Let's vent about stuff that's supposed to work but doesn't

[DyingToDie123]

I'm here in DBT group right now, a modality meant for people with the mental illness responsible for the most suicides in the world (BPD), and I'm just wondering how this possibly works for people. Being present in the moment? The very moment that makes me want to die?

Other things that didn't work:

• Ketamine. It felt great in the moment, but didn't last more than a couple hours.
• Antidepressants. Sure, now I feel less urgency to die, but I still have no will to live.
• Residential treatment & Partial Hospitalization. All the coping skills in the world don't make a bad life better.
• Hospitalization. No explanation needed.

Vent to me about things you've tried that didn't help?

 

[Meditation guide]

I was put on 12 different anti depressants and lithium and they not only didn't help but made my life 100 times worse.

 

[Celerity]

^the only real effect SSRIs have

 

[DyingToDie123]

I was put on 12 different anti depressants and lithium and they not only didn't help but made my life 100 times worse.

I think I've been on 6 + lithium? (Well 5 + one antipsychotic). But I feel this so hard. Lithium in particular is probably tearing my body apart.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

What didn't work - Buddhism, Taoism, Zen, The Power of Now, Osho, Sadhguru, meditation, exercise, yoga, breathing techniques, medication. Fell in love, that worked. Now it's over and I must jump to my death.

 

[Freyja13]

Mmm I've tried reciting affirmations in the mirror every morning for a few months. It was... something lol. I keep a journal but mostly to leave a record of what I feel and do before I die. Its easier than sitting down and writing a suicide note for me. Sleeping is nice but my body won't allow me to sleep all the time so that's a limit xD

 

[dizzdesi]

I'm here in DBT group right now, a modality meant for people with the mental illness responsible for the most suicides in the world (BPD), and I'm just wondering how this possibly works for people. Being present in the moment? The very moment that makes me want to die?

Other things that didn't work:

• Ketamine. It felt great in the moment, but didn't last more than a couple hours.
• Antidepressants. Sure, now I feel less urgency to die, but I still have no will to live.
• Residential treatment & Partial Hospitalization. All the coping skills in the world don't make a bad life better.
• Hospitalization. No explanation needed.

Vent to me about things you've tried that didn't help?

Ooh I've been on a COCKTAIL of medications…Prozac, wellbutrin, Zoloft, hydroxizine, lamictal, lexapro… I did CBT for a while with a therapist (3+ years). I meditate every single day. Still didn't get rid of the suicidal thoughts. But at this point, I don't mind. I'm ready to leave.
I have BPD and I will say that DBT is the best approach to therapy imo…but clearly not enough

 

[DyingToDie123]

I have BPD and I will say that DBT is the best approach to therapy imo…but clearly not enough

I'm partial to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (a little more obscure) which has a lot of overlap with DBT on the Acceptance half of things, but the Commitment half, which is values-driven, actually resonates with me. It's like the one modality that actually tries to add good to your life instead of taking away pain.

 

[FloridaWorthless]

Being in a psych unit. If you meet some people it may feel somewhat good but it can fuck you up.

 

[Scattered-Soul]

I'd say going to a doctor in general. My situation is a bit different since the reason why I even want to CTB currently and I'm on this forum is because of psych drug damage so the usual solutions for people struggling with mental health can't do anything about that. I've been suicidal my entire life though (for different reasons) so I guess it can count as something that didn't work. I've also gone to various therapists throughout the years who've been pretty useless, not to sound arrogant but I'd always end up knowing way more about my issues (and other people's issues honestly) than them and all the advice and coping mechanisms they could offer was stuff I already knew or had already used since being a kid. I've always felt like their knowledge is extremely surface-level.

Things like trying different diets, exercise, meditation, mindfulness and so on hasn't helped much either but at least it takes far less money out of my pocket. Honestly this post makes me realize how limited our options are.

 

[dizzdesi]

I'm partial to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (a little more obscure) which has a lot of overlap with DBT on the Acceptance half of things, but the Commitment half, which is values-driven, actually resonates with me. It's like the one modality that actually tries to add good to your life instead of taking away pain.

I've never heard of this before...I think I will check it out. Tthank you

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Every single thing you mentioned.

Ketamine is the most overpriced shit there is.

Psychiatrists: we don't want people to die! Try our novel interventions!
Also psychiatrists: that'll be $500 please. Cash or credit?

DBT is big on "a life worth living" and assumes everyone has the same toolkit to achieve that but that isn't so.

PHP....there are only so many times you can fill out cognitive distortion worksheets.

 

[SafferGuy]

What didn't work - Buddhism, Taoism, Zen, The Power of Now, Osho, Sadhguru, meditation, exercise, yoga, breathing techniques, medication. Fell in love, that worked. Now it's over and I must jump to my death.

Falling in love worked for me too... until I found out he betrayed me... Been in therapy for two years, but spend even more time thinking about catching the bus now...

 

[tvoisluga]

life. i just want to not give myself any more ugly scars. i just need to not do shit to myself till i get high on wednesday. i wont be able to do it, because i cut off the only amazing friend i ever had. maybe this is my punishment. i have makeup. maybe its ok .
at least im satisfied with very surface cuts

 

[Abyssal]

My stereo stopped working and now I'm really sad. Oh and therapists and ssris and those annoying self help books. Mental health days don't work either.

Shoutout to the suicide hotline for not working as well.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

I really wish ketamine was going to be the answer for me. My experience was the same as yours. It felt fantastic in the moment, but did little for the overall treatment of depression. I later found out that it's really only meant to be used as a last resort circuit breaker for maximum suicidality. A distraction from suicidal ideation I suppose.

For years, Adderall was working wonders for me, but I think I have built up resistance to my low dosage. I don't want to dose any higher because it just feels like I am frying my brain.

 

[jbear824]

At this point, therapy. My mental illnesses are very treatment resistant. Especially my anxiety. I've been in therapy for almost 21 years. And every therapist I have had just don't understand my needs. They don't understand that I have no goals. I need therapy because I can't deal with life. I can't deal with existing. Being alive. I need therapy to get me through the days of my life. Not to achieve a health goal.

And this is just not how therapy is designed. I need long term, possibly lifelong mental health care. And therapy is just not designed for that.

At this point, I have given up on it myself. But I will always recommend people try.

 

[cosmic_traveler]

I've been through all the services that Wisconsin has to offer, hospitalized twice. No family, no friends, no support, no excuse to continue living. I'm just going through the motions till my date.

 

[willitpass]

Everything you stated as well as:
-ECT (shock therapy)
-DBT, CBT, trauma based therapy, family based therapy, every type of talk therapy
-Exercise
-Eating better
-Spirituality
I am severely treatment resistant. I truly do not believe I am made for life.

 

[Ah.ow]

I've been through all the services that Wisconsin has to offer, hospitalized twice. No family, no friends, no support, no excuse to continue living. I'm just going through the motions till my date.

I heard Wisconsin had been better before. then in less than a year it seemed bad. I am afraid where to try now. is Wisconsin hard to leave?

 

[cosmic_traveler]

I heard Wisconsin had been better before. then in less than a year it seemed bad. I am afraid where to try now. is Wisconsin hard to leave?

Not sure what you mean by "hard to leave".

Don't really have anywhere else to go, thought about driving to North Dakota to live/die somewhere in the mountains.
North Dakota has more mountain goats than humans, literally the only reason that encourages that decision.

Wisconsin isn't any more a prison than our mind is.