Kierkegaard, Nietzsche, and My Path to Sanctity

[Dür Ktulhu]

I have never resorted to self-harm in the conventional sense, but recently, I have begun to practice it. However, not for the usual reasons or in the usual manner. To be honest, gentlemen, I have always felt disgust towards tattoos or anything else used to alter one's appearance -I find it... utterly repulsive and marginal. But there is one thing I have always desired to possess. Stigmata. Oh yes, stigmata are what befit me. I will accept nothing else. And I have begun to carve them into myself. It will hurt, it will hurt terribly -but it is so pleasurable. I feel as though I am about to ascend... You know, I feel like a saint. Kierkegaard was right in saying that Christianity brought sensuality into the world.

I know the Dies Irae by heart, I know the height of the vaults in Santa Croce, and how many blows were struck upon Caesar in the Capitol... And that January day? Do you remember, little people, what happened then, on the third of January, 136 years ago in Turin, when Friedrich Nietzsche went mad? You are all so pitiful, who are you before me? What are you? Ashes. Look and envy: you wear tattoos on your skin-totems of the plebeian tribe - while I bear an entire metaphysics upon mine. This is the aristocracy of the spirit. This is my asceticism. Let years have passed since Stendhal walked out of Santa Croce, and let no witnesses remain in the ruins of the Capitol, yet I am still there.

Push the falling one. — Nietzsche.

If anyone thinks this is a joke -so be it. But you would be fools to believe that I am joking.

 

[Arvayn]

You know, I actually really respect this. Stigmatic marks hold some pretty profound spiritual significance behind them; while I am no Christian, I do recognize that it'd be oversimplifying to reduce this to simple self-harm for stress relief purposes, or glorifying it.
If it's profound to you and makes you feel accomplished, then I wish more power to you, and I hope you'll finish with the unpleasant part of acquiring the stigmata in a timely manner. Then again, the experience of suffering is an integral part of the transformation process, right?

 

[Dür Ktulhu]

Then again, the experience of suffering is an integral part of the transformation process, right?

In reality, the stigmata last a long time; before bed I apply a piece of cotton and secure it with a bandage, and in the morning I tear it off -oh, they are bleeding again, so… Having written this post, I was in a state of rapture this morning. In such moments, I become an oracle. I am not a Christian either, but I am incredibly captivated by it… Thinking of Christianity, I always recall Cicero's beautiful words in paraphrase: "If I err in believing the soul to be immortal, I err gladly, and I do not wish to be deprived of this error." An illusion so sublime that it conquers reality itself through its beauty and moral absoluteness. It is this that gives people the strength to burn at the stake without a cry, conquering nature itself. Spirituality puts nature on its knees, philosophy holds it by the throat, and nothing can withstand this tandem. When I think of this, I am proud to be human.

 

[Dür Ktulhu]

Watch this, look at 1:30 - when I watched it for the first time, tears welled up in my eyes... Such purity, such innocence... She is so seraphic, a true cherub. Here lies my Christianity.