Lack of creativity makes me sad

[AStruggle]

I've always seen creation as my life's meaning. I used to fantasize about videogames, coming up with different scenarios, cool new features, characters, drew a lot of different stuff, made music on an old ass sony ericson phone.

Now all I can think of is try making money so I can live in comfort. Every time I sit myself down and try to create I don't get any joy out of it, all my ideas feel boring and dumb and unworthy and I hate it all. Any time I try making music I have zero understanding of what I'm doing and what I should do, I get frustrated easily and quit it.

It's so sad to me that it's the way it is - that other people get to create cool shit and feel fulfilled while I have zero ideas I'd like. So tragic.

 

[Arahant]

Are you familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's a theory from psychology that explains how certain aspects of our human lives are only accessible or enjoyable when certain needs are met consistently.

First comes physical survival needs.
Then safety, both physical and emotional.
Then needs for intimacy, love, belonging.
After those three are met consistently, then creativity becomes accessible/enjoyable/fulfilling.

It kind of stands to reason, that if we are lonely, unsafe or starving, then creating something that tops the Mona Lisa is not a priority to our lives, right?

You can land yourself in hot water if these needs are not recognized and prioritized correctly.
An example could be attempting creativity to make money.
While that is not a wrong or impossible thing to do, if that is the main goal, then you feel unsafe if you fail, and that makes it much harder.

Many people cling to (the idea of) a romantic relationship to fulfill them, while unconsciously needing the safety it can bring.
That is also a recipe for disaster, as anxiety or neediness is often not attractive to otherwise loving people.

I'm not saying creativity as an adult requires perfection in all three previous tiers o needs.
I'm saying your subjective perception of how fulfilled those are, can unlock or restrict your creativity and enjoyment.
Now how you would go about unlocking that, I can't know without further conversation.
Just know that it still is alive within you.

 

[AStruggle]

Are you familiar with Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
It's a theory from psychology that explains how certain aspects of our human lives are only accessible or enjoyable when certain needs are met consistently.

First comes physical survival needs.
Then safety, both physical and emotional.
Then needs for intimacy, love, belonging.
After those three are met consistently, then creativity becomes accessible/enjoyable/fulfilling.

It kind of stands to reason, that if we are lonely, unsafe or starving, then creating something that tops the Mona Lisa is not a priority to our lives, right?

You can land yourself in hot water if these needs are not recognized and prioritized correctly.
An example could be attempting creativity to make money.
While that is not a wrong or impossible thing to do, if that is the main goal, then you feel unsafe if you fail, and that makes it much harder.

Many people cling to (the idea of) a romantic relationship to fulfill them, while unconsciously needing the safety it can bring.
That is also a recipe for disaster, as anxiety or neediness is often not attractive to otherwise loving people.

I'm not saying creativity as an adult requires perfection in all three previous tiers o needs.
I'm saying your subjective perception of how fulfilled those are, can unlock or restrict your creativity and enjoyment.
Now how you would go about unlocking that, I can't know without further conversation.
Just know that it still is alive within you.

Thank you for the response.

I am familiar with Maslow's pyramid, and I believe it has some amount of reason to it. I try to focus on getting back on track with my career so I can start figuring my needs out, but it's extremely hard right now. I hope something will change pretty soon and I'll get hired doing the thing I know how to do.

I'm very grateful for your words, I really needed to hear something hopeful to cling onto. Thank you, kind friend.

 

[Arahant]

You are very welcome, and I am happy to hear you find hope in it.

If you would like we can further unpack how you might tinker your perspectives to serve you better.
Funny thing about the needs hierarchy is, it is cyclical too.
Self realized people tend to be safer, people feeling safe tend to have more intimacy, intimacy fosters deeper safety which enables more love, which inspires more creativity etc etc.

You can pick or ignore any of these questions to think about or respond to in order to develop more possibilties:

- If you wish to indulge creativity, is it for the sake of just doing it (play) or is it for financial incentives (work)?
- What needs might be lacking that would force you to focus away from creativity?
- Are any compulsions or addictions eating up your energy, taking your focus, making you unsafe?
- Are there any toxic people in your life that make you feel unsafe?
- Are you familiar with the PolyVagal theory; the science of safety and how it modulates different levels of humanity?
- Could it be something as simple as undereating or infrequent eating jacking your stress response to block safety?
- Is loneliness an issue?

 

[AStruggle]

You are very welcome, and I am happy to hear you find hope in it.

If you would like we can further unpack how you might tinker your perspectives to serve you better.
Funny thing about the needs hierarchy is, it is cyclical too.
Self realized people tend to be safer, people feeling safe tend to have more intimacy, intimacy fosters deeper safety which enables more love, which inspires more creativity etc etc.

You can pick or ignore any of these questions to think about or respond to in order to develop more possibilties:

- If you wish to indulge creativity, is it for the sake of just doing it (play) or is it for financial incentives (work)?
- What needs might be lacking that would force you to focus away from creativity?
- Are any compulsions or addictions eating up your energy, taking your focus, making you unsafe?
- Are there any toxic people in your life that make you feel unsafe?
- Are you familiar with the PolyVagal theory; the science of safety and how it modulates different levels of humanity?
- Could it be something as simple as undereating or infrequent eating jacking your stress response to block safety?
- Is loneliness an issue?

Yes, I'd like to talk more absolutely!

Ideally I'd like to create for the sake of creation and play, making some amount of money off of it so that the activity I'm doing can fulfill both my financial and spiritual needs.

I was forced to leave my home country because it's an authoritarian regime. Me and my family had to move to another country because it's not safe back home. I'm basically a refugee in every way except legally. I'm unemployed and although I'm trying hard to change that it's very difficult right now. I have no money to spend, I have no personal space and in case of an unfortunate event I may be deported back. I can't say my needs are unfulfilled completely, I have access to fresh clean water, food of varying quality and a shelter, but it doesn't seem to be enough.

I can't say that there's anything serious at play in terms of compulsions or addictions like gambling or alcoholism. The worst addiction I've ever experienced is smoking, but I have quit it some time ago, although I get urges sometimes. I spend a lot of time scrolling reels and I crave processed food or beer sometimes, but I have never saw it as unhealthy - modern life takes it's toll, and I'd also say that those are coping mechanisms in some capacity. Sometimes it helps me get through a hard time and distract myself - although most of the time it doesn't work.

I don't always feel comfortable and safe around some family members I have to live with. I'm not abused or anything like that, but there are a lot of details and nuances of living together with these people that take a toll on my mental. I hope that soon I'll be able to move to a comfortable environment, and preferably live alone.

No, it's the first time I'm hearing about it. Might look it up.

I haven't noticed this correlation yet. Although I try to eat regularly and healthy mostly it's not always possible due to the lack of appetite and energy that comes with depression or my financial situation. It might be that this also has an influence here.

It used to be. I had a feeling of loneliness and detachment a lot in my life, I felt like an outsider. Even though I have good and friendly people surrounding me it's always been hard to feel connected to them due to a myriad of reasons including social anxiety and depression, self doubt and overthinking, etc. Additionally my feeling of inferiority was aggravated by never having a deep romantic relationship experience, which I was craving hard. Eventually I found a girlfriend. We were in a relationship for a bit more than a year until I decided we should break up.
There were multiple reasons. First, my depression and unstable life situation had a huge impact on our plans and our time together. It also felt like I was dragging her down with me. Second, I didn't find this person interesting. We were living in completely different worlds, with different aspirations, worldviews and interests. I didn't feel her being interested in me as a person too, only as a romantic partner. Our only true way of bonding and spending time together was sex, which is good in itself, but isn't enough to continuously build a strong and serious relationship with a person.
In the end I have decided that being single is better at this point in my life - no excess responsibility, just me and my problems to worry about.

 

[eden101]

@Arahant (dont know how to tag here), you are very right, i thought about this as well, sometimes i sit and cant move and i have tasks to do and i cant do them, i had so much free time to be creative like i wanted but i couldnt do that. and i realised too - i looked at the pyramid of needs and understood, some of the very fundemental ones werent closed, and the ability to self express and be creative is at the very top, so it all makes sense, it felt like something was missing and i couldnt move on to do the tasks i wanted. if this is what you meant, i wanted to reach the very top while neglecting everything on the bottom. not even properly resting or eating or interacting with others (self isolation). and then i expected myself to sort of pour from that empty cup, figuratively speaking. so you are right in that

 

[Arahant]

Yes, I'd like to talk more absolutely!

Ideally I'd like to create for the sake of creation and play, making some amount of money off of it so that the activity I'm doing can fulfill both my financial and spiritual needs.

I was forced to leave my home country because it's an authoritarian regime. Me and my family had to move to another country because it's not safe back home. I'm basically a refugee in every way except legally. I'm unemployed and although I'm trying hard to change that it's very difficult right now. I have no money to spend, I have no personal space and in case of an unfortunate event I may be deported back. I can't say my needs are unfulfilled completely, I have access to fresh clean water, food of varying quality and a shelter, but it doesn't seem to be enough.

I can't say that there's anything serious at play in terms of compulsions or addictions like gambling or alcoholism. The worst addiction I've ever experienced is smoking, but I have quit it some time ago, although I get urges sometimes. I spend a lot of time scrolling reels and I crave processed food or beer sometimes, but I have never saw it as unhealthy - modern life takes it's toll, and I'd also say that those are coping mechanisms in some capacity. Sometimes it helps me get through a hard time and distract myself - although most of the time it doesn't work.

I don't always feel comfortable and safe around some family members I have to live with. I'm not abused or anything like that, but there are a lot of details and nuances of living together with these people that take a toll on my mental. I hope that soon I'll be able to move to a comfortable environment, and preferably live alone.

No, it's the first time I'm hearing about it. Might look it up.

I haven't noticed this correlation yet. Although I try to eat regularly and healthy mostly it's not always possible due to the lack of appetite and energy that comes with depression or my financial situation. It might be that this also has an influence here.

It used to be. I had a feeling of loneliness and detachment a lot in my life, I felt like an outsider. Even though I have good and friendly people surrounding me it's always been hard to feel connected to them due to a myriad of reasons including social anxiety and depression, self doubt and overthinking, etc. Additionally my feeling of inferiority was aggravated by never having a deep romantic relationship experience, which I was craving hard. Eventually I found a girlfriend. We were in a relationship for a bit more than a year until I decided we should break up.
There were multiple reasons. First, my depression and unstable life situation had a huge impact on our plans and our time together. It also felt like I was dragging her down with me. Second, I didn't find this person interesting. We were living in completely different worlds, with different aspirations, worldviews and interests. I didn't feel her being interested in me as a person too, only as a romantic partner. Our only true way of bonding and spending time together was sex, which is good in itself, but isn't enough to continuously build a strong and serious relationship with a person.
In the end I have decided that being single is better at this point in my life - no excess responsibility, just me and my problems to worry about.

You sure have good reason to feel unsafe, and for your psyche to prioritize lower needs.
I mean you no offense, and wish you obtain safe and permanent residence, but in the eyes of the law you are not much different than a fugitive.
The thing about safety is that it's not only the absence of immediate danger - it's also a deeply comfortable, soft, warm, pleasant, felt sense in the body, that we as humans; social animals are wired to feel through intimacy with others. Not just sexual or romantic, but plain touch, actual attention and caring.
Now I can kind of cheat the system with meditation, and you might too. If you can remember the feeling, or imagine it by willing it, you can magnify it and "seed" it until it sticks around for a while.
-> That might unlock your creativity, if only temporarily.

Another things that comes to mind, that you might enjoy and find benefit in, is the technique called Image Streaming.
From the book Einstein Factor by Win Wenger, it's a way to use inner voice to imagine more vividly with all five senses.
People with aphantasia have described practicing it often enough gave them hyperphantasia.
That means people who could not see any thing at all in their minds eye can now imagine with as much detail as having open eyes.
It's also said to increase intelligence and raw iQ, as well as creativity, problem solving, intuition and other things.
There ought to be a way to torrent that book somewhere...
If not available, youtube videos describe how to image stream quite well.
It's very stimulating once you get the hang of it, and can somewhat bypass the need for safety, in my experience.

@Arahant (dont know how to tag here), you are very right, i thought about this as well, sometimes i sit and cant move and i have tasks to do and i cant do them, i had so much free time to be creative like i wanted but i couldnt do that. and i realised too - i looked at the pyramid of needs and understood, some of the very fundemental ones werent closed, and the ability to self express and be creative is at the very top, so it all makes sense, it felt like something was missing and i couldnt move on to do the tasks i wanted. if this is what you meant, i wanted to reach the very top while neglecting everything on the bottom. not even properly resting or eating or interacting with others (self isolation). and then i expected myself to sort of pour from that empty cup, figuratively speaking. so you are right in that

Glad you find it useful!
Sometimes marginal things make the biggest difference.
Try getting 3 square meals with things that you find are healthy for you, and maybe call someone and talk for 10 minutes every day.
Perhaps take some time to really relax, find a feeling of comfort in relaxing your muscles, and that could be enough for some to get the creative juices flowing for some.