Sweet emotion
Enlightened
- Sep 14, 2019
- 1,325
Hi everyone. I know my behavior has been despicable for the past two weeks. And I understand if no one forgives me. But I want to apologize to each and every person that I hurt. Coming on a website where people have been nothing but wonderful and supportive and saying cruel things to them, well there is no excuse. I've never been so angry in my life with what has happened over the past two weeks and I said awful things that were totally uncalled for. I think I spent so much time on this site it drove me crazy. Even though my main problem is physical, I know what it's like to suffer from mental problems being that I have OCD, anxiety, and depression caused by the pain. I don't doubt anyone's suffering here whether it be physical, mental or both. I validate everyones pain. I've been hypocritical and insensitive. I always say that I would like for someone to walk around in my shoes and see if their thinking changes on my condition. I know what it's like for people and doctors to not believe you when you tell them something. It's the worst feeling in the world. I'm ashamed of myself that I took my anger out on people that have their own problems and that are suffering themselves. This is supposed to be a safe place where we are able to share our feelings without any judgement and because I am in so much pain I judged others which isn't right. Everyone's pain is very real to them and I hated when others judged my pain. You can't see pain so there's no way of knowing what anyone is going through until you walk in their shoes. I just want to say I am thankful for the unbelievably kind people I've met on here that have remembered me more than my own family. You all know who you are. I know what it feels like to be a victim of life. I know what it's like to not want to feel anymore. I know what it's like to not want to exist. I k ow what it's like to not want to die but know that there's no hope in getting better. I k ow what it's like to have tried every treatment available and have nothing work. I honestly didn't mean a word of anything I said. It was an immature rant that no one deserved to have to listen to. I apologize from the bottom of my heart for the unecessary stress I caused everyone. I'm not going to be on here anymore. But I didn't want to go with people thinking I'm this cold hearted person with no compassion. Ive been thinking about you all for days but I couldn't find the right words. I truly wish each and every one of you peace whether that be death or rebuilding your life. I hope you are able to forgive me.
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