated all my clothes along with yours. I died too. The table is empty we don't even sit on the table anymore. Your dog hunter didn't give up, he still wait by the window every evening waiting for you to come home. Your brother and sister watching me dying every night. Your sister Emily asked me yesterday "what's wrong mommy?" Im falling a part. I'm dead I'm not alive. Your gaming computer, your headphones your gaming chair are just memories burns my heart every time I go to your room. If I upset you I never meant to. If I didn't see you depressed it's because I just didn't know. Please forgive me my beautiful angel. if I didn't see you're struggle it's because I didn't know. Wherever you are and I know you're at peace I know you're in a better place, know that I love I loved you and will continue to love you even more until my last breath. Hopefully we meet soon. I'm so lost your brother and sister need me or should I just leave but how is that fair to them. It's not fair so I don't know what to do. Live with this pain until I die or kill myself and end this pain? I love you & miss you so much.