Lack of Motivation to Create

[NekoNomNom]

I've been trying to get back into drawing and whatnot. For a little while there, I had a ton of momentum, and even got a commission. However, after that commission, I've been having a difficult time with finishing, or even starting a piece. I love to draw, and I think about it all the time when I'm working, or doing other things. I've got a queue of project ideas, but along with ADD, I just have such a lack of motivation. Drawing is also a double edged sword for me. This may sound strange, but while it occupies my mind to draw, it also gives me way too much time to think about what's brought me here, in every capacity.

I don't know. I guess I just needed a place to put these wandering thoughts. I just want to be able to bring these things into existence, but I'm always so tired in more ways than one.

 

[Nymph]

I really feel you, I'm an artist and because of mental issues I've been having really bad art block for like..years..now. It's terrible:( I thought art was gonna be my life but now nothing is my life, I don't even want life

 

[kolski]

Same here, when I was younger n before I started uni I would draw all the time- it was the only thing I truly loved. But now, I can barely pick up a pencil without losing all motivation to start.. I let art be my escape, but every time I try to create something I can only focus on the things I'm trying to outrun.

 

[shadowchaser]

Me too; I've been so unmotivated that it's just been feeding itself in an ever-deepening spiral and making the concept of creating anything more and more difficult.
@kolski, you put it wonderfully, about art being an escape. When I was younger I could throw entire rainy afternoons to the transitory state of my stories and now I am lucky for a few minutes of this.

 

[WornOutLife]

I think you'll find inspiration sooner or later. Just wait.
I really envy you! I wish I could draw! (Some years ago I even wanted to be a mangaka lol)

Anyway, wish you the best!

Hugs and love

 

[Antigonish]

I'm an artist in a way of speaking. I write. Books, poems, short stories, music, and songs. But for some reason I haven't been able to put anything to paper. It's been a year and a half since I worked on anything, and I'm afraid I've lost my taste. My motivation. I think it's because of where I am, not necessarily in life, but physical geography. Something's killing my spark, and it's literally killing me. Maybe I just dont have the time I used to, the quiet I desire and need. The isolation that helps my thoughts flourish. Either way I can relate. The color is slowly leaving my world, and I seem to be fading to black.

 

[kitch]

Drawing is also a double edged sword for me. This may sound strange, but while it occupies my mind to draw, it also gives me way too much time to think about what's brought me here, in every capacity.

Have you tried a meditative mantra while drawing ?

So drawing becomes a "visual to hand" process , while simultaneously internally voicing an internal mantra ( whatever your flavour is ... "I can negotiate my feelings and deal with reality " "Unicorns are my favourite fantasy creature " "Buddha and Jesus are very cool" .... ) I don't think it matters as long as it is neutral or positive .

Then when intrusive thoughts emerge / arise ... you can focus on the mantra and they will loose traction with your consciousness.

NB : I don't think I have EVER done this myself ... I just used to draw a lot and related to your thinking . In some ways , in limited doses , "cogitation" facilitated by drawing is helpful , but in large doses , it needs to be calmed down .

Sorry if this is bullshit ... it is what it is , as everybody (unhelpfully ) says ...

 

[Antigonish]

I've been trying to get back into drawing and whatnot. For a little while there, I had a ton of momentum, and even got a commission. However, after that commission, I've been having a difficult time with finishing, or even starting a piece. I love to draw, and I think about it all the time when I'm working, or doing other things. I've got a queue of project ideas, but along with ADD, I just have such a lack of motivation. Drawing is also a double edged sword for me. This may sound strange, but while it occupies my mind to draw, it also gives me way too much time to think about what's brought me here, in every capacity.

I don't know. I guess I just needed a place to put these wandering thoughts. I just want to be able to bring these things into existence, but I'm always so tired in more ways than one.

Have you tried a meditative mantra while drawing ?

So drawing becomes a "visual to hand" process , while simultaneously internally voicing an internal mantra ( whatever your flavour is ... "I can negotiate my feelings and deal with reality " "Unicorns are my favourite fantasy creature " "Buddha and Jesus are very cool" .... ) I don't think it matters as long as it is neutral or positive .

Then when intrusive thoughts emerge / arise ... you can focus on the mantra and they will loose traction with your consciousness.

NB : I don't think I have EVER done this myself ... I just used to draw a lot and related to your thinking . In some ways , in limited doses , "cogitation" facilitated by drawing is helpful , but in large doses , it needs to be calmed down .

Sorry if this is bullshit ... it is what it is , as everybody (unhelpfully ) says ...

So I find that intrusive thoughts, albeit distracting actually fuel the imagination. When I write I usually get drunk. And it becomes terribly hard. To focus. I usually only get a sentence or two. But when I'm sober I notice those are the best sentences I've ever written. However drinking is probably what's killing my inspiration, but I thinks it's also a lack of stimulation and being surrounded by boorish people. Once I decide to spirit myself away (literally referring to movie in the middle of the night) I'll find out if it's me or the people I'm currently around.

 

[kitch]

So I find that intrusive thoughts, albeit distracting actually fuel the imagination. When I write I usually get drunk. And it becomes terribly hard. To focus. I usually only get a sentence or two. But when I'm sober I notice those are the best sentences I've ever written. However drinking is probably what's killing my inspiration, but I thinks it's also a lack of stimulation and being surrounded by boorish people. Once I decide to spirit myself away (literally referring to movie in the middle of the night) I'll find out if it's me or the people I'm currently around.

Sure , contrarily to this thread , the intrusive thoughts can be an inspiration and can spark the 'self revelatory' narratives ? ( Don't really know what I'm talking about , but can't resist pretending to .... :/ )


Stream of consciousness kind of thing ?
The raging sub-conscious ?

Forgive my flippancy , I'm a dark humoured arsehole on a good day ...

I'm a recovering alcoholic and drinking does loosen up "the voice" , but then put's a cork in the bottled up subconscious as well I think .

1 drink loosens up emotional response .... but then :
2 drunkenness is emotionally numbing ... so restricts access to 'feelings' ?

Creativity as a human adaptation in our abstract cultural way is a hell of a thing and no-one has the rule book ... a work in progress.

 

[Antigonish]

Sure , contrarily to this thread , the intrusive thoughts can be an inspiration and can spark the 'self revelatory' narratives ? ( Don't really know what I'm talking about , but can't resist pretending to .... :/ )


Stream of consciousness kind of thing ?
The raging sub-conscious ?

Forgive my flippancy , I'm a dark humoured arsehole on a good day ...

I'm a recovering alcoholic and drinking does loosen up "the voice" , but then put's a cork in the bottled up subconscious as well I think .

1 drink loosens up emotional response .... but then :
2 drunkenness is emotionally numbing ... so restricts access to 'feelings' ?

Creativity as a human adaptation in our abstract cultural way is a hell of a thing and no-one has the rule book ... a work in progress.

You're right I think drinking only unlocks what's already there. But I so easily bottle my self up. Either I drink or physically or mentally hurt myself to get the juices flowing. All my stories end in tragedies, just like my life. So drinking the right amount helps, but that's hard. One shot, I'm good. Two shots, I'm ready to down a bottle and party or dance by myself. Next time I'll shot and a half to avoid the numbness.

 

[kitch]

One shot, I'm good. Two shots, I'm ready to down a bottle and party or dance by myself. Next time I'll shot and a half to avoid the numbness.

I have PROFOUND compulsion control ... PROBLEMS
So all I can say is "good luck" !

(edited to add PROBLEMS .... can't believe I missed that out !)

 

[Antigonish]

I have PROFOUND compulsion control ... PROBLEMS
So all I can say is "good luck" !

(edited to add PROBLEMS .... can't believe I missed that out !)

Me too
Borderline Biopolar OCD with a splash of ADHD

 

[signifying nothing]

I found I needed to get rid of my old artwork/writing in order to be able to create something new.

I see creating things as a way of communicating with myself (and others), a conversation, so if the old conversation is still there then that's what's 'current'. And there seems to be limit to what can be present at one time - reach a certain level and its like you've maxed out your capacity, which means it becomes difficult to create anything new.

 

[kitch]

Me too
Borderline Biopolar OCD with a splash of ADHD

No one ever diagnosed me ... despite being off the rails my whole life .
My avoidance of any diagnosis is because of my "chameleon people pleasing camouflage" I think , as well as avoiding any social drama's .

( My difficulties have been very "nuanced" , complicated and hidden inside other problems ... very tricky to unpick in a therapy situation , especially where "tools to help you cope" are thrown at you before you've even begun to elucidate the situation ...which one is mystified by anyway ... therapists do their best , but it's a battle to get at the "whatever the f it is " .)

Or maybe I'm just imagining it all ?

I know for a fact I've always (since 16yo ? ) been depressed and that led to alcohol THE JOYFUL NUMBNESS !!! so do it again and again etc .. hello alcoholism ...

hopeless chain smoker as well :/

Definitely a bit / a lot of maybe something like OCD ... all those repetitive thoughts ! Fuck !

 

[Antigonish]

No one ever diagnosed me ... despite being off the rails my whole life .
My avoidance of any diagnosis is because of my "chameleon people pleasing camouflage" I think , as well as avoiding any social drama's .

( My difficulties have been very "nuanced" , complicated and hidden inside other problems ... very tricky to unpick in a therapy situation , especially where "tools to help you cope" are thrown at you before you've even begun to elucidate the situation ...which one is mystified by anyway ... therapists do their best , but it's a battle to get at the "whatever the f it is " .)

Or maybe I'm just imagining it all ?

I know for a fact I've always (since 16yo ? ) been depressed and that led to alcohol THE JOYFUL NUMBNESS !!! so do it again and again etc .. hello alcoholism ...

hopeless chain smoker as well :/

Definitely a bit / a lot of maybe something like OCD ... all those repetitive thoughts ! Fuck !

I've never been diagnosed either. Mostly because I'm self aware and read allot of psychology text books. But I dont want to be medicated and thrown into a loony bin. But hence the borderline part. Maybe my depression ends when I seek help, but I'm honestly scared to. And you're right most of the time people just list the reasons why you're okay, and never listen to your pleas of help. It's all so frustrating.

'You are okay' 'The voices in my head telling me to jump, say otherwise'

 

[Kat!]

It's such a painful process. I wish I had advice but, waiting for an idea to come to me is it.
I'm more of a writer but I've yet to get a great idea.

 

[kitch]

I've never been diagnosed either. Mostly because I'm self aware and read allot of psychology text books. But I dont want to be medicated and thrown into a loony bin. But hence the borderline part. Maybe my depression ends when I seek help, but I'm honestly scared to. And you're right most of the time people just list the reasons why you're okay, and never listen to your pleas of help. It's all so frustrating.

'You are okay' 'The voices in my head telling me to jump, say otherwise'

I just looked at my last therapists web site and I found that a Psychiatric assessment is priced at around a thousand dollars ... combined with not being taken "seriously" unless you are physically violent towards yourself or others to warrent a "psychiatric assessment " .

I definitely had a few "break downs" in the past ... but fell in amongst "saviours" that "helped" ( but created more problems :/ ) so avoided the whole Psychiatric assessment thing .

I hope you can find a way to finesse (?) "choreograph" , a way to get some assistance though ... it is helpful , even though it might take a few goes at it.


Years ago I motorbiked up to the old mental hospital to get a bed ... but it had been closed for years ! The whole "community care" thing .

From what I read , I think avoiding the pharmaceuticals is a lucky break ... but I think it's possibly helpful.

For me , it's always been existential and social / cultural .
Recently referred to myself as Borderline and it felt correct .

Just so f'n detached !

 

[Bitterman1996]

I'm having the same problem rn, just found this thread.

Have problems with motivation... especially I ended up comparing myself to others... To the point I feel like it's useless to create art anymore.

 

[us_1999]

I've been unable to write for 5 years and this block is killing me. For 5 years I've never stop writing about my inability to write, but the feeling of the presence of an impossibility never ceases.
Glad to see so many people here having similar problem.. it makes me feel less alone-- I know it's selfish to say so. I hope that none of us has to struggle with this.