Knowing Yourself

[motel rooms]

Isn't it awesome how you can know exactly why you do stupid things & still be completely powerless to stop yourself from doing them?

I found yet another arrogant gym rat in his 20s & played all the games I always play just to see that look on his face, just to get him to beg for it. No humiliation, nothing too rough, basically just a lot of delayed gratification. Come on, cocky muscle slut, tell me what you want from me. Give me a cheap thrill, make me feel like a big man, so much stronger than my father. For an hour. It's worth all the shame.

It's okay, my partner doesn't mind. He thinks the guy who does that stuff isn't the real me. We have this deal, you see. For better, for worse, in sickness & in sickness, until death do us part.

 

[NotStrongEnough]

I found yet another arrogant gym rat in his 20s & played all the games I always play just to see that look on his face, just to get him to beg for it. No humiliation, nothing too rough, basically just a lot of delayed gratification. Come on, cocky muscle slut, tell me what you want from me. Give me a cheap thrill, make me feel like a big man, so much stronger than my father. For an hour. It's worth all the shame.

You're the devil!~
I'm like that. I used to want the attention til I don't want it anymore. I loved it when guys DM me on Instagram to tell me what a hot bear I am. I've had some uh, rather large (both in popularity as well as body) names in the bear community send me nekkids. Hell, I used to smoke Tina with a BIG name in the bear community until he died of an OD.

But what will you do once that no longer scratches the itch? I found the attention got boring after a while.

 

[motel rooms]

But what will you do once that no longer scratches the itch? I found the attention got boring after a while.

Once sex stops scratching the itch, I'm fucked.

 

[NotStrongEnough]

Once sex stops scratching the itch, I'm fucked.

Or not, as the case may be.

 

[Smart No More]

@NotStrongEnough What's Tina?

 

[NotStrongEnough]

@NotStrongEnough What's Tina?

Meth.

 

[Smart No More]

Meth.

Ah ok. Thanks.

 

[Snake of Eden]

I like your name change guess who approved it

 

[motel rooms]

I like your name change guess who approved it

Thanks. Hotels are too classy for the likes of me.

 

[motel rooms]

@NotStrongEnough What's Tina?

A teeth-beautifying substance.

 

[Snake of Eden]

A teeth-beautifying substance.

Thats only a meth myth

 

[motel rooms]

Or not, as the case may be.

In all seriousness, I wouldn't last a day without sexual gratification.

 

[Smart No More]

A teeth-beautifying substance.

I assume l, being an amphetamine it's users are also prone to a bit of 'billy willy'.

 

[motel rooms]

I assume l, being an amphetamine it's users are also prone to a bit of 'billy willy'.

 

[motel rooms]

wow

Wow?

 

[avoid_slow_death]

It's incredibly heartbreaking, (at least to myself,) that underneath the thick layer of sarcasm, nymphomania and self loathing, there is a deep, thoughtful and actually, dare I say, sensitive individual.

And although I don't share the same addictions andself destructive behaviors you do, I know all too well about compulsive behaviors I KNOW I shouldn't indulge in, yet do even though the come down leaves me a bit more empty after.

It is good to know you have a partner that supports you no matter what though. Hopefully one day you both might be able to find a way to heal one another enough to live a life at least somewhat free of pain.

 

[motel rooms]

It's incredibly heartbreaking, (at least to myself,) that underneath the thick layer of sarcasm, nymphomania and self loathing, there is a deep, thoughtful and actually, dare I say, sensitive individual.

And although I don't share the same addictions and self destructive behaviors you do, I know all too well about compulsive behaviors I KNOW I shouldn't indulge in, yet do even though the come down leaves me a bit more empty after.

It is good to know you have a partner that supports you no matter what though. Hopefully one day you both might be able to find a way to heal one another enough to live a life at least somewhat free of pain.

Thank you. I can't change, I can't heal from hypersexuality. My mind has been fried for almost 30 years, it's like having a fever; my brain is always at least a little sexually aroused, even right after an orgasm. It's always producing sexual thoughts & fantasies to protect me from flashbacks of abuse. I have to suppress my urges to be able to work & function, but I can't get rid of them. My husband's sex drive is normal & I can't expect him to always be in the mood, that would be insane. I also want to make love to him, not fuck him. It's both a blessing & a curse that I still have no trouble attracting guys I find handsome. It's like doing drugs: it's a high to be in charge & lusted after, especially for someone who is actually insecure, but the comedown is a bitch.

 

[Dot]

Wow?

Srsly thgh am gld u hve fnd sm1 wh/ undrstnds s/ th urgs dnt sabtge ur situatn. Ws tlkng 2 sm1 earlr abt hw gt frstr8d whn r tld r respnsble fr all own actns. Yrs of tryn2 wrk on cre issus whn othr ppl dnt nd 2 & stll compslvly dd sme thngs.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Bad homo man! Oh well, better next time. Maybe.

 

[motel rooms]

Srsly thgh am gld u hve fnd sm1 wh/ undrstnds s/ th urgs dnt sabtge ur situatn. Ws tlkng 2 sm1 earlr abt hw gt frstr8d whn r tld r respnsble fr all own actns. Yrs of tryn2 wrk on cre issus whn othr ppl dnt nd 2 & stll compslvly dd sme thngs.

I know I can't change, I'm just surprised that I feel so much more ashamed.

 

[come to dust]

Getting attention from prospective partners is a very validating feeling. Everyone likes feeling desired. In my case I rarely get attention from men so trying to seek it out on apps etc leads to a barrage of rejections making me more depressed and disheartened.

I've given up on that now and realise being alone with low expectations is much better than hopelessly spending time constantly blocked and ghosted and feeling like human trash. Thanks to chronic fatigue I don't have a huge sex drive anyway, so although I'm lonely I'm not in agony from no sexual touch.

 

[motel rooms]

Bad homo man! Oh well, better next time. Maybe.

Oh, FuckDuck, life makes us deal with such heavy loads every single day...