Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
I'm a Zen Buddhist and I love koans. I think that they can make us think outside the box and understand our existence better. So I thought I'd share some and I hope others feel inclined to do the same.

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A monk asked Kegon, "How does an enlightened one return to the ordinary world?" Kegon replied, "A broken mirror never reflects again; fallen flowers never go back to the old branches."

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One day as Manjusri stood outside the gate, the Buddha called to him, "Manjusri, Manjusri, why do you not enter?" Manjusri replied, "I do not see myself as outside. Why enter?"

-----------------------------------

A soldier named Nobushige came to Hakuin, and asked: "Is there really a paradise and a hell?"

"Who are you?" inquired Hakuin.

"I am a samurai," the warrior replied.

"You, a soldier!" exclaimed Hakuin. "What kind of ruler would have you as his guard? Your face looks like that of a beggar."

Nobushige became so angry that he began to draw his sword, but Hakuin continued: "So you have a sword! Your weapon is probably much too dull to cut off my head."

As Nobushige drew his sword Hakuin remarked: "Here open the gates of hell!"

At these words the samurai, perceiving the master's discipline, sheathed his sword and bowed.

"Here open the gates of paradise," said Hakuin.

-----------------------------------

When one goes to Obaku temple in Kyoto he sees carved over the gate the words "The First Principle". The letters are unusually large, and those who appreciate calligraphy always admire them as being a mastepiece. They were drawn by Kosen two hundred years ago.

When the master drew them he did so on paper, from which the workmen made the large carving in wood. As Kosen sketched the letters a bold pupil was with him who had made several gallons of ink for the calligraphy and who never failed to criticise his master's work.

"That is not good," he told Kosen after his first effort.

"How is this one?"

"Poor. Worse than before," pronounced the pupil.

Kosen patiently wrote one sheet after another until eighty-four First Principles had accumulated, still without the approval of the pupil.

Then when the young man stepped outside for a few moments, Kosen thought: "Now this is my chance to escape his keen eye," and he wrote hurriedly, with a mind free from distraction: "The First Principle."

"A masterpiece," pronounced the pupil.

-----------------------------------

Suiwo, the disciple of Hakuin, was a good teacher. During one summer seclusion period, a pupil came to him from a southern island of Japan.

Suiwo gave him the problem: "Hear the sound of one hand."

The pupil remained three years but could not pass this test. One night he came in tears to Suiwo. "I must return south in shame and embarrassment," he said, "for I cannot solve my problem."

"Wait one week more and meditate constantly," advised Suiwo. Still no enlightenment came to the pupil. "Try for another week," said Suiwo. The pupil obeyed, but in vain.

"Still another week." Yet this was of no avail. In despair the student begged to be released, but Suiwo requested another meditation of five days. They were without result. Then he said: "Meditate for three days longer, then if you fail to attain enlightenment, you had better kill yourself."

On the second day the pupil was enlightened.

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Ryokan, a Zen master, lived the simplest kind of life in a little hut at the foot of a mountain. One evening a thief visited the hut only to discover there was nothing to steal.

Ryokan returned and caught him. "You have come a long way to visit me," he told the prowler, "and you should not return empty-handed. Please take my clothes as a gift."

The thief was bewildered. He took the clothes and slunk away.

Ryoken sat naked, watching the moon. "Poor fellow," he mused, "I wish I could have given him this beautiful moon."

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There is a Taoist story of an old farmer who had worked his crops for many years. One day his horse ran away. Upon hearing the news, his neighbors came to visit. "Such bad luck," they said sympathetically. "May be," the farmer replied.

The next morning the horse returned, bringing with it three other wild horses. "How wonderful," the neighbors exclaimed. "May be," replied the old man.

The following day, his son tried to ride one of the untamed horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. The neighbors again came to offer their sympathy on his misfortune. "May be," answered the farmer.

The day after, military officials came to the village to draft young men into the army. Seeing that the son's leg was broken, they passed him by. The neighbors congratulated the farmer on how well things had turned out. "May be," said the farmer.

-----------------------------------
The Zen master Mu-nan had only one successor. His name was Shoju. After Shoju had completed his study of Zen, Mu-nan called him into his room. "I am getting old," he said, "and as far as I know, Shoju, you are the only one who will carry on this teaching. Here is a book. It has been passed down from master to master for seven generations. I also have added many points according to my understanding. The book is very valuable, and I am giving it to you to represent your successorship."

"If the book is such an important thing, you had better keep it," Shoju replied. "I received your Zen without writing and am satisfied with it as it is."

"I know that," said Mu-nan. "Even so, this work has been carried from master to master for seven generations, so you may keep it as a symbol of having received the teaching. Here."

The two happened to be talking before a brazier. The instant Shoju felt the book in his hands he thrust it into the flaming coals. He had no lust for possessions.

Mu-nan, who never had been angry before, yelled: "What are you doing!"

Shoju shouted back: "What are you saying!"

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Keichu, the great Zen teacher of the Meiji era, was the head of Tofuku, a cathedral in Kyoto. One day the governor of Kyoto called upon him for the first time.

His attendant presented the card of the governor, which read: Kitagaki, Governor of Kyoto.

"I have no business with such a fellow," said Keichu to his attendant. "Tell him to get out of here."

The attendant carried the card back with apologies. "That was my error," said the governor, and with a pencil he scratched out the words Governor of Kyoto. "Ask your teacher again."

"Oh, is that Kitagaki?" exclaimed the teacher when he saw the card. "I want to see that fellow."

-----------------------------------

The emperor Goyozei was studying Zen under Gudo. He inquired: "In Zen this very mind is Buddha. Is this correct?"

Gudo answered: "If I say yes, you will think that you understand without understanding. If I say no, I would be contradicting a fact which many understand quite well."

On another day the emperor asked Gudo: "Where does the enlightened man go when he dies?"

Gudo answered: "I know not."

"Why don't you know?" asked the emperor.

"Because I have not died yet," replied Gudo.

The emperor hesitated to inquire further about these things his mind ould not grasp. So Gudo beat the floor with his hand as if to awaken him, and the emperor was enlightened!

The emperor respected Zen and old Gudo more than ever after his enlightenment, and he even permitted Gudo to wear his hat in the palace in winter. When Gudo was over eighty he used to fall asleep in the midst of his lecture, and the emperor would quietly retire to another room so his beloved teacher might enjoy the rest his aging body required.

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"Our schoolmaster used to take a nap every afternoon," related a disciple of Soyen Shaku. "We children asked him why he did it and he told us: 'I go to dreamland to meet the old sages just as Confucius did.' When Confucius slept, he would dream of ancient sages and later tell his followers about them.

"It was extremely hot one day so some of us took a nap. Our schoolmaster scolded us. 'We went to dreamland to meet the ancient sages the same as Confucius did,' we explained. 'What was the message from those sages?' our schoolmaster demanded. One of us replied: 'We went to dreamland and met the sages and asked them if our schoolmaster came there every afternoon, but they said they had never seen any such fellow.'"
 
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signifying nothing

signifying nothing

-
Sep 13, 2020
2,553
If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.
 
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UseItOrLoseIt

UseItOrLoseIt

1O'8
Dec 4, 2020
2,217
If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.
Plot twist: the one giving this advice is Buddha
Plot twist: you just killed Jesus and started 2000 years of Christian dominion.

@Sensei Beautiful stuff. The only koan I know is a musical one. As far as music goes, it sounds very wise and introspective, so I'll just pretend it counts :ahhha:
 
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Sensei

Sensei

剣道家
Nov 4, 2019
6,336
During the civil wars in feudal Japan, an invading army would quickly sweep into a town and take control. In one particular village, everyone fled just before the army arrived - everyone except the Zen master. Curious about this old fellow, the general went to the temple to see for himself what kind of man this master was. When he wasn't treated with the deference and submissiveness to which he was accustomed, the general burst into anger. "You fool," he shouted as he reached for his sword, "don't you realize you are standing before a man who could run you through without blinking an eye?" But despite the threat, the master seemed unmoved. "And do you realize," the master replied calmly, "that you are standing before a man who can be run through without blinking an eye?"

-----

Tanzan and Ekido were once traveling together down a muddy road. A heavy rain was falling. As they came around a bend, they met a lovely girl in a silk kimono and sash, unable to cross at an intersection. "Come on, girl," said Tanzan at once. Lifting her in his arms, he carried her over the mud. Ekido did not speak until that night when they reached a lodging temple. Then he could no longer restrain himself. "We monks don't go near females," he told Tanzan, "especially not young and lovely ones. It is dangerous. Why did you do that?" "I left the girl there," said Tanzan. "Are you still carrying her?"
 
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W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,164
Thanks for educating me, Sensei-san! I always learn something new here. I love it!

Koans huh? Well, it seems I love looking for koans because lately, I've been asking myself questions which probably have no answer (yet) but somehow, I think I might be able to understand existence better!

Anyway, ty 4 sharing!!!

Hugs,

Matt
 
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GenesAndEnvironment

GenesAndEnvironment

Autistic loser
Jan 26, 2021
5,739
A cucked wagie was walking home from work on a dark and stormy winter night. He saw a strange figure wearing only a blanket in the frigid weather, as he approached what looked like a short and chubby man he felt a comfy, otherworldly presence. The wagie had unknowingly encountered an incel NEET.

The wagie was annoyed by how relaxed the NEET was despite not wearing enough clothing to stay warm and dry during the storm.
"Y-you have to wear a jacked in this weather, you'll catch a cold!"

The NEET smiled amusedly and replied: "Why would catching a cold bother me?"

The wagie was perplexed and started crying hysterically. He blurted out a sentence in between sobs: "You can't work when you're sick!!!"

"I don't work", the NEET replied calmly.

"If you don't work then how will you save enough money to retire?" The wagie desperately whimpered whilst pissing himself.

"Describe what I would do differently if I was retired as compared to now." The NEET replied.

The wagie reached enlightenment instantly.
 
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TheAmazingCriswell

TheAmazingCriswell

I predict...
Apr 28, 2021
1,351
A cucked wagie was walking home from work on a dark and stormy winter night. He saw a strange figure wearing only a blanket in the frigid weather, as he approached what looked like a short and chubby man he felt a comfy, otherworldly presence. The wagie had unknowingly encountered an incel NEET.

The wagie was annoyed by how relaxed the NEET was despite not wearing enough clothing to stay warm and dry during the storm.
"Y-you have to wear a jacked in this weather, you'll catch a cold!"

The NEET smiled amusedly and replied: "Why would catching a cold bother me?"

The wagie was perplexed and started crying hysterically. He blurted out a sentence in between sobs: "You can't work when you're sick!!!"

"I don't work", the NEET replied calmly.

"If you don't work then how will you save enough money to retire?" The wagie desperately whimpered whilst pissing himself.

"Describe what I would do differently if I was retired as compared to now." The NEET replied.

The wagie reached enlightenment instantly.
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of Zen?
 
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motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,086
Anybody have any koans that were used to educate young kamikaze ("divine wind") pilots?
 
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motel rooms

motel rooms

Survivor of incest. Gay. Please don't PM me.
Apr 13, 2021
7,086
Your life is a feather. Your duty is a mountain.
Too bad I'm an individualistic piece of Eurotrash, not a good Japanese worker bee.
My life is a piece of wax falling on a termite that's choking on the splinters.
 
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