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Forest Fire

Forest Fire

Student
Jul 19, 2019
119
I have been considering leaving a note to someone explaining how their actions completely fucked my life over, pretty much made it impossible for me to ever 'recover', and were a significant reason why i chose to ctb.
In day to day life i'm not a vindictive person and would normally go out my way to avoid making anyone feel negative at all.
But being honest i want to make this person feel like shit and for them to directly acknowledge that they played a major part in someone they knew choosing to kill themselves. Other than the time they fucked me over, they had only treated me with kindness and they are an empathetic person with others. They are not an abuser/violent etc I think if they knew the effect they had had on me then it would haunt them and i imagine their past actions towards me are something they currently block out rather than try to justify.
I can't talk to anyone in real life about this so would you consider doing the same or does this cross a line. I feel like a piece of shit reading this back to be honest.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
maybe try explaining it in a nice way? (without knowing anything) "i just wanted to let you know that your past actions have hurt me and caused life to be difficult for me"? again, i dont know the situation so thats just a really basic example
 
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E

Enemy of Evolution

Member
Nov 9, 2022
46
With tears in my eyes. As a person who will ctb in February. I want to say that we are going to be free of all pain. Free of all stress and trauma. Let us not make someone life hell. Think about it. We will be free. Freedom is only thing I desire.

I am not asking you to forgive them. Just ignore then. They are not worth the time left.
 
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Forest Fire

Forest Fire

Student
Jul 19, 2019
119
maybe try explaining it in a nice way? (without knowing anything) "i just wanted to let you know that your past actions have hurt me and caused life to be difficult for me"? again, i dont know the situation so thats just a really basic example
Do you mean to let them know while i'm alive/ sorry i am sleep deprived at the moment. Thank you for your reply
 
Wannabehappy

Wannabehappy

Member
Nov 29, 2022
39
I consider that a good idea. This world has not forgiven us any mistake. I see no reason why we should forgive those who have wronged us.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,995
Although I can understand your reasons for wanting to exact revenge on this person, personally, I wouldn't do it. Better to go out on a high note. Leaving a note like that really solves nothing. The damage is already done. And even you said they really only made this one "mistake". People make mistakes. Obviously, though, your choice to make.
 
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O

OldDrummer

Arcanist
Feb 4, 2022
435
OP it's good to vent, don't feel bad about it. But it's not for me. It's literally as the Buddha said, drinking poison yourself and expecting your enemy to die.
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
Do you mean to let them know while i'm alive/ sorry i am sleep deprived at the moment. Thank you for your reply
you can tell them either way. if you dont want to deal with it then after is probably your better option
Other than the time they fucked me over, they had only treated me with kindness and they are an empathetic person with others. They are not an abuser/violent etc I think if they knew the effect they had had on me then it would haunt them and i imagine their past actions towards me are something they currently block out rather than try to justify.
judging by this if you talk to them before hand it sounds like they might try to fix it.

telling them before or after is totally up to and what youre looking for. all im saying is you can have 1 thought (they hurt you) but it can be worded in different ways. instead of "you f'ed over my life" be nicer about it either way you tell them.
 
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Forest Fire

Forest Fire

Student
Jul 19, 2019
119
With tears in my eyes. As a person who will ctb in February. I want to say that we are going to be free of all pain. Free of all stress and trauma. Let us not make someone life hell. Think about it. We will be free. Freedom is only thing I desire.

I am not asking you to forgive them. Just ignore then. They are not worth the time left.
What you've written is how i feel about it generally. i'm sorry if my post made you upset
Thank you for all the replies. I've decided against it.
For the record though it was no mistake. They consciously made the decision to ruin my reputation to save their own and i have been a recluse since then.
I wish i had people to talk to about this in real life as it is so easy for my thoughts to run away from me when they are not challenged by someone else. I've got no intention of hurting anyone unless they are physically attacking me. This would have been a horrible thing to do
not sure why i edited that post again it was meant to be a seperate reply.
 
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LaVieEnRose

LaVieEnRose

Angelic
Jul 23, 2022
4,370
My thinking is if these people didn't care enough to not cause us harm in the first place, then it's unlikely our deaths will move them.
 
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Suicidebydeath

Suicidebydeath

No chances to be happy - dead inside
Nov 25, 2021
3,558
I have been considering leaving a note to someone explaining how their actions completely fucked my life over, pretty much made it impossible for me to ever 'recover', and were a significant reason why i chose to ctb.
In day to day life i'm not a vindictive person and would normally go out my way to avoid making anyone feel negative at all.
But being honest i want to make this person feel like shit and for them to directly acknowledge that they played a major part in someone they knew choosing to kill themselves. Other than the time they fucked me over, they had only treated me with kindness and they are an empathetic person with others. They are not an abuser/violent etc I think if they knew the effect they had had on me then it would haunt them and i imagine their past actions towards me are something they currently block out rather than try to justify.
I can't talk to anyone in real life about this so would you consider doing the same or does this cross a line. I feel like a piece of shit reading this back to be honest.
If the person is as described then don't leave them a note like this. I'm not vindinctive either but if I killed myself my family would totally be guilty and I'd like them to know how shit they are. In the end I doubt I'd write anything since ctb is basically being free of everything, anyway.
 
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Forest Fire

Forest Fire

Student
Jul 19, 2019
119
I feel like shit for even considering this but i'm glad i made this thread so i can see sense now. Thankyou all again for the replies
 
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Life_and_Death

Life_and_Death

Do what's best for you 🕯️ I'm............
Jul 1, 2020
7,031
I feel like shit for even considering this but i'm glad i made this thread so i can see sense now. Thankyou all again for the replies
you were feeling something. thanks ok. and you didnt act on your feelings (which isnt a bad thing, but sometimes can be. im sure you understand) so thats good. you have nothing to feel bad about. feelings are ok :hug:
 
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Forest Fire

Forest Fire

Student
Jul 19, 2019
119
you were feeling something. thanks ok. and you didnt act on your feelings (which isnt a bad thing, but sometimes can be. im sure you understand) so thats good. you have nothing to feel bad about. feelings are ok :hug:
Thank you, that has genuinely made me feel a bit better
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,764
It's really understandable as to why you would wish to do this, I do believe that if someone has caused so much harm then they deserve to be aware of the damage they've caused. But at least to me it would make sense not to do it, as if someone plans to ctb whatever this life has burdened them with won't be their problem anymore and all will be forgotten about once we die, so there would be nothing really gained for us by sending a negative note to someone else as we won't even be here.
 
S

sevenkarmas

Student
Oct 10, 2022
170
I feel like shit for even considering this but i'm glad i made this thread so i can see sense now. Thankyou all again for the replies
No, you're human. I still wonder if I'm going to leave a note pointing out what pushed me. It's natural, and it's our last argument.
 
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E

Enemy of Evolution

Member
Nov 9, 2022
46
What you've written is how i feel about it generally. i'm sorry if my post made you upset
Thank you for all the replies. I've decided against it.
For the record though it was no mistake. They consciously made the decision to ruin my reputation to save their own and i have been a recluse since then.
I wish i had people to talk to about this in real life as it is so easy for my thoughts to run away from me when they are not challenged by someone else. I've got no intention of hurting anyone unless they are physically attacking me. This would have been a horrible thing to do
not sure why i edited that post again it was meant to be a seperate reply.
Your post didn't make me upset. After weeping I feel very light. It's good. Finding someone to talk about these things like we talk here is very difficult. Because people start judging or ignoring once they know we are talking about death or suicide. I am happy to talk to people on this platform.
 
S

sevenkarmas

Student
Oct 10, 2022
170
I would also add - there's nothing wrong with writing out the letter and destroying it once you're done. Sometimes putting our thoughts and feelings on paper is very cathartic. The process is for you, not the target.
 
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N

nopointinlife

Student
Mar 11, 2022
111
The guilt your note may inflict will either be short lived or lead to that person ctb too. Either way, it won't help you.
 

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