i have never taken so much but the k-hole experiences i have had feel so real and i agree i don't know if they are hallucinations. for me usually ketamine somehow relieved my depression and all suicidal thoughts vanish for a time. just i am having such terrible physical problems and trying to get doctors to help and feeling so helpless and so broken i keep wishing i could go to that k-hole place and never return.
Yes, the feeling you get from the K-hole experience seems so real, so different than the highs on all other (hallucinogenic) drugs...
In the K-hole one's body is definitely gone, useless, as is the ego, but one is aware of what is happening... On Ketamine I always had the feeling that I'm on the verge/brink of finding out all the answers about our existence... The enlightenment was right there, just around the corner, so attainable and almost in your hands, but - you never get hold of it... So I kept trying, thinking that the next time I would succeed, and I was always ONE STEP away from it... Hell, I even told my girlfriend - "I will be waiting for you in that place", because "that place" felt so real, so otherworldly and illuminating, that it became a form of an obsession for me. Needless to say, she left me eventually.
I consider myself an psychonaut (experimental explorer of consciousness), I dedicated 2 decades of my life exploring the human psyche through the use of various psychedelic/hallucinogenic drugs, and it helped me on the path of figuring out the secrets of our existence - what the fuck are we doing here and what is the purpose of this shitty life... My doses were always "heroic" (as Terrence McKenna used to say), I experimented with quantities other people would never even consider consuming, as i was searching for answers and never feared for my life... DMT, LSD, psylocybin (mushrooms), ayahuasca, on top of all the other non-psychedelic substances (heroin, cocaine, amphetamines, MDMA, extasy, etc.) - transformed me from a die-hard atheist into a believer in God... Not a believer in organised religion, but a believer in a higher intelligence which is in the core and essence of everything around and inside of us... After using DMT-ayahuasca-LSD-mushrooms - one cannot remain an atheist.
But Ketamine was always a special treat... it was not as illuminating as DMT or ayahuasca, but it was definitely a trip worth having, an experience which enriched this lifetime, regardless of confusing me in the end... it did not provide any universal answers, but the ride itself was unforgettable.
But Ketamine used by itself, regardless of the quantity, should not be considered as a method to CTB.
If you can get hold of it, better use it to fight depression and have a unique ride of your lifetime...
It is a dance on the border of existence and non-existence... it won't get you to the other side, but it will show you what a lack of ego feels and seems like.