Leaving a note saying you don't want a funeral

[Jessica5]

Will people care about the note?

 

[rabbithole]

Same. I'm not sure, depends on if your family respects your wish.

 

[Moon Flower]

My mom did this and we didn't have one. It probably depends on the family tbh.
If you're in the US this may be useful info

Who has the legal right to make decisions about your funeral? - Funeral Consumers Alliance

Personal Preference Laws for Body Disposition In more than half the states, there is a statutory obligation for survivors to honor the written wishes of the deceased, to follow your personal preference. In a few states, your wishes may be over-turned in the case of cremation, however. Even if...

funerals.org

 

[WornOutLife]

It all depends on the ones in charge of you.
For instance, in my note I mentioned that I don't want a funeral and I know my father will respect my wishes. However, my mother will want a funeral no matter what so there's a 50/50 chance of getting what I want.

Anyway, I'll be dead, they can do whatever they please and I just won't care.

 

[Symbiote]

You can put that in your note, but it's up to your family if they honor it or not. Now if you were to explicitly get a judge's order to not have a funeral and bind it as a legal document, then your family has to oblige it.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

It depends on your family. I'm very firm in my note: no funeral. It's a huge waste of money and adds too much unecessary stress. I'm okay with something cheaper, less formal...and am leaving money behind to cover the expenses, because I know my family will want to do something. I hope that with my insistence and laying my reasons out, my decision will be honored when I die. My parents talk about how they would respect decisions like whether or not we want to donate organs, but I'm not sure about this one.

Thank you for the info, @LunarPoppies. It's much appreciated.

 

[Moon Flower]

It depends on your family. I'm very firm in my note: no funeral. It's a huge waste of money and adds too much unecessary stress. I'm okay with something cheaper, less formal...and am leaving money behind to cover the expenses, because I know my family will want to do something. I hope that with my insistence and laying my reasons out, my decision will be honored when I die. My parents talk about how they would respect decisions like whether or not we want to donate organs, but I'm not sure about this one.

Thank you for the info, @LunarPoppies. It's much appreciated.

Happy to help :D

 

[bov]

Funerals aren't necessarily for the dead but for the grieving. I think it might be disrespectful to try to tell the people who love you how to grieve? I don't know the circumstances. Just something to consider.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Funerals aren't necessarily for the dead but for the grieving. I think it might be disrespectful to try to tell the people who love you how to grieve? I don't know the circumstances. Just something to consider.

there's another option,
such as to hold a rememberance event
separate from the burial.

 

[Kruger]

You need a will, mine says no funeral. A note carries
no legal weight. It needs to be a document that has been witnessed. You can draw up your own - i did. Just use the correct format and make sure it is dated and witnessed properly.

 

[MindFrog]

They should be able to respect your wishes, but maybe there'll also be a problem if your family's religious. I want to be cremated when I ctb but my mother wouldnt want it for sure, cause of the whole "the body returns to the soil and will rise again in judgement day" sort of thing.

 

[justanotherstar]

I think funerals are for the living, we might not care but for many it's a necessary part of the grieving process. It's your choice to state you don't want a funeral but like others have said it may not be respected. I'd say you have nothing to lose by writing a note expressing your wishes and if they are disrespected then you won't care because you'll be dead

 

[NodusTollens]

I would like to hope they would respect your wishes, though I feel funeral are mostly for the ones left behind. So they may have one to help themselves grieve.

I wrestled with this too, particularly after I found out how much cremation will cost.

 

[LongNight]

People will do what they want and you'll be dead, so it really won't matter either way. I don't know where you are, but funerals are complicated where I live now. I went to one about a month ago, and only ten people could go in at once. We still have lots of COVID here.