Help Kind off a fucked up post, but I'd like to hear your opinion about some things before I, y'know...

[Misanthropic Soul]

Fuck social norms so I'm just going to write down whatever the hell I want to write down.

I'm currently working on a hate-filled "suicide note" titled "Manifesto of Pure Hate - Get to know my world full of joy & fucking rainbows". I plan on sending it to the people that brought me so much suffering throughout the years. The manifesto contains the things that made me choose plan (CT)B, essentialy the things that caused me great suffering, and potential overly-dramatised, poetic lines about the postmortem void. I am calling them murderers in an aggressive fashion, and letting them know that they prevented me in my metamorphosis of reaching my dreams. A couple in their thirties and my brother. They are the ones that fucked up my life. If only they wouldn't have ignored and neglected me. I looked up to them, and they disappointed me immensely. They rarely reply to my messages (obviously this is not the only reason. As you can tell by my name, I consider myself a misanthrope, and all I see in the world is evil, selfishness, stupidity, superstition, ignorance, immanence. It's unbearable living in a world without having a good-hearted, caring, friendly, rational friend that doesn't value superficial junk). Not only them, but no one else. No one seems to care about me.
So my main reasons to ctb are basically resentment, feeling completely alone with my thoughts & opinions (I fucking hate it), vengeance, my fear of school, sleeping forever and just simply being grieved by everyone so that I can be in the centre of attention (yes I'm a hypocritical fuck but shouldn't we value the dying's wishes?)

So my question is, how much suffering will I cause my enemies (this couple + my brother)? How will they react to my death? Will they have to live with the guilt for the rest of their lives that they are the ones that ultimately caused my death? I'm asking bc the dead cannot experience.

Also, offtopic, but I was locked-up in a suicide watch thingy without my consent for a week (this happened... last week). I mean if I wanna die you can't prohibit me from doing so, WTF pro-lifers? I merely exist in this shithole bc two strangers decided to fuck ~20 years ago. Did I consent to be born? Fuck no. I'm no ones property. And I'm definitely not gonna stay alive so that the finds that brought me into this hell can remain entertained by my presence. Fuck 'em.
So, what is your take on that? Would you hate getting locked-up against your will in a suicide watch or would you be grateful?

 

[PeterPrincple]

Don't do it. People get over someone dying, they wont miss you or think about you much no matter what you put in your letters.

 

[one4all]

*SMH*

 

[PeterPrincple]

Stop working on your note for a minute and please explain "metamorphosis of reaching my dreams."

 

[FreedomInDeath]

I agree with PeterPrincple they will probably think what a poor person they were mentally ill and then move on. I am sorry this is how the world is. Most everyones dreams are dead unless they were lucky enough to have opportunities and then be able to capitalize on them. Sorry no one you know cares about you, could you try to find friends who could care? Many people have to ditch their families to find friends who love them. Best wishes to you.

 

[nerve]

So my question is, how much suffering will I cause my enemies (this couple + my brother)? How will they react to my death? Will they have to live with the guilt for the rest of their lives that they are the ones that ultimately caused my death? I'm asking bc the dead cannot experience.

It might fuck them up and ultimately derail their entire life. They might not care at all. They might get off to it, like a power trip. We never know until it happens.

Would you mind your corpse getting fucked by a necrophile? If so, why?

Goin out with one more good time

 

[Misanthropic Soul]

Don't do it. People get over someone dying, they wont miss you or think about you much no matter what you put in your letters.

Fuckers! How dare they ruin my life and get over that.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

"main reasons to ctb are basically resentment, feeling completely alone with my thoughts & opinions (I fucking hate it), vengeance, my fear of school, sleeping forever and just simply being grieved by everyone so that I can be in the centre of attention" ≠ "they are the ones that ultimately caused my death"

I think you want them to own your feelings -- and actions. If they haven't before now, they're unlikely to ever do so, no matter how drastic the actions or the feelings behind them.

 

[Misanthropic Soul]

Goin out with one more good time

What for if all I do is suffer? I was never meant to be in the first place.

 

[one4all]

"main reasons to ctb are basically resentment, feeling completely alone with my thoughts & opinions (I fucking hate it), vengeance, my fear of school, sleeping forever and just simply being grieved by everyone so that I can be in the centre of attention" ≠ "they are the ones that ultimately caused my death"

I think you want them to own your feelings -- and actions. If they haven't before now, they're unlikely to ever do so, no matter how drastic the actions or the feelings behind them.

I think it is more to try and make them feel guilt over his actions. yes i am being very BLUNT about this. Sort of a good bye pay back attempt.

 

[tireddreamer]

They are plenty of reasons to ctb, but spite isn't one of them.

Reason being is the only people that you're able to hurt are people that cared about you in the 1st place. If they truly don't give a shit about you, your death won't mean anything to them. It's a frustrating catch-22, I know.

 

[PeterPrincple]

Come on man, there's got to be a way for you to stop thinking about these people and find something to do everyday with yourself, even if it sucks, who cares man. Live poor and marry a jolly fat person that loves you and smoke some Weed.

 

[FreedomInDeath]

Just be careful not to destroy your life permanently with thoughts and actions. I am saying this as to prevent more suffering to you. Yes I am sorry, this world is selfish. Not everyone is cruel though and I hope you can find some friends. And maybe rethink your goals in life. This would be the time to think about how to fix these problems but in a neutral state of mind.

 

[PeterPrincple]

ha there should be dating forum here. I mean if everybody just had one person that loved them, would anyone want to Ctb? Or not even love, just another person to be in contact with, in person, someone that's on your side?

 

[PeterPrincple]

Forget about those people man and find a friend. Live life, youre too young for ctb