T
ThatStateOfMind
Enlightened
- Nov 13, 2021
- 1,094
For me, it's pleasant to know that if nothing works out for me, and I can't seem to enjoy life, I can always CTB. Right now feels too early to make such a decision, and I want it to be well-informed if I do. It's actually the reason I haven't bought SN or even asked for a source. I imagine by the time I feel I'm ready, if I do decide to CTB, the source will probably be new or if I can't find a source, I'll find another method.
Life rn seems really rough but I'm trying to push through it, mainly a huge driving force is hope that me and my ex will get back together, but that hope is fleeting away day by day. Talking to her nonetheless still helps.
It's just bewildering that she's risking her bf finding out about her talking to me, and him possibly getting really pissed at her for even speaking to me. He talks to his ex but he says "she's different" to my ex. I guess she's one of the few ppl in my life who really cares.
I can't really tell if my mom does anymore, I feel like she's just sick of my bullshit, it's half the reason I want to CTB, so I won't be a burden on her.
I'm feeling kinda down tonight, I don't really know why, my nose hurts because it's bruised and that sucks as well but I suppose I'm happy it isn't broken. I love all of you guys here, I enjoy talking to you all, and it's great to be able to post here.
I don't know what the point of this vent is anymore, I guess I got sidetracked a little but anyways, if life doesn't get better, knowing CTB'ing is always an option is very calming to me. I'm very at peace with the idea of death, only unsettles me to think of the people it will hurt.
Life rn seems really rough but I'm trying to push through it, mainly a huge driving force is hope that me and my ex will get back together, but that hope is fleeting away day by day. Talking to her nonetheless still helps.
It's just bewildering that she's risking her bf finding out about her talking to me, and him possibly getting really pissed at her for even speaking to me. He talks to his ex but he says "she's different" to my ex. I guess she's one of the few ppl in my life who really cares.
I can't really tell if my mom does anymore, I feel like she's just sick of my bullshit, it's half the reason I want to CTB, so I won't be a burden on her.
I'm feeling kinda down tonight, I don't really know why, my nose hurts because it's bruised and that sucks as well but I suppose I'm happy it isn't broken. I love all of you guys here, I enjoy talking to you all, and it's great to be able to post here.
I don't know what the point of this vent is anymore, I guess I got sidetracked a little but anyways, if life doesn't get better, knowing CTB'ing is always an option is very calming to me. I'm very at peace with the idea of death, only unsettles me to think of the people it will hurt.