Venting Last week! (Hopefully!)

[LuzurPhagget]

And no motherfuckers better get in my way!

I think I've got my CTB spot. I had to cancel my other planned destination spot. It's a goddamn shame. Would have had a nice 3 hour drive to look over my miserable existence and curse and vent at the top of my lungs and reassure myself it's the right choice along the way. Hell, it was the right choice all those years ago. It also would have been nice to go for a last hike and check out the lakes that were there. Oh well.

Anyway, this new spot is less than an hour away. And I'll most likely be found the next day, but oh well. CTBers can't be choosers I suppose.

I just PRAY I can go out successfully and peacefully via the charcoal method. I've tested it several times now and it seems good. I really don't want to have to hang myself. Can I at LEAST be entitled to a nice warm, transition into death? Is that too much to motherfucking ask???

I can't believe I've lasted this long. Feel so fucking tired all the time. I think I'm actually functioning worse NOW than I was a few weeks ago. I don't know what the fuck is going on. I feel my motor skills and spatial awareness has significantly gotten worse. I find myself constantly banging my knees on things and bumping into shit and just behaving like a fucktard. So fucking clumsy. Fuck this life. I'm slowly starting to realize I never had a full deck to begin with. Life truly is shittingly unfair.

I REALLY hope this is it. I don't want to do this much longer. I hope these sadistic kunts will let me go and get the fuck over it. Fuck em.

 

[Stan]

I wish you luck Luzur

 

[CrushedHopes]

I wish you peace.

 

[Rachel74]

Good luck

 

[lymbo]

And no motherfuckers better get in my way!

I think I've got my CTB spot. I had to cancel my other planned destination spot. It's a goddamn shame. Would have had a nice 3 hour drive to look over my miserable existence and curse and vent at the top of my lungs and reassure myself it's the right choice along the way. Hell, it was the right choice all those years ago. It also would have been nice to go for a last hike and check out the lakes that were there. Oh well.

Anyway, this new spot is less than an hour away. And I'll most likely be found the next day, but oh well. CTBers can't be choosers I suppose.

I just PRAY I can go out successfully and peacefully via the charcoal method. I've tested it several times now and it seems good. I really don't want to have to hang myself. Can I at LEAST be entitled to a nice warm, transition into death? Is that too much to motherfucking ask???

I can't believe I've lasted this long. Feel so fucking tired all the time. I think I'm actually functioning worse NOW than I was a few weeks ago. I don't know what the fuck is going on. I feel my motor skills and spatial awareness has significantly gotten worse. I find myself constantly banging my knees on things and bumping into shit and just behaving like a fucktard. So fucking clumsy. Fuck this life. I'm slowly starting to realize I never had a full deck to begin with. Life truly is shittingly unfair.

I REALLY hope this is it. I don't want to do this much longer. I hope these sadistic kunts will let me go and get the fuck over it. Fuck em.

hope u get the peace you want , whats your reason for ctb?

 

[LuzurPhagget]

Thanks.

My reasons: pretty sure I have some kind of autism; horrible cognition issues that make simple living difficult; tired of stupid medications; guilt from the past. Ive lived long enough.

 

[lymbo]

Thanks.

My reasons: pretty sure I have some kind of autism; horrible cognition issues that make simple living difficult; tired of stupid medications; guilt from the past. Ive lived long enough.

why u had to cancel your fyrst spot 3hr away >? how old are y btw?

 

[LuzurPhagget]

why u had to cancel your fyrst spot 3hr away >? how old are y btw?

I live up here in Canada. Weather's getting shittier. Fricking snowed this past week, so snow plows would have most likely blocked off my chosen pathways.
Plus, I would hate wiping out en route to those locations in the first place. Too tisky now.

Old enough to party. 29.

 

[passenger27]

Good luck man. I wish you the best.

 

[takeyourshotfunboy]

Thanks.

My reasons: pretty sure I have some kind of autism; horrible cognition issues that make simple living difficult; tired of stupid medications; guilt from the past. Ive lived long enough.

I´m 100 percent sure I have some sort of undiagnosed autism too

 

[LuzurPhagget]

I´m 100 percent sure I have some sort of undiagnosed autism too

Yeah, for the longest time I just wanted to chalk it all up to depression and anxiety, but fuck man, if the shoe fits...But I don't care to have it formally diagnosed. Fuck it.

 

[sammii]

Good luck hun, really hope everything works out for you

I´m 100 percent sure I have some sort of undiagnosed autism too

I have diagnosed autism the diagnosis honestly doesn't help, it does nothing.